Fed Ex Ft. ILLunatic

[Foreshadow]

Foreshadow:
Im curious as of now to know whats in the package
Im going to be employed with the airports fed ex and return his lost baggage
I must remain focused and never glance or look
Then once complete I will cross his name off in the book
Im not to sure about what he has done to the boss
He was probably another mobs spy or he just liked to double cross
Its real obvious ounce youve lost you lost
Now the boss is ready to bring revenge on the issue
He shows no remorse because he knows no one will miss you
But he will show enough respect that Im not to use a pistol
After 2 years all your hopes of your new life are becoming wishful
While receiving my instruction I realize your fate is somber
An your left with all your wrong doings to ponder
Be sure to not let you thoughts wonder in pieces
As whatevers in the box begins the end of your life and releases
Ive arrived at my destination were he will sign on the dotted line
The door opened an he didnt realize his life was now confined


ILLunatic:
Confusion & curiosity combined.... so I ask Whats this
And I look to see...........but a return name doesn't exist
Regardless, I sign the line..... And take the package in
What could be in this box..... I’m having trouble imaginin
Before I take a seat to see, I receive an anonymous call
I took no notice of it.... I barely noticed it happened at all
& I sat down, package in hand. I started to open the box
And as I did, I started to hear the sound of some clocks
And I looked down..... and noticed I had a bomb in hand
As I freaked out, I said to myself........ I dont understand
I'm a good man..... And someones out to destroy my life
I only wish I would have had more time to adore my wife
But as the clock ticks down.. 5...4...3...2...1 and BOOM
And in all of a matter of 10 seconds, my life was doomed
My death was consumed, get me a tomb. Cuz I’m dead
Burnt to a crisp, & I wont be seen on my death bed

[Foreshadow]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...776#post1538776
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...804#post1538804

[FormulaSquared]

I wasn`t really feeling this.. seemed way too simple for my tastes.. sorry.. don`t get me wrong.. the flow was nice in both verses.. but Foreshadow, you confused me w/ this:

Im not to sure about what he has done to the boss
He was probably another mobs spy or he just liked to double cross
Its real obvious ounce youve lost you lost
Now the boss is ready to bring revenge on the issue
He shows no remorse because he knows no one will miss you
But he will show enough respect that Im not to use a pistol

^.. "I`m not to use a pistol." where do you come in if you`re talking about this `boss`.. these lines just came out of no where.. and by the way you started.. it didn`t really fit to me.. so, i don`t know.

Ill.. you did ok.. the bomb thing was pretty cool, but you just didn`t have anything in your verse, just like Foreshadow, to catch my attention.. i`ve seen you do better Ill.. and Foreshadow, this is the first i`ve read from you.. so i won`t judge you on one piece.. but I`m sure you have better.. this is just my opinion.. don`t take it to heart.. Pz.

Return the favor; thanks - http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138957

[{UneeK}]

Have to agree with formula im afraid. I completely understand ya concept, but you dont describe it well enough, and the vocab is iffy. Keep trying guys.

[ILLunatic]

To be honest foreshadow... I didn't exactly understand the concept you wanted me to do, and I read your verse... and I wasn't exactly sure how to go off of it. So I just keystyle'd something that I thought you wanted. I couldn't put so much detail into it like usual. But eh...

[Foreshadow]

Yeah it was really confusing but I wasnt the guy who wanted to kill him Im was just hired to give him the package. So it was like a hit and I had to use the package so I wasnt given a gun do you catch my drift.

[Topic]

wow, really confusing. Not a bad read tho. Shadow, you came really basic with a scheme and vocab. Maybe if you were clearer this would have been doper..but im not sure. Tic came alright, about the same as shadow tho. not a weak concept just confusing

[Foreshadow]

Thanks Topics.

[T-Klan]

i feel them on the confusing tip, but it had it good parts along with the confusing parts, i felt where u was tryna get at tho i jus think u didnt run wit it like u shouldve keep it up tho

[Foreshadow]

Aight Thanks.

[+Danny Ocean+]

I didn't think it was confusing but hey maybe i watch to many mob movies. I did think it was too simple however. The vocab down to the flow. Shadow i think some of ur lines were stretched too long and that took away from they flow hence taking away from the story. The imagery was decent but nothing to really catch my attention(to the both of u). Ill ur verse was decent but it was lacking the complexity and depth that u usually write with. All in all this was a little too simple and not complex enough. It was decent tho. Much luv tho, keep doin ya thing guys.

[Brother Blue Collar]

this really did not confuse me at all, at first i thought shadow was being a good smaritian of sum sort then he mentioned the pistol and it came all 2gether, vocab wasn't that simple, while shadow had lines that was worded wrong to me prolly why others got confused

"While receiving my instruction I realize your fate is somber"
that was bad, it felt like you just threw it in there