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Thread: Short Story: Rewind-Part1

  1. #1
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Short Story: Rewind-Part1

    Rewind


    Part 1

    I have commited a sin. I know I have done wrong, but for an unknown reason I do not remember what it is. I search my surroundings for any clue of where I might be. Machines, computers, and other mechanical devices are cascaded around this building. "A factory?" ask myself in confusion. "Why don't I know where I am?". A fainst smell of a burning candle harasses my senses. I decide to look around a little bit before I leave this unknown building, just to know what I'm dealing with. My quite footsteps barely make a sound as I search for a clue to where I may be. I notice I'm breathing hard, and my lungs are hurting generously. I keep walking around for something, when a hear something. Out of the corner of my ear, I hear voices. A muffled discussion in the distance of the factory. I silently follow the conversation out of curiosity, not knowing what might be around the next corner of this eerie mechanic sanctum. I follow the sounds down a dark, cold hallway. Moisture drips from the walls because of the freezing temperatures. My breath is visible as I breath this chilling air. Finally up ahead I spot a door. A gigantic piece of metal blocking my path to the voices I am following. I spot a faint light through the crack underneath the door. The voices are clear now, as I eavsdrop on the discussion in the room in front of me.
    "He has commited THE sin! We can't let him on the loose after he has done such a thing!" Said a man's voice.
    A softer voice of a young woman answered. The voice sounded cold and fearless, it gave me the chills listening to her.
    "I know, but we can't just keep him. He is yet to finish his task."
    The man's voice rised with a feeling of anger. "That's foolish! For all we know he could be standing outside the door listening to us right now!"
    Shock sprang over me. Where these two unidentified people speaking of me? How could they possibly know I am here, when I don't even know why?
    "Don't be foolish, why say such a thing? He will be killed by morning anyway," the woman responded in her eerie tone of voice.
    I had heard enough. Whoever these people were, they had no intention of keeping me around. I reached to my waist and felt the katana that was sheathed on my belt. "What? How do I have a weapon with me? No matter, it will prove worth against whoever is in this room." I thoguht to myself. I unsheathed the katana from my belt. What happened next I did not know, but I was sure I would find out.
    I took one last breath before I made my move. I kicked the door open and pointed the sword where I thought the strangers might be. What I saw shocked me. There was no one in the room. It was a gigantic metal room, an enormous iron box. Nothing inside it but a single object in the middle of the floor. A tape recorder. "Was this where the voices were coming from?" I asked myself. I picked up the device and examined it. What else was I to do except press play? I hit the button, and the same eerie woman's voice crackled through the player and told me something I would never begin to understand.
    "Hello. You do not know me, but what I am about to tell you is vital information."
    "What could she be talking about?" I wondered in awe.
    "Please ask yourself these questions. Who are you?" said the woman's voice through the recorder.
    I was stunned. For I noticed I did not know the answer. Who am I? What is happening?The voice started talking again.
    "Yes scary isn't it? You don't even know your own self."
    I thought hard. This cannot be, there is no logical explanation to why I would not know my own being.
    "Stop trying to rationalize an answer. It is true. Do you even know what you look like? Look in the mirror."
    I was confused. Did I know what I looked like? Millions of questions were racing through my head I was unable to answer. And what mirror was this lady talking about. Suddenly I saw it out of the corner of my eye. There was a mirror placed on the opposite wall. What else was I to do but look at it? I walked silently over to the mirror, and looked hard into it. I saw a peculiar looking young man. He had pure white hair that ran down to his shoulders. His skin was pure white, with many scars deeply embedded into it. He was a bulky looking man, by his looks I figured he was very strong. He wore a big black jacket, and black pants to match. Could this man truly be me?
    The voice spoke on the recorder once more.
    "Yes, strange isn't it? You did not even know what you looked like. You probably don't even know what your own voice sounds like."
    I was stunned. What was happening? Who am I? Where am I? Why was this chain of events happening to me? I needed answers. Anger took control of my body. I threw the recorder in the air, and slashed it with exact precision with the katana that I was holding. I looked at the sword. And how do I have a katana?Answers are what I want. And I want them now. I sheathed the katana back to my side, and walked out of the metal room, closing the iron door behind me....


    To Be Continued...
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  2. #2
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    I'm very rusty with my short stories lately. But I thought I might as well write this up. The story doesn't really unfold till Part 2, so I'm not suprised if alot of people dont get it. Any questions about it, please ask
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  3. #3
    Beautifully Decayed Mesmerize's Avatar
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    Damn it Bloom...leave me hangin like that..I was becoming very interested in your story as to why that was happening...you had some good imagery in this...a few grammar errors and spelling...but no biggie. Its good to see you trying new things. One thing I noticed was you used the same words a little too much..try finding different adjectives...for instance, I noticed you used the word eerie a few times...But I think you done really well with this peice..I am looking forward to reading part 2

  4. #4
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Yea Part 1 is basically an intro. You dont get what is really happening till part 2. And i didnt have a spell check so i couldnt really check everything. THank you for reading mes
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  5. #5
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Any more replies before i post part 2?..
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




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