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Thread: The Woman's Forgotten

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    The Woman's Forgotten

    she was running through the world without a look back
    always gunning down the halls never leaving a track
    never left her trace didn't even leave a touch
    look at her face and you'll see she missed much
    missed all the chats with her friends about love
    wore all her masks never thought of the dove
    but broke out into a world never leaving her mark
    all her thoughts in a twirl but now the road is too dark
    she's at the end of the line where everyone ends
    there's no fork this time, the road never bends
    she wishes she could do it all again
    but this is all over she left the world without a friend


    true story people... my friend was talking to his grandmother on her death bed and she told him how she lived her life and made him promise that he would be active. So, I'll pass this onto you.

    Live life like there's no tomorrow, because by the time that day comes, you won't be able to do the things you've always wanted. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette or something.. later.

  2. #2

  3. #3
    MC_Merc
    Guest
    cool, very emotional, flow couldve been better.

    now hit my shit up

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by MC_Merc
    cool, very emotional, flow couldve been better.

    now hit my shit up
    Yeah, I'm still new to this. I do more of singing song types of things mainly, and ok, I'll check it out.

  5. #5
    Cizor
    Guest
    decent open mic...the structure was good and the flow was ok...and you could feel the emotion in this but it wasnt too hott....use better vocab and wordplay/multies and your verses will be better...(just an opinion)

    ~!1!~

  6. #6
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    Ha, I was posting it for your opinions, so don't worry if you criticize it. I like it when I get criticism, it makes you get better.

  7. #7
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    I'd actually like credz opinion on this. So, if you see this tell me what you think, because I've got respect for you.

  8. #8
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    very basic structure... could of used some word play. other than that the message was good the image was there and the fact that its trues a plus and you could make a story of it but i guess all the negitives were substituted for the message...

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