Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: The last drop of the sword

  1. #1
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    folsom ca
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,086
    Battle Record
    7-6

    The last drop of the sword

    A cool damp air is reflected through holes in the clouds
    the cries of death converge in the crowds and enshroud
    the valley has warriors strewn about in bouts of insanity
    war repossessed humanity as men thrive off profanity
    stabbing, cutting and slashing, hell takes utter control
    the innocence folds and men see the evil weapons hold
    above the battle a man stands with clinched hands
    like its respect he demands from his conquest of lands
    he manned bands of men less then him and still overcame
    acclaim came with his name, undefeated up until today

    Standing atop the mount gleaming down at bloodshed
    the enemy is stead, colors of red lie deep and embed
    powers collide as the death and conquest wed dread
    warriors tread through, heads severed and arms shred
    morning glances sunlight into his eyes as he cogitates
    debates tactical moves to make as ideas begin to collate
    he demonstrates supreme stature standing amidst chaos
    some lost but he is calm, as he and his enemies eyes cross
    he exhausts the facade of honor from his opponents heart
    this god of the war held up his hand and started to bark
    “it is on this July day that we test our undiminished might
    set right a province and kill our enemy, winning the fight”
    nobody spoke as the regal leader commanded control
    the moment was stole as many watched him bare his soul

    his finger pointed and his horses thrust forward engaged us
    it was our time to battle with our lives as he had our trust
    his lust for glory made him robust as he charged with disgust
    to quit or forfeit was irrelevant as he continued kicking dust
    finally we reach the enemy and he unsheathes his sword
    swinging wildly he gashed and gored through their hoard
    this lord gallantly galloped toward the end of the enemies line
    divine malign, breaking of spines refines his dominant design
    his blood red sword swirls majestically protecting his body
    embodying being godly he tears through those who are shoddy
    mysteriously he is seen falling down from his famous white steed
    mouth is wide gapping, gasping for the air he desperately needs
    he rises from the damp ground to face his angered adversary
    and contrary to belief the battle stopped and watched wary
    the imperial noblemen fell at the edge of his nemesis’s weapon
    his gold plated sword had slipped his grip and silence deafened
    the clank of the sword that hit the ground rang loud all around
    showing respect the battle halted, everyone put their heads down
    it was the last drop of his sword that implored an agreeing accord
    a circle of warriors gathered aboard and honored their brave lord
    the war ceased the day he deceased and the nations agreed on peace
    entered in history is a miraculous deed making the bleeding cease
    Follow at
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Music --->>>>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    folsom ca
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,086
    Battle Record
    7-6
    Follow at
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Music --->>>>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  3. #3
    Boy Nova
    Guest
    I personally like this alot, you stuck to the topic throughout it it was a very good read, alot of emotion come through in the piece and it had some good vocab too, i havnt read alot of your stuff but if its all as good or better than this ill be checkin it out. Very nice drop. Peace
    Holla back and give me feedback on my drop on the link below.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=157668

  4. #4
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    folsom ca
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,086
    Battle Record
    7-6
    thanks man up.
    Follow at
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Music --->>>>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  5. #5
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    folsom ca
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,086
    Battle Record
    7-6
    upping
    Follow at
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Music --->>>>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  6. #6
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    45
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    the topic was there u fallowed it well very discriptive and also your vocab was better the flow was wthere and u feel a sence of personal meaning almost in the context this was a very good rhyme twin
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    53
    Quote Originally Posted by djb
    thanks man up.
    Very good descriptions and imagery used, and it flowed very nicely generally throughout. You also used very good vocab, and the piece itself got better as you kept reading. Very deep, a good length and I enjoyed reading it. Hope to read more your writtens.

    Drop your opinion on this http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...90#post1871990

  8. #8
    Banned FaceFuckaMidget.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    killadelphia, pistolvania
    Age
    40
    Posts
    4,052
    Battle Record
    16-18
    i was feelin this alot.......some deep shit.........nicely used vocab......some points seemed a little stretch, and some points, it looked like you were throwing in words just to go with the previous rhyme......but all in all, 7/10.......

    a fairly original topic, and it was nicely portrayed

  9. #9
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    folsom ca
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,086
    Battle Record
    7-6
    thanks for the solid feedback guys. i was real unsure of how good this was. i thought i might get bashed for it. needless to say this brightened up my day.............
    ryhmes and doesn't even realize it ^

    till afterwards. i am a true mc at heart
    Follow at
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Music --->>>>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  10. #10
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    folsom ca
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,086
    Battle Record
    7-6
    uppping
    Follow at
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Music --->>>>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  11. #11
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    folsom ca
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,086
    Battle Record
    7-6
    last up. can i please get some more feed on this.
    Follow at
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Music --->>>>
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  12. #12
    Envious? Ack Scent's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    N.Carolina.
    Posts
    2,280
    Battle Record
    15-10
    Well considering that this piece is in all respects almost as good as it gets.......at least in my opinion.....I'd say keep droppina and there's not really much to improve on......i'd give it a 8 or 9/10.....it was real good i enjoy readin it every time and i wish i could write like that.........keep droppin look forward to seein more from u..........Peaceezy

    Battles:
    Come and get it.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Omniscient's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Around the way
    Age
    36
    Posts
    753
    Battle Record
    10-13
    Yeah just like what everybody else said it was good....i like how u stayed on point through the whole piece...keep droppin it dogg...holla back

    DaYoungsta boy!!!

Similar Threads

  1. My Sword
    By Brennan Proctor in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: June 29th, 2010, 04:49 AM
  2. The Sword
    By doesnotexist in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: April 27th, 2010, 02:01 PM
  3. S.P. vs. Sword
    By StreetPharmisist in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: February 14th, 2005, 08:49 PM
  4. The Sword
    By Neruda II in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: July 6th, 2004, 06:21 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •