1st post: peep and reply

[larsynizt]

aint no joke/not here to b provoked/only here 2 make niggas choke/on they words cuz kidz spittin flame @ yall birdz/within 2 weeks everybody'll kno my name if u aint heard/larsynizt is here to start a revolution/ne1 wit problems... im ya fuckin solution/excuse my french/but da stench/ from da shyt i kick... will have niggas on da bench/wishin they could spyt dis sicc/ aint even at full blast yet iz juz a sample/when it comes 2 necc breakin rhymes dis niggas got ample/lyrical vamp don make me get amped/cuz im a hundred dollar bill/n uz a food stamp

[lyricalmami]

you need to work on ay whole out-come. u seem like u got potential.

Holla

[***DEST***]

this was iight man ..few simple ryhmes in it... the flow was kinda there.... mami is right i can see potential there 2 ...

nice drop keep them coming

pz

hey repay the favour check out..

another rich white president......

pz

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[»«F®åñ¢hîz軫]

a little to simple u need more metas or sumthin

[The EYE]

structure =| very short, hard to read, but was'nt bad for a first post. -out

[J~BLaYze]

Potential definitely..Short and simple..but u had a few strong points..keep postin tho..Ill peep em'...much lvu 1.

[FanTa ZeE]

ah the newbie...so predictable in the 'self glorification' first post. Not hating or anything, but you'd do your talent and yourself a lot more justice if you wrote something meaningful that people could feel. Just my 2 cents. Oh and yeah, the structure was horrible, in future, i would set each line out on a different line and lose the '/' at the end of each bar. Putting that unnecessary punctuation in there just makes it seem like there are breaks in the verse and no transition between lines. Which is bad. But if you wrote something that people could relate too, then yeah, your talent would shine.

[Sublime D]

weak...potential...blah...corny...do better....3.1/10