Illegalness vs. E-MORTAL

[And Death]

10 lines.

Due 30 mins after check-in (if verse isn't done in 30 min after your check-in it's a D'q).

Regular rules.

[gizzard]

hey main all battle your trick ass frount and center and all spit first because buddys not commin

[Illegalness]

This bitch thinks he [destroyin] the {"LEGEND-KILLER"}//
Truth is im just [deployin] missles on this {PRETEND-THRILLER}//
I aint even gtta come with [nines] to shatter [spines] dog im {INVISIBLE}//
Connect your [lines] to [dimes] so they shine and can be {VISIBLE}//
U were in the wrong to except this match cuz u just "desert" after {BEATIN-DRAMA}//
The only pain you feel are my fists because your {SEEIN-TRAUMA}//
Like an ulser inside your body my acidic spit {BURNS-ur-TISSUE}//
Ur brain thinks i cant produce heat? but Eminent look at ur frame i left it with an {ISSUE}//
When this battle is over u'll be kissin my feat sayin "GOD" {BLESS-YOU}//
Dog your life is {TRULY-THROUGH} i slit ur skin untill the blood dripped to your {SHOE'S}//

[And Death]

Okay.

Checking in.

[And Death]

You're bound to meet The End...upon comin to this board
Writin ya verse above the knob...don't make it a-doored
Only wanna see your name...as the header on a tombstone
Best lines this guy has...are hanging off his telephone
Illegalness knows he is wack...gets clowned all over RB
He can't even stand himself...

Can Sumbody STOP ME!

Must practice juggling...cuz your balls haven't dropped
Your verse is like puberty...i was glad when it stopped
This is not a business meeting...so there'll be no ties
Only pupils at your battles...are the ones in your eyes

[Jonezy]

ill - some ok punches and good multis in ya verse, but ya structure was wack and why use all the capitals and {])'#' its all bullshit and it makes ur verse wack, people can see the multis and wordplay anyway.

E - a good strong verse IMO, some good punches and decent personals that finished him, flow was pretty good aswell, and your structure was good all lines were even which made it decent, you came alot harder and punches were more direct. good verse

VOTE - E MORTAL

[Karma `Shootya]

ahah...
aight...
illegalness..not bad - i would say tho to take out all those '//' and {] baloney - and caps are really annoying to read...verse wise tho it wasnt terrible...work on clever pucnehs...your at least attacking your opponent...but look wat E-MORTAL does...

EMORTAL...yo your verse had me dying...every line had me laughin...the opener was halarious - telephone line...a really good vers IMO...

so vote : EMORTAL

...now poll vote guy!

Vote disqualified for suspected d/r. - Ambiguous

[Cannabarz]

both wack

iLL - never came widdit proper, ur whole verse wuz fukkin wack garbage, u didn't spit anything nice. u got a fuked up structure and a fukked up rhyme scheme. plain garbage, terrible shit. their wuz nothin amusin bout what u spat in that.

E - ur structure wuz nice ........................................that's it. nothing stood out n u neva came widdit proper' u need to elevate, u did a little here and there punchin but u never really came widdit. that's what u lacked.

vote - E

[And Death]

Uppin. 1.

[And Death]

Uppin. 2.

[RealiM]

heya..

ill..

This bitch thinks he [destroyin] the {"LEGEND-KILLER"}//
Truth is im just [deployin] missles on this {PRETEND-THRILLER}//
woah, wack structure... weak punch

I aint even gtta come with [nines] to shatter [spines] dog im {INVISIBLE}//
Connect your [lines] to [dimes] so they shine and can be {VISIBLE}//
weak, take all that bs outa ur lines

U were in the wrong to except this match cuz u just "desert" after {BEATIN-DRAMA}//
The only pain you feel are my fists because your {SEEIN-TRAUMA}//
weak punch, weak bar, weak everything

Like an ulser inside your body my acidic spit {BURNS-ur-TISSUE}//
Ur brain thinks i cant produce heat? but Eminent look at ur frame i left it with an {ISSUE}//
that was alright... i hate reading it though

When this battle is over u'll be kissin my feat sayin "GOD" {BLESS-YOU}//
Dog your life is {TRULY-THROUGH} i slit ur skin untill the blood dripped to your {SHOE'S}//
horrible finisher..
fix ur structure, quick

overall 3/10

mortal..

You're bound to meet The End...upon comin to this board
Writin ya verse above the knob...don't make it a-doored
weak punch, weak opener

Only wanna see your name...as the header on a tombstone
Best lines this guy has...are hanging off his telephone
played, weak

Illegalness knows he is wack...gets clowned all over RB
He can't even stand himself...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Illegalness
Can Sumbody STOP ME!
average


Must practice juggling...cuz your balls haven't dropped
Your verse is like puberty...i was glad when it stopped
lol, that was pretty good

This is not a business meeting...so there'll be no ties
Only pupils at your battles...are the ones in your eyes
weak finisher, doesnt matter though

overall 5/10.. work on punches..

hit up my battle..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...72#post1466572

v/emortal

[And Death]

Uppin. 3.

[And Death]

Uppin. 4.

Vote and leave a link.

[And Death]

Last uppin. Someone hit this up.

[sabotage]

Hmm arite this was a one sided battle

Illegalness you needah come at it harder and think your lines through. also illegalness we dont need you to bracket your multis and rhyming words... believe me... ill you need to work on alot. punches, personals, flow, structure, delivery.. the whole 9 yards... i wont even begin... check out the elevating forum in the RB help section on text battling... it'll help you out. E MORTAL you came pretty classy in this one. I enjoyed reading your verse. Solid structure. Flow was tight. You were pretty creative. Your lines were funny at times. Punches were pretty dope but no personals used.. ( as if u needed them ). You had a good opener and a good closer which pretty much gave you the win on this one. Good verse E-MORTAL! Props 2 both. Peace

Vote- E MORTAL