The Nickel

[Ron Burgundy]

Passing through hand`s of many
I`m harrasing myself
Yet the offer still stand`s as ready
Steady , I am to quick not to drop
Stick`s stone`s or rock`s
Goldie Lock`s can`t top this crop
Grime all over this greasy nickel, yes!
Slime converts to sleazy
Pickle over the measly at best
It`s shine is dense , a pitiful silence
Since time it`s only worth 5 cent`s
Rolling them into 2 single bill`s
Strolling when you tingle at will
Know what i`m feeling!?!
No, Mingling when sparking the mill
Jeffersons face! God I love the sight
Sediment`s a disgrace
It start`s to stop above his eye`s
I`ll clean you don`t worry
I seem to vent steam
And in meaningless hurrie`s
I never find you when need be!
But when we meet
Will your fat face greet with courtesy?
Or will you taste the whole place
And steep to dirt and debris
Stop yelling, I don`t know this place!
I bought a rolled some nickel`s
But these didn`t have a face.

[Ron Burgundy]

I`ll edit in link`s later

[DaTrusHurtz]

Ron, this is a nice start, but I feel you need to work on your structure and vocab. The structure was very inconsistent, I felt maybe this might have worked a bit better as an audio, but as a text it kind of lacked flow. Also you used kind of simple vocab, see if you can elevate a bit. Keep at it

[PHILOSOPHER]

I agree with DaTrusHurts keep it up

[Vylint]

That was dope. Nice short lines and some dope content. Lol. Crazy like though.

[Brother Blue Collar]

work on structure and press enter after every line in a bar easier read