Laying Flowers At Your Grave.

[FanTa ZeE]

You must have loved me once, way back before my daddy died,
Before you surrendered to the tears that cut and burned inside.
Before my brother started taken drugs, and drinking far to much,
You must have loved me long ago, you must have craved my touch.

You must have loved me when I was young and you took me to the park,
And stayed with me there till the sky was bare and sunlight gave way to dark,
You must have loved me Christmas time, when I made you a pretty card,
And you smiled and hugged me tight,back before your heart was scarred.

You must have loved me one time, when you sat me on your knee,
And told me fairy stories, of hopes and dreams still true to thee,
You must have loved me at five years old, when we played on the swings,
You made me laugh so much back then, back when you wore a wedding ring.

You told me once you loved me, though the memory's almost gone,
Smothered in the stink of alcohol that made you so withdrawn,
Its near to non existant, but if I close my eyes real tight,
Then I can capture the last of those words you sold to me that night.

Its hard to believe that you loved me once, now that i see you so upset,
The weight of the world has torn you down, and your dwelling on regret,
Its impossible to think that you love me, though I fight to savour that charm,
Its so hard to think you know me still, with that needle in your arm.

It was difficult to say that you loved me, when I lay flowers at your grave,
A place where no one else had visited, since your sad funeral day,
It was so hard to remember your breath of laughter in my ear,
Of the wave of kindness that I longed for, all through my school years,

I can't honestly say you loved me, because you told me all the time,
That you wished I had died in daddy place, and that he were still alive,
I want so much to believe you loved me, but you didn't from the start,
You hardly even looked at me; and thats what broke my heart.




more poetic than anything else, but it has a simple rhyme scheme so it should be easily followed.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=143397
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=1664252

[LM]

I actually liked this...

Was a smooth read with a nice steady flow. The emotion poured through this as you told the story with good imagery and creativity. Only thing I'd suggest would be to shorten your lines....they seemed stretched but it didnt alter the piece too much.

It was difficult to say that you loved me, when I lay flowers at your grave,
A place where no one else had visited, since your sad funeral day,

^^ I like them the most for some reason

Keep droppin

[***DEST***]

yeah i like this aswell.. it has a mellow side to it with a deep message.
i could see this vibing nice to a soft beat.

nice drop

pz

[Foreshadow]

Damn Fan emotional and touching. I feel what you are saying and I can see every image you projected so vivid. You did a great job with everything keep writing.

[FanTa ZeE]

Thank y'all!

[Endeva.]

well fanta, you sure got alot of emotion into this drop... and i think the repetative way of writing you used quite suited the concept, and what you were portraying.... yeah quite touching....

short reply, but that all i wanted to say... lol