Topic: The Pain Within
Min. 14 lines
Max. 24 lines
Both Verses Are Due On Sept. 10th, Friday by Midnight Eastern Time
...Good luck to both....and Mes. said she'd marry me...
Mesmerize
Macabre
Topic: The Pain Within
Min. 14 lines
Max. 24 lines
Both Verses Are Due On Sept. 10th, Friday by Midnight Eastern Time
...Good luck to both....and Mes. said she'd marry me...
Last edited by SmokaJoka; September 3rd, 2004 at 01:49 PM
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
lol^.............................................. ...check.......................................... ...........
Sorry..i've been away but I'm back now. In. Let's go 20?
The thrusting pain pierces me like a gleaming scimitar,
My being wants to be freed, but there's no escape from the car.
Locked doors encompass the prison that limits me,
The bandana blocks my sight, darkness is all I can see.
Bound and gagged like a fetishist, as I get stuck like a pig,
Even if I tried my damndest, I deeper hole I could not dig.
Grunting assails my ears, hands defile my presense,
This pain hurts so much, this situation makes no sense.
I can feel it entering again..I didn't want it to be this way,
After today, what will my first lover say?
Darkness shrouds the car, nobody could hear my cries..
..will this man let me go, or will this man make me die?
He looked so harmless..just a helpful passerby..
Now my only comfort, is the warm tears that I cry.
Virginity escapes my body like a grain of sand in the wind,
Intercourse before marriage, father I have sinned.
But it wasn't my choice dammit, he overpowered my frame,
And all he'll get is a quick fix, amongst his friends he'll have fame.
The pain stops suddenly, as he pulls his thing out..
Will my mind ever recover? Something I highly doubt.
As he throws me out of the car..my mind is in a spin,
The defiling of a young girl, the rape of a virgin.
I went 22 I think. G/L
Through an ambiance of diabolic dreams, chaotic screams pierce my ears
Fierce shadows crawl amongst my frozen body to unlock my greatest fears
My breath becomes surpassed by infected ashes of tormented souls
The abyss of eternal pain has swallowed my life entirely whole
Fangs of broken glass dig in the walls of my sweltered skin
The pain harrows deep; sinking me into this grave of eternal sin
Nocturnal grins of evil stare into my torn eyes from jealous beasts
They feast upon fresh flesh; there is no time of ease or release
The pain is far too grueling…its only fueling into more
Dying is a cycle, never ending, “God save me!” I implore
But I only hear deafening screeches of savaged devils at my feet
Repeated demonic gorges, suffocation, and stifling heat
Incubuses raping me, no escaping pleas just debris from inside
Tied by thorns, Satan laughs, as I bellow and shamelessly cry
Pain on earth was pleasure compared to this living hell
Eternally condemned, pain is where I dwell….
Up......................
..........................
..............................vote................ ...........
mesmerize had a good take on this one ilike the flow teh structure and image
Macabre also had a good takeon this the lfow was nice structure and image
but my vote goes 2 Mesmerize
v-mesmerize
Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
90% How You React To It.
mesmerize got this one
you both could work on your stucture
good vocab......
kept on topic.......
good flow both of you but mesmerize take this one ight.......!!!!
Eww..that's why we should have put this in Elite. Good battle Mezmerize..I just hate these wack 2-line voters
wtf im wack lol ur crazyi used 2 be close 2 elite but i shut off my otha account lol now i jus mess aroudn on battles
but its kool no hate right
Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
90% How You React To It.
thanks for the votes...keep em comin....but lets try to explain a little more next time ey
Upping............................................
upping............................................ ...#5
uppizzle....
Posting Rules
