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Thread: A Broken Image

  1. #1
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    A Broken Image

    A Broken Image
    by Scar


    He ran away from his parents when he was 9, pissed off at what went on in his life. Now he's 12, and he's back...


    The Letter


    Who is the beast? Who is the beast? Who is the beast?
    It repeats, the answer held among the smooth air's breeze
    Who is the beast? Who is the beast? Who is the beast?
    It repeats, the answer is a nightmare to fall in your sleep


    Dead Mom & Dad, oh forgive me, I meant bitch & bastard
    Let me tell you a tale so frightful, you'll be frightened from laughter
    There was once a couple who were blessed by God's eternal strength
    Their life aligned perfectly among the world's infinite widths & lengths
    Now on a dark, stormy night, shadows were meant to darken their paths
    Walkin' with their only child... Screams! And the dogs' barkin' won't last
    As they stride past the corner of death, lookin' over a sacred grave
    Thought their direction would remain in perfection, yet hatred pays
    Unpleasant laughter began to unfold among the grave's lawn
    Screams! They turn around and there stood their son........... Gone!


    *Image Visioned*


    A couple of years passed, the image revolves around them endlessly
    The past couldn't walk and turn away, what's done is what's meant to be
    But situations would change, flames would oppose their opposing lanes
    What's done to their child, would pay them a visit and do the same
    On that same date, when their son was taken away, trouble occurs
    The image visioned in its own frame, without what's remained from the world
    They couldn't stand the vicious beast of the image scarring their souls
    Who is the beast? The secret that the breeze of the air holds
    A broken image haunting their past, removing what's left from sight
    But their lives gone! As each one rests a knife in their chest tonight


    Who is the beast? The truth must speak, it will haunt you
    I am the beast fools! I murdered the child, with his parents too
    Those were the results of A Broken Image, so learn this today
    A Broken Image, I Am..................throw all of my pictures away!



    Make sure you read both choruses, they're different.

    -Scar

    Peace

  2. #2
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    Last edited by Escar; September 6th, 2004 at 02:04 PM

  3. #3
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    an impressive and original concept, and since i think originality is 50% of illness you're off to a good start. the imagery is great and extremely haunting, the multis and strong vocab are less present here but the strength of the piece make up for that.

    some good work, i look forward to seeing more from you.

    keep posting

    p.s. could you do me a favour and reply to my new post?

    SS League Record 31-8
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  4. #4
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    ^^Sure, I can't find it in OM though, link me.

    Or are you talking about something else lol?

  5. #5
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    WACK..... lol


    nah j/p... i actually really liked this, from the title i thought it was gonna be something diffrent, but nope it was definately not what i was exspecting.... good stuff

    i thoguht your last 4 line of the second verse were dope, best of the lot, id say... but yeah all round strong.... maybe one thing id say is a few of the lines seemed a bit stretched, a tad... but nothing major....

    oh and thnx for hitting my OM... appreciated man
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  6. #6
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Escar damn nice job. This had a shit load of detail and imagery. I thought the son was going to kill the parents you added a nice suspense factor into the mix.

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    Thanks everyone.

    Uppin'...

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    Uppin' like there is no tomorrow.

  9. #9
    Banned Ace of Aces's Avatar
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    well said by johnny. excellent concept and way to put this together man. i was feelin' this the whole way thru. repetition isn't quite common on this site but you performed in nicely in this one. the meaning was hard to strike at first, which gave this well toned suspense that allowed me to want to read it. keep comin' dope man, perfect structure, tight flow, completely dope.

    peACE

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    Thx yo.

    Uppin' like there is no tomorrow.

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