Destination: Unsure

[Nice]

my eyes believe what i deny i see
a world of success hides from me
so i hold in distress what I conceive
scolded, depressed by each rivalry
won't comply you see, traces of my fire burning
but then it dims and the tides are turning
they wash over the flames & the sparks fly
putting out chances of making my mark by,
and only sand is left , each strand a test
each grain represents a demand of quest
to stand at left of the existance meant for me
commanding i make my life exemplary
but im not ready to take the challenge,
im faking balance.. not sure my weight has found it
sometimes i take & pounce at each opportunity
its not like rejection is something new to me..
it just breaks thru with ease & destroys my unity
i feel a sense of failure in my community..
my earnings meek, live life as a lesser person
& when i turn the cheek i confess it worsens
i live life to my hearts content, so fast its fading
cuz my hearts content with procrastination
and my soul agrees.. its the hole in me
not wholy me, slipping as it grows cold & frees..
i turn down its shouldered pleas, to muscle through..
success isn't something i've grown accustomed to
I tussle, fued... its my own life I'm confounded with
Success lurks behind a wall of hope

but I can't ever get around to it.
.
.
.
.

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[Richard Parker]

welcome. i'll reply to anyone who replies to this.

[djb]

that was pretty tight. i thought you said you were gone? well im glad you stayed cuz now i get to read more stuff like this. you are very solid when it comes to multi's and vocab.

i really liked this line.
"they wash over the flames & the sparks fly
putting out chances of making my mark by,"

i like how you always rhyme more then one syllable at the end of you lines. it is the mark of a true pro. excellent piece i wrote one kinda like it, so i could really relate.
i really can't see anything i didn't like in this piece. great drop like usual.

could you please return the favor


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=147539

[Chris Black]

This was a cool drop. The flow was nice. Content was cool. Seemed to wonder your focus a bit, but aight. Not much more to say. You are a success. Your a telented internet textcee! Woot! Keep writing, homie.

My Open Mic: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=148031

-W1

[lillem]

nice drop...i agree with wicked.....wondered ur focus indeed very cool shit...Flow had me rapping the shit outloud....Never do that much, so you got it going on...

Peace

(im hungry whos got food )

[Richard Parker]

sorry, didnt get to these tonight. i promise i'll get to it tomorrow though .

[Nique.]

You ain't gon reply to anyone, but good piece. you jumped around a bit, but your flow was on point and so was your wording...atleast you have that down packed. Pretty good drop.