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Thread: 9/11

  1. #1
    Newbie
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    9/11

    9/11
    WRITTEN BY TIMELESS.


    September 11th 2001 it said on the calendar where I live and dwell
    This day of death, soon will collapse and fall to the depths of hell.
    I left for work, I was in a happy mood as the day started really fine
    Kissed my girlfriend, never knowing this would be for the last time.
    Drove to my grave and parked the car, put the meter set for 8 hours
    I then quickly looked at death, what stared back was the twin towers.
    Got to the elevator, the floor from where I’d fall was the floor 2436
    Got to my desk opened up my star bucks coffee and my eat twix.
    Started typing a letter, the words on the page would never be read
    Instead it was like return to sender, but the sender would soon be dead.
    The morning went slowly, as I felt quite sick from the night before
    I got drunk last night, this is what I worried bout getting FIRED for.
    Suddenly my world shock, rocked me to my soul and off my feet
    Suddenly there were Tables flying, telephones, fax paper and seats.
    The shaking stopped, we said we never seen a earthquake that great
    Walked to the broken windows looked down on hell and our fate.
    The fire stared though our souls, as people got confused and panicked
    We barely even got to the stairs, before the second aircraft hit.
    Flung off my feet for the second time, this time hitting my face
    Blood poured from my nose but I couldn’t stop, needed out of this place.
    We went down 14 flights of stairs, but due to fire we’d have to go back
    There would be no way out for us, death had us exposed and trapped.
    The fire raged floor to floor finally we hit the end and only had one
    I Thought about my life and what I’d achieved and stuff I’d done
    Walked toward the window, staring to the dots of buildings below
    Wished my girlfriend would understand, fire is not how I want to go.
    One last look at the inferno the hounded us, and all the other people
    Jumped head first toward my concrete grave, I fall from heaven in freefall
    As I start to progress ever Closer and closer toward the ground
    I begin to start spinning , twisting around , falling down
    Suddenly I opened my eyes again to kissing my girlfriend
    shit I had day dreamed all that bout seeing my tragic end
    I had a bad feeling, so I decided not to go to work from where I was hired
    But my boss wouldn’t except that, soon they would all be fired.


    R.I.P


    VOTED ON
    PINICAL AND CREDZ PIECE - CHECK IT OUT (DOPENESS)
    Last edited by Timeless.; June 14th, 2004 at 02:01 PM
    Just One More Chance. Please

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! versatility's Avatar
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    yo dat was deep but not judgin u or nothin but i woulda appreciated sumthin more recent..but hey..that was very articulate and i liked it so keep em' comin....

  3. #3
    Banned
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    you need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  4. #4
    Lets Go GIANTS!! Exculptifactoriusness's Avatar
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    Awards 75+ Wins
    i find it funny that he posted it on 9:11 Am

    Lol anyways this was a good peace..hope nobody was injured in your fasmily on that day and you just felt like writing this...

  5. #5
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Awards Haiku Season Champion
    Holy shit, Timeless, this was good. This is the best I have read from you, and it is ironic that you posted it at that time^. The whole thing was put well through improved imagery, but the topic was somewhat played out. You quickly made me re-think that with the dope twist at the end. Flow was good, same with metaphors and everything was. I liked how you rhymed "people" with "freefall". I think this should be nominated.
    can I kick it?

  6. #6
    Ill..
    Guest
    thanks guys.......... credz working on the replys now!!

  7. #7
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    ^^ shut up, but yea i am doing the replys!! and thanks for the comments guys
    Just One More Chance. Please

  8. #8
    . Token's Avatar
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    Awards Golden Glove Champion LLL HOF 50+ Wins
    Decent piece, it was real deep so i enjoyed it. I love reading 9/11 reality Open Mics, good work. Keep 'em coming.

  9. #9
    Newbie
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    wow thanks token, i love it when i get vet praise uppin......................
    Just One More Chance. Please

  10. #10
    Original Outlaw Domain 9's Avatar
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    too late with those replies... send them to me via PM or to Credz to have this reopened

    pz
    Artificial Intelligence
    *~P.U.R.E.~*
    Can't Fuck With Old School



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    Damn Girl!

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