House rules.
Topic: Evil Thoughts
Due: Thursday Midnight - Eastern time
Good-luck!
Peace
House rules.
Topic: Evil Thoughts
Due: Thursday Midnight - Eastern time
Good-luck!
Peace
Check. Nice Due date and good topic choice. Good Luck to you Cam.
Back.
Oh.. I have a battle, didn't know.. I'll have my verse up in an hour or so... don't really need 5-6-7 days to prewrite.
Goodluck to you too, wise.
Cheaa-ck.
PandorasBox
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My head.. my head hurts, the pain, like it's tearing to pieces
Reasons I should do this, as I stare down the floor board creases
She lies below asleep, so gentle on the bed.. I just want to visit
& tell her my feelings - maybe she loves me too and I just miss it
I want her lucious body & everything with it, beauty esquisit
I can be a creator of life, make babies that people say "he did it"
*walks down the steps*
I stand by her bedside, an angel's eyes hide - I feel my heart
Wait, who would like me? A life so irrelevant from the start
She's going to awake to a terror so fierce n freak, won't say maybe
Scream and call me a rediculous stranger, have a baby? fuckin crazy..
This isn't an obsession, I don't need her.. but her bodies an urge
Nah.. fuck it, I'll move on... *just as this voice comes to diverge*
Devil
What the fuck; you pussy.. do it just because - rip off her clothes
You and I know you want to, then slice her throat & no one knows
Yeah I said it, you have one life, may as well make worth while
She's dead and rid the evidence or live through life in a shit pile..
Who are you anyway? You're just a horn man in little red tights
Can't fool or convince me, I know you're just my thoughts in disguise
You arent the devil, cause.. cause if you were you'd make me do it
And you can't cause I'm a good man, my good side beat you to it
Devil
Wrong! You will do it.. she called you a loser and a fake
So walk into the kitchen, grab a knife, make that a big mistake
I walked into the kitchen and listened, I grabbed the knife
I remained in still position taking time overseeing my life
Thought about what the world would be like - everything my way
Then thought if it's a good reason to take her life away.. not today
Devil
DO IT !!!!
The devil pissed me off, and I tell you this once and for all
I turned back on the devil, "I'm a good man" this begins the sprawl
I fucking killed that devil, his body was all red before...
But I spewed out blood, a little darker... a little more...
The voices stopped, and I stood just coming back to my senses
To my eyes set on a bed of blood - a dead girl in my presense
I dropped the knife to the floor - couldn't move I was in a stare
Glanced the scene once more, the Evil Thoughts I could not bare
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I am posting tomorrow. smoka approved of this. i have practice 2nd of the day now so peace.
Back.
wasn't this open for a week? well, okay...
G/l
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this is a crew battle that was a week long, there isn't really time for excuses man. whether or not smoka agreed, we didn't, so this battle should be over.
Battle stays open, both opponents agree he can drop.
The Evil Thoughts
Headaches. Head spinning with crazy thoughts
The bank just took the new house I just Brought
Having an affair with another girl ..and got caught
Screaming Last night so Neighbors wondered if we fought
But back to the bank..they should of never took my house right?
I know I am in Debt but I was going to pay them back tonight
I could always murder the bank members Like I murdered my mother
And the blood landed on the carpet right by my little brother
The Next day
Walking into the American Bank soaking from the rain
White shirt a little yellow…a Mustard and hot dog stain
Went up to the lady at the desk and reached into my pocket
Started shooting around the bank with imported rockets
Ran out the doors and got into my old 1984 jeep
Hid for the rest of the year in Hotels that were Cheap
This was fucking Keyed. Cus if i dont do it now i will forget later. Going to practice thats why. Peace.
Back.
Cam- I like the idea you had for this topic, and the way you approached it. Flow was decent,the multis helped it a lot. Structure was pretty good. You had some good imagery and emotion in this as well.
Wise- I thought you couldve put a little more effort into yours. Once again, I liked the idea you had but I feel you could have put more emotion and imagery in this. Flow and structure was decent.
vote/ camrok
please return a favor and vote on this...thanks
Me vs. Macabre http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=144501
nice job peepz. props to both and good luck on this.
peACE
Camrok seems to keep on topic, but did not use a broad away of vocab. He had a lengthy verse, but Wise had a more compact verse that stood out. Wise did okay, but should have wrote a deeper writing. Camrok had better diversity in his writing, but since Wise seemed to stay on subject, he gained my vote. Both had outstanding flow in this topical battle.
Vote WISE
Please vote honestly on this battle
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=144510
upping. camrok stay up on this battle. leave links people who vote
Back.
this topical was ok
cam- u did good, ur vocab was nice, ur structure was better than wise's anyway
wise- u were good, but i relle expected better since u took all dose days, i think ur structure was not to good, ur vocab was ok, but my vote is.........
v/ cam-rok
Uppin' #4 for Cam.
Remember, there's 1 up left, since Ace posted twice and you posted once after your verse.
P.S. Uppin' since you're on vacation.
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