My pledge

[Ack Scent]

I pledge to be true to those true to me,
I pledge to keep my cool wit those who start beef,
I plegde to be honest and upstanding,
but when it comes to my will i pledge to be demanding,
I pledge to be a good fellow in everything i do,
I've pledged to so many girls, but none was honest in truth,
I pledge to back down only when i've been defeated,
And to only brag on victories to those who really need it,
That way i can feed it to em raw, shove it down they throat till they eat it,
i pledge not to be conceeded and be more humble,
And not to brag to the unforunate who are clumsy and stumble,
I pledge not to crumble under any type of pressure,
under any circumstance, any person or desperate measures,
I pledge to keep it real no matter how hard it seems,
these are the things i pledge, but i'ma still do my thing.

[Ack Scent]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=157196
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=129338
my bad 4got to post em, ain't been here 4 a while

[Mixtape]

that was hot man, i like that good structure, much better than mine lol, flow was really good i followed it, it was very understandable, rhymed and multi's, yo i know you hit up one of my threads Something I Threw Together but if its possible hit up Hittin Up Rhymes......it sucks but i need some tips if you got time to drop any....

[Ack Scent]

where's the feedbacik, c'mon people. I'll return favas.

[Ack Scent]

Where iz tha feedback peeps, c'mon now.......htis iz open mic and it iz used for feedback.......so can i get sum.

[Boy Nova]

Man i loved this spit, it was well structured and flowed very nice. It was an easy read, the vocab was good too not too much not too little, just right. Return the favor by voting on any of battles in front lines thanx.
Peace, Nova and out

[Haywood Jewblomi]

I wasn't really a big fan of this piece. It was alright i guess, and was a good idea, but the flow was off in places. Some of it didn't rhyme either, eg.

'I pledge to be true to those true to me,
I pledge to keep my cool wit those who start beef,'

As far as a topic goes, it was an interesting idea, but wasn't pulled off as well as it could have been. It meandered from line to line without ever really making an impact or saying anything important.

The best way to improve would be to try and put imagery and emotion into your writing, and by getting the rhyme structure sorted. To sort out the flow, the best bet would be to read it through carefully as if it was a poem, and see if it can be read as one (eg. 4 beats per line, or a similar thing). It wasn't too bad a piece though, you just need time and practive to improve.

[frosty_101]

its dope man keep up tha work

[Spit No Evil]

I pledge to be true to those true to me,
I pledge to keep my cool wit those who start beef,

Nice opener.. liked the first line better though.

I plegde to be honest and upstanding,
but when it comes to my will i pledge to be demanding,

Solid line again, liked the second line better though... first line was a good set-up.

I pledge to be a good fellow in everything i do,
I've pledged to so many girls, but none was honest in truth,

Wasn't really feelin' the second line because it was kinda off topic.. first was aiight though.

I pledge to back down only when i've been defeated,
And to only brag on victories to those who really need it,
That way i can feed it to em raw, shove it down they throat till they eat it,

This was a solid triplet.. third line was pretty tight.

i pledge not to be conceeded and be more humble,
And not to brag to the unforunate who are clumsy and stumble,

First line was a filler, but it set up the second line which flowed nicely.

I pledge not to crumble under any type of pressure,
under any circumstance, any person or desperate measures,

This was a solid bar, nice.

I pledge to keep it real no matter how hard it seems,
these are the things i pledge, but i'ma still do my thing.

This was my favorite bar, strong closer.

[Cinquix Incision]

ya that was hot,

I pledge to be true to those true to me,
I pledge to keep my cool wit those who start beef,
I plegde to be honest and upstanding,
but when it comes to my will i pledge to be demanding,


I pledge not to crumble under any type of pressure,
under any circumstance, any person or desperate measures,
I pledge to keep it real no matter how hard it seems,
these are the things i pledge, but i'ma still do my thing.


nice close too ^^^


nice i liked it nice structure and vovab. to it

ok opener also ^^

[Prince Escobar]

Yeah this was real approachable it was cool cause you basically just say whats on ya mind, just doin ya thing, its def not overdone, keep up, 1luv.

[The Godfather]

yeah i thought this was a sick rhyme, had a good opener and a strong closer. i thought it had good structure. i liked it

[King_of_Cats]

this is some of your best work. I like the flow to the art the best def.

keep that flow, that's your talent - the ]rest is just hangin meat on dem bones

[noncentz]

this lacked alot but wasnt garbage just so simple and seams steroe typical but it wasnt the woarst i seen so i give it 7/10

[The Godfather]

i liked this one alot...i like ur flow and rhythm def, its sick..i didnt have much time to talk bout it on my other post but i'll show you what i really liked about it:

I pledge to be true to those true to me,
I pledge to keep my cool wit those who start beef,
I plegde to be honest and upstanding,
but when it comes to my will i pledge to be demanding,
I pledge to be a good fellow in everything i do,
I've pledged to so many girls, but none was honest in truth,
I pledge to back down only when i've been defeated,
And to only brag on victories to those who really need it,
That way i can feed it to em raw, shove it down they throat till they eat it,
i pledge not to be conceeded and be more humble,
And not to brag to the unforunate who are clumsy and stumble,
I pledge not to crumble under any type of pressure,
under any circumstance, any person or desperate measures,
I pledge to keep it real no matter how hard it seems,
these are the things i pledge, but i'ma still do my thing...

....The whole damn thing haha

Sick rhyme dude