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Thread: A Past Love

  1. November 17th, 2004, 04:27 AM #1
    Versifier
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    A Past Love

    A Past Love

    We used to stay up all hours, talking on the phone...
    Talk about whatevers on our minds, i wished you'd never go...
    Your the best ive known, your truly one of a kind...
    And the best thing about it was, you were only mine...
    Thats not a lie, i used to love you so much...
    I loved all about you, your looks, your voice, your touch...
    When you werent around, i really missed you...
    I thought i was the luckiest, whenever i kissed you...

    This used to be the way, but thats all in our past...
    If you ever wanted me back, i'd come running fast...
    I used to say i love you, and that still remains true...
    But you had to end it all, cause i was in a bad mood...
    Its all over for us, this is it, all i can ask is why?...
    You said you dont like me, and i know that aint a lie...
    We used to talk all the time, now a few lines are rare...
    Ive never felt so low, this is bottom, i swear...
    I see you around, just thinking of you makes me sigh...
    Were done, just when i thought we were becoming close, Goodbye...


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...41#post1834141
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...42#post1834142
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  2. November 18th, 2004, 01:39 AM #2
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    Upp.
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  3. November 19th, 2004, 02:23 AM #3
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    Stop sleeping. Upp.
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  4. November 19th, 2004, 02:54 AM #4
    TERROR CONVICT
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    Pretty Basic But Direct Rap About Getting Your Heart Broken By Your Girlfriend I Think It's Aight. It Get Tha Message Through

    Return Tha Favor And Post Up On My Threadz On Open Mic
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  5. November 19th, 2004, 05:18 PM #5
    Versifier
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    Yeah i will if i see any of your pieces. Thanks for feedback, anyone else?
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  6. November 19th, 2004, 07:39 PM #6
    lastline
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    that was alight but i think you can do better man try to make it sound better
    when i read it make it rhym more aight but other than that it was good peace
    homie
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  7. November 19th, 2004, 09:08 PM #7
    Versifier
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    Thanks alot man.
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  8. November 19th, 2004, 09:11 PM #8
    Devastator™
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    It was straight, could've used more imagery and a little more emphasis on vocaqb to make it more unique, but its ok.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


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  9. December 3rd, 2004, 03:48 PM #9
    FaceFuckaMidget.
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    im an emotional type of guy, and alot of my pieces reflect it.......but this fell short of my expectations

    that doesnt mean its bad......but ive surpassed this caliber of work long ago
    it seems a little too simplistic....seems not too in depth.....sounds like something everyone says......and when you tackle this type of topic, such a widely used one, you have to give your all to conquer it adaquetly....on a scale of 10.....this is a 7
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