Bars of Doom

[Telekinetic]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=142519
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=140978

I was going more for flow than anything in this.
Trying some shit out. Just a non-planned out session.
The technical aspect was a monster though
It's been a while....


Keys and a blank screen are seen as I think keen
Clear theme I hear it commandeer and engineer it
Like a pioneer with a style quite bile and versatile
Unique mystique with a foreign flow like the Nile
I greet defeat with a smile so I’m verbally frowning
I speed heat from a mile like a burgundy browning
This technique I speak kills surreal in certain fields
Like a Samurai and sword are lord to ways of war
I’m ahead of my time like rhyming back to before
Raps faded with bore, made a mess of fresh sound
Monotony hasn’t gotten me but copies set bound
Less renowned artists are targets best bombarded
With pressure to be no fresher, sell by any measure
A little refresher MTV and to CD’s topping charts
Heartbeats in the art, beats aren’t beating the heart
Bleeding start to unwind and display a blind mind
Ass drugs and pumpin slugs all at the same time?
Learn to rhyme topics instead of optics on profits
I snatch dollar signs outta sockets an hock at many
Million dollars of trash, skill don’t pocket a penny

[ILLunatic]

Flow was on point, you did a bit of one line rhyming.
Structure was good. You made the text stick out
Which I think that's just quite annoying in verses
It's like you think we need glasses or some shit
But anyways, back to the drop.
I didn't understand what you were getting at, at first
I had to read it twice juss so I could realise it..
Anyways.. nice piece.. Keep it up, you'll only get better

Hit this up - http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...65#post1640265

[StraighAce]

the flow was good and structure was good even though i dont prefer the on line rhming. had a pretty good topic. overall this was a good drop. and you said you were going for flow more than anything else you accopmlished that
you flowed very well


return the favor choose a link (link in sig)

[Telekinetic]

About the one line rhyming.... I got tired of the plain ass AA shit ya know?
Desided to get a little crazy with it. Naz does it some. So I thought I would experiment with it a little. Makes it a little harder. Ohh an ILL... My bad on the text size. lol I will change it. Anyway thanks for the replys. I will hit you guys back when I can.

[Bloom.Quist]

Pretty good tele. I liked the flow on this. Very well constructed piece. I'm not sure how you took this on the topic, hard for me to understand, but hey thats just me.I still enjoyed it. Come back to Po'Ethics we mess you .

1

[Bounce]

What's up Tele, yeah this was definatly more my style here, I could appricate the time and effort that goes into writting in this style. It's what I do in most my drops, not many can pull it off well, you did. Too short for me, but nice balance on the lines and good overall structure. complexity was in the scheme, you could add a litte in the content. Very cool, check out some of my work most is along these line here. Governed by shadows in written in this form. I think you did good, keep up the drops man.

-Bounce

[lyricalmami]

This was very cool. i liked the way it was brought out. keep it up cuzzo!
1

[Telekinetic]

Thanks alot for the feedback guys. I will try to hit you all back.

Bounce- Thanks for the indepth feedback. You always good for that.
Ohh and nice avy by the way. Now that shits throwback. lol
Anyway thanks alot.....Peace

[krazylocster]

i dont like the way that you did your structure with changin your number of rhyming on every line..but your topic was good and you had really good words...it was easily related and understood.....vocab was descent..and i could keep a flow descently...

[Telekinetic]

Ok krazy first off..... you know less than my balls about what your talking about.

Second you wrote this:
"With a rec like that why keep goin cause i have to know
No game is there..and thats why you is called master moe
This fool tryin to rap and he be livin up in new york city
Bitch ass tryin to rap while hes in the retard committee"

So that brings us back to the top and you not knowing shit.
OK follow me now......Thats why your title says "Hi there im new"

Now that im the first smart ass to server you.
Where my money bitch!

[Bloomquist]

Mine says hi there im new. And i know alot....














































Cuz im Bloomquist

[Common]

This was a good piece Tele you had a good structure and a nice concept for the drop..

[Telekinetic]

Thanks common.
BQ- it also says joined May 2002.
And you still don't know shit. lol

[Yung Face]

good shyt fam, da whole piece was my style. da punches were nice structure was nice and da wordplay and it was creative.........look fo mo shyt to come from u

keep it up

[Crimsion]

dont ko .. i hatedthe one line thing .. but the muti thing an abusive over rhyming dats all over now i understand u wanting to be diff .. it wasn't dat bad tho .. stay up