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Thread: young-too young

  1. #1
    exprtsharpshootr
    Guest

    young-too young

    I sit in the grass, I sit and stalk
    10 long days I'm ready to walk
    can't feel my legs, can fell my skin,
    can't feel anything but what's deep within
    I acquire my target, I pull the slack,
    the conscience to pull, is what I do lack,
    then I remember my friends and my family,
    if I don't do this, can I really live happily,
    knowing that a man like this went free
    when pulling the trigger was up to me,
    this man is a killer, a murder at that,
    so I pull the trigger and that is that
    I feel no remorse, for I have not sinned,
    but can't express what I have within
    I followed my orders, I came and I did,
    but the think that erked me, is he was a kid
    I still pulled the trigger, I take blame for my work
    at the age of 21 this kid was a jerk
    had everything a kid could get, anything he wants,
    but the nightmares I get is the kind that haunts,
    but no, he did bad, no not a good deed,
    especially in the scope of this young marine
    I came and I saw, I did what I did,
    even thought I'm just a stupid... young kid
    if I'm so stupid why am I still kicking
    because I'm that good, is what I am thinking
    u think of me as a coward, how dare u say a thing
    I'd like to see u do it, Mr. so-called sniping king
    don't ever talk shit, we risk our lives
    for people like u who cheats and connives
    and u say I'm scared, scared of what?
    hell ya I'm scared scared of bad luck
    I have no choice I have to be good
    I have the courage that everyone should
    courage of a lion smarts of a lamb
    I can't help it, I am what I am!!
    at the age of eighteen, I will be the best
    I have to be, for everyday is a test
    of skill, of knowledge of life itself
    of times of thinking, and knowing ones self
    when u sit there for hours your mind starts to wonder
    what if I do, everybody does ponder
    what if I mess up, what if I'm in the wrong
    when if I get seen, that's it I'm gone
    there's no second chances, this isn't close to a game,
    and for the people I killed, I just have no shame,
    this is a minute in the eyes of me
    this just happens too be my cup of tea
    and everyone talks, about how they could
    ok, just show me one thing, that u would!!
    u see u learn them, just like a friend ,
    u see them live again and again
    u see there eyes, you see there soul
    of what there thinking, when I pull
    I pull slow, I don't dare blink
    and the worst thing of all, don't even think
    I hear thunder, I bring back the recoil
    I see red, just as thick as motor oil
    he's down on the ground I stay still,
    sniper scouts looking, and ready to kill,
    I kill them first then I run
    and run fast, into the sun
    I want to run, as hard as I can
    so I can go home once again
    actually I can't I'm still on the ground,
    I see something coming, plump and round
    oh shit I'm fucked.. its a dog
    I scope it up, he's fat like a hog
    I pull the trigger, have to move,
    4 shots I'm found, its a game I can't lose
    so I back off, still down low
    I got a new spot, I'm ready to go,
    I scope up a guy, its been an hour
    I feel my stomach, and its gone sour
    but I can't eat I'm so far in
    so what do I do, I look through his skin
    I find his heart, I pull again
    once more,.... I've done it again
    fuck I'm found , so I back off just a little bit
    two more to go, and I'm in the shit
    Ill make these two quick,
    no more fuckin around
    ok I readjust, on the ground
    in a new spot, ready to rock
    I see two run, and I gave it a shot
    one goes down the other stops
    oh shit...... they look like cops,
    that's bonus points, that's one for me
    I shot again, he drops to his knee

    my day is over, I want no more
    but at least I feel, I evened the score
    so if u think that this story sounds lame
    that's life in my eyes, and that's how I play the game


    writen by sniper GT aka-exprtsharpshootr-
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=137167
    Last edited by exprtsharpshootr; August 1st, 2004 at 01:47 AM

  2. #2
    *Daughter of 00* DthsMissingAngel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    On the move
    Age
    37
    Posts
    390
    Hey there. I remember you showing me this one. The imagery was great and there was a lot of emotion flowing through this. The flow was great and the scheme was good. Just.. wow.. You know I loved it. Keep up.

    *(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
    «´¨`·..* SwEeT PeA *..·´¨`»
    *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*

  3. #3
    OG Poet, er some shit.
    Join Date
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    Age
    34
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    Battle Record
    5-5
    Looong one. Very good read though. For future advice maybe try to get a better flow, but everything is opinionated after all. As long as you're having fun writing, ure doing good.Good job.

    Peaaaaaace
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  4. #4
    exprtsharpshootr
    Guest
    hey thx guys, apreciate the advice hoope to read some of your works soon

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave a link to a poetry piece that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks (Holla to the Bloomer!)

  6. #6
    exprtsharpshootr
    Guest
    oh, and this was based on a mission outside of the US incase anybody was womdering bout the cop deal......

  7. #7
    OG Poet, er some shit.
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Age
    34
    Posts
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    Battle Record
    5-5
    Closed. Other poem opened as you asked.
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




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