My future: heaven or hell?

[gotaloveforrap]

As I wake up just like every other day/
a beautiful morning in May, wonderin whats on tap for today/
I enter the shower in my huge ass home/
i start to hear the phone, but i cant get it, im wonderin y im alone/
im rich and famous, but i still cant get a wife/
what is it they dont like, i have the wonderful dream life/
i go to my car but i forgot my key for bein the successor/
im startin to realize my life is lesser, so i went over and grabbed my glock off the dresser/
I realized my life is goin down the wrong path/
entered my car to see my other half, the only other person who matteed do the math/
i entered th studio to visit the rest of my crew/
it consisted of me and jeremy who needs a few, grabbed the mic andexited my life/
so yea i recorded hits but my life was only half filled/
my life was dirty water needed to be distilled, i had enemies but i never wanted to get killed/
i walked back out of the door when i was done/
i enjoyed rapping, i had loads of fun, i walked to my car and guy was waitin for me wit a gun/
i was scared shit less now that i was facin doom/
i hoped my life wouldnt end soon, i went for my glock but his gun explodd wit a BOOM/
i awaked with a start cause it was all a dream/
i still had no crew, no team, nothin had been what it had seemed/
when im famous i wont get killed, but continually spit ether/
ima find a crew and be the leader, and im goin to keep spittin till i hear my shit comin out of the speaker

[Fatal D]

yo that shit was iight it has quality and quality.
respect
.................D

[noncentz]

yo ill drop i never read your stuff but now that i have i wil;l be looking for more no doubt twin

[Geologists]

yeh im agreeing with word perfect on this, this was an ill drop, nice stuff, your vocab and ryhme is safe, nice work.

Favorite Lines:

As I wake up just like every other day/
a beautiful morning in May, wonderin whats on tap for today/
I enter the shower in my huge ass home/
i start to hear the phone, but i cant get it, im wonderin y im alone/
im rich and famous, but i still cant get a wife/
what is it they dont like, i have the wonderful dream life/
i go to my car but i forgot my key for bein the successor/
im startin to realize my life is lesser, so i went over and grabbed my glock off the dresser/

That was a crazy introduction, off the mic dawg..

Peace. Geo.

[Joebird]

didnt like how you ended it. sorry. i used to end all my storys in elementary school like that. i know you can do better. aside from that it was pretty good.

"my life was dirty water needed to be distilled" <-Fav. line.

[sILLable]

i thought this was a pretty ill,good imagry,aiight vocab,good structure,nicely laid out,a good topic,and you stayed on point,it had some tight twists in it.keep spittin.~1~

[Fazt Klikkz]

I think this verse was pretty sick, You used aspects of your life, thats what I like to see in verses. Well the vocabulary was broadly used and the Multis were pretty Ill. You had everything in there, but I would still say It need some Working on.

But overall, this verse was a good post, I'd like to see some more of this out of you. You have true Talent.

I realized my life is goin down the wrong path/
entered my car to see my other half, the only other person who matteed do the math/
i entered th studio to visit the rest of my crew/
it consisted of me and jeremy who needs a few, grabbed the mic andexited my life/
so yea i recorded hits but my life was only half filled/
my life was dirty water needed to be distilled, i had enemies but i never wanted to get killed/

Those are the Lines I liked out of this verse.

[gotaloveforrap]

^^^thanx for postin, i appreciate that. keep em comin

peace.....

[adversary]

didnt like it at all...
(no offense)
but try 2 work on wordplay, and structure

[gotaloveforrap]

yo does anyone else have somethin to say bout this? im just lookin for feedback, so hook me up please.

[Incineratedrose]

this was ill.. and when i mean ill i mean good.. STAY UP

[DALC]

I thought this was pretty good-
i think you could up the wordplay alittle bit though
prolly throw in a dash more vocabulary also