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Thread: Dark Dungeon's

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Dark Dungeon's

    Dark Dungeon's

    Desending down the concrete stairs chained in multiple shackles.
    Envisioning how this nightmare could unfold into new obstacles.
    Making my way to the bottom of the stairs I met death face to face.
    The mystical figure I called the, "Torturer", threw me into my place.
    I pretended this was just a nightmare, tomorrow all will be better.
    Yeah that's right, I shouldn't be scared, this is just a nightmare...
    But as time went by, I realized I was next to go in this line, dispised.
    Why didn't I see this comming before it was too late for these lies.
    Signin my death wish to be forever cursed in Dark Dungeon's........

    Blind Love:

    The day I first saw her, I was being scolded by my English teacher.
    She was the new student every body had been waitin for, forever.
    Giving her a bad expression in my opinion, she gave back a compliment.
    As the days started to stack, our effections for eachother were intent.
    We decided to become one, where no one could point their gun at us.
    We had something that most relationships lacked, we had 110% trust.
    Or so it seemed..........16 years later......
    We had been married for five years,had 3 kids and payed off our mortage.
    I had a decent job that payed good, we had the perfect marriage.
    One day back sometime in May, I lost my job with out any pay.
    As our children played, we struggled to make ends meat some way.
    My wife who I loved, contemplated we should get a friendly divorce.
    As the days went by, she grew bitter towards me, she showed force,
    In everything she did, she'd show contemptment for everything about me.
    I found out she had been hiding mail from me, I got letters from angencies.
    Saying to pay up or else, lost all my good credit, then I found one letter,
    Found out she was planning on going back to her mother and father.
    Setting up different bank accounts throught different deposits.
    I was so tired from all this bullshit, I just went to bed that night.
    Woke up the next morning to see she was gone and so were the kids too.
    Called me on the phone, sayin she's not commin back home, why you,
    At that point in time, I wanted take my shotgun off the rack and kill her.
    I supported her all those years, never drank a beer, now I stand here,
    Helpless, the system out to destroy me, Payin her child support,
    while she's datin another wealthy man, it was settled in court,
    We had our friendly divorce alright, she got the house, kids, and my life.
    I thought we were one,I thought she was my wife, until I grabbed a knief.
    Went over to her house forgettin about the restriction order,
    I kicked the door down and saw that damn bitch tell me to get out of here.
    went up to her with a butchers knief behind my back, pulled it from behind,
    I killed her, chopped her into multiple sections I comitted an evil crime.
    In court, I was guilty of 1st degree murder, convicted for life in prison.
    Ready for my death sentense, I entered into my Dark Dungeon...........


    Desending down the concrete stairs chained in multiple shackles.
    Envisioning how this nightmare could unfold into new obstacles.
    Making my way to the bottom of the stairs I met death face to face.
    The mystical figure I called the, "Torturer", threw me into my place.
    I pretended this was just a nightmare, tomorrow all will be better.
    Yeah that's right, I shouldn't be scared, this is just a nightmare...
    But as time went by, I realized I was next to go in this line, dispised.
    Why didn't I see this comming before it was too late for these lies.
    Signin my death wish to be forever cursed in Dark Dungeon's........

    See, in Dark Dungeon's, you can't apply for it,
    You can't see it, you can't find it,
    In Dark Dungeon's, they find you and accept you.
    But once you enter, you'll never see daylight ever again.......

  2. #2
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  3. #3

  4. #4
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    well it was long, it had an intricate plot, it unfolded slowly,rhyme scheme was aiight,vocab was there, some of tha words didnt rhyme well but it was a good concept,and good originality.keep droppin and improvin.~1~


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  5. #5
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    thx for the feed, anyone else?

  6. #6
    I'm Bakk!
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    This was alot better than the othe stuff i read!!!!!!!! but still need to elevate!!!!!!!good job though!!!!!
    can you please return the favor and vote on my battle thanx!!!!!!!!
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138120

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    I'll try to.......I have a lot of stuff to do right now....(Makin Another topical)

  8. #8
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    uppin.............................

  9. #9
    not to bad,not to bad.

  10. #10
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    uppin............................................. ...........

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! jflow3030's Avatar
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    it was ok but it was a little corny

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by jflow3030
    it was ok but it was a little corny

    how so? If you haven't been down this road....then yeah..it is corny....but if you have then you should understand this......

  13. #13
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    ahhh....I see what you mean....lol...took me some time...But I see where your commin from.

  14. #14
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    uppin............................................. .....

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