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Thread: School

  1. #1
    I.J.L נєм's Avatar
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    School

    Little summit summit

    School
    Being bored stiff as if i was dead
    Clouds of sleep consume all around my head..
    We must sit through this shit as school
    On our books we sleep think of girl's and drool..
    Not to mention the sickening canteen food
    Strange with some mysterious colours and ooz..
    You think you know just what you're eating
    But you can still hear it's heart is heavily beating..
    They took away our footballs leaving us no fun
    Field trips they were shit box factory school's done..
    Now for everything hey make us pay
    I know there must be a better way..
    They wonder why we can not sit hear and learn
    We want real food which dosen't lie in your mouth and burn..
    Friends and trips and f*ck all interesting things
    Not World War II memories or Spitfire wings..
    Now I must go from this place my punishment is out
    I have left so have no more need to block teachers out..
    That funny huming which they call a bell
    Is telling me I can finaly break out and leave this hell..


    1.
    2.

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    nice drop man very nice. good imagery and wordplay, vocab was alright and some good multi's. loved the imagery in this though and it flowed really well. you presented this very well. keep droppin. peace.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

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    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

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    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  3. #3
    Genocide21
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    i really enjoyed this verse.found it very interesting.i felt the imagination of you.I get bored of school also.It is good cause you learn,but only gurls...ONLY GURLS...I REALly like them...guess thats why i like skoo...otherwise...boring...man...got to give u props for this verse...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130500

    check this out...its mine in Open Mic.

  4. #4
    I.J.L נєм's Avatar
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    w00t a hole 2 reply's thanx men..

  5. #5
    siCCz
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    LMFAO!!!.. this is a tight drop, reminds me almost exactly of a piece i wrote my first freshman year lol... it's funny, cuz there's only 2 lines that were different lol... i mean, everything wuz worded differently, but basically tha same shit, if i can find it ill show it to you lol...

    but yes, nice flow, vocab, structure everything...

    and i agree, tha only thing school is good for is THA FEMALES!!! lol...

    i useta write songs, tagg (grafitti), meet girls, and sleep in school lol.. and that wuz only when i felt like going lol...

    but nice drop homie, keep up tha good work.

    overall - 8/10... for truth!!!, imagery, and then all tha schematics of a good verse.

    pz

  6. #6
    King of Iron Fist! sabotage's Avatar
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    YO this was a pretty damn good verse. At first you seemed kinda vauge and the words you chose to use were kinda off. Half way through the verse you really started to pick up with good imagery and worplay. I enjoyed this read because it was pretty creative and something that probably a lot of people on this site can relate to. Your vocab was good man but can always be sharpened. GOod verse homey i enjoyed it.

    peace

  7. #7
    I.J.L נєм's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by siCCz
    LMFAO!!!.. this is a tight drop, reminds me almost exactly of a piece i wrote my first freshman year lol... it's funny, cuz there's only 2 lines that were different lol... i mean, everything wuz worded differently, but basically tha same shit, if i can find it ill show it to you lol...

    but yes, nice flow, vocab, structure everything...

    and i agree, tha only thing school is good for is THA FEMALES!!! lol...

    i useta write songs, tagg (grafitti), meet girls, and sleep in school lol.. and that wuz only when i felt like going lol...

    but nice drop homie, keep up tha good work.

    overall - 8/10... for truth!!!, imagery, and then all tha schematics of a good verse.

    pz
    Thanx man but i hope your not saying that i bit from you seriously

  8. #8
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
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    yeah i already have an open mic called school. but nice drop
    good matas

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  9. #9
    I.J.L נєм's Avatar
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    i believe this needs uppin...


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  10. #10
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    that was alright.. i dont liek the topic school.. because this was a little boring but .. whatever it was good all the same...
    MondoThugs.

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    Meta. Convicts

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  11. #11
    Tha Burnin Sensation 2hot2handle's Avatar
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    good structure. use better rhymes man. it makes sense but u gotta have a better wordplay. U stayed ont topic and that was good. I hate school also. That was a true piece. keep it up.

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    "I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

    - Martin Luther King Jr.


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    View this from last year^

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Miss_Jess's Avatar
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    Rhymin could be slightly better like in this one:

    Now I must go from this place my punishment is out
    I have left so have no more need to block teachers out..


    But overall nice piece cuz i could really relate to this, i've got at least 2 more years at skool so i know what you're talkin 'bout Vocab,flow,...were pretty good!

    Lots of love, Jess -x-x-x-

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