He Says, She Say feat Dimez

[LM]

LM
I looked into yours eye's, I made you cry
Oh why did I even try to deciet and lie
My life would be screwed if I ever lost you
I abused the trust with a girl I barely knew
Who woulda thought it could get to this
It's hit and miss, a troublesome relationship
This shit is all my fault, I hate all this pain
I'm goin insane, please can we just try again
I got it all to gain, coz now I've lost it all
I was with you flyin, now I've started to fall
You dont even call, can we sort this out
We're adults, no need to scream and shout
I about to crack, please can you forgive me
So we can return to smiles and laugh happily

Dimez
Missin’ me after everything you’ve put me through ….?
Think that this can be talked out and forgotten too …...
What would you do to take back the tears and the pain?
Whats it to you? I just can’t go through this ever again
Did you expect to act the way you did and not loose me
gain my love back…? how can you make it up to me
Won’t argue, handling this situation with maturity...
This side of you is there but hidden in obscurity …
I may forgive you but it sure is hard to forget
…..Can’t jump back into a relationship just yet
If we were to start over it would hafta be youthful
Next time you look into my eyes please be truthful
Everyone makes mistakes..and yes , its real hard . .
To maintain a relationship when ur heart is scarred




http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...94#post1401094

[The Realist]

LM...
nice ability to keep the rhyme scheme..it definetly helped the flow of the piece that way...id definetly advise upping the vocab on this..not that you didnt get your point across, just that it seemed to be too many 2-3 sylabul words..kinda dumbs down what your saying.

I'm goin insane, please can we just try again
I got it all to gain, coz now I've lost it all

id advise against using again-gain as a rhyme..it honestly is almost the same as using the same word twice. Dont think you did a bad job on this, just pointing out a few places to help you out

Dimez...
Hey, nice emotion on this..good use of words, but still simple in the lack of wordplay area...try using a word out of context to really get your point across...

What would you do to take back the tears and the pain?
Whats it to you? I just can’t go through this ever again
Did you expect to act the way you did and not loose me
gain my love back…? how can you make it up to me

like i said to LM, dont use a pain-again rhyme...rather simple..and defienlty dont rhyme me 2 times, if the word in front is not rhymed..thats like an easy way out.

Overall, good collab by both...if you guys tied in both verses to the same plot it could have been better than the sum of its parts.

if you would be so kind, i have an OM floating around named 'stress of life'...be happy to get your opinion on that

[LM]

Ok that TR......I'll hit yours up soon.

Uppin for more

[Q.S]

Thanx Tr... (baby) lol


anyways


more replies...

[LM]

Uppin

[Big Kountry]

man i like this piece i felt the emotion put in it and it was hot man you to sould do some more calbos together

[LM]

Uppin

[Allen McGregor]

hey not fuckin bad... this was pretty slick... LM not bad... good shit... Yana... kinda bite my style but thats cool... pretty good piece...

[nolonger]

stile was coo.......a nice topic here
you 2 in love lol........so lm drop'd
dope like the rly old lm i remember
flow was dope..and short but sweet
i really like'd this...my girl..dimez nice
v nice not as good as lm in my opinion
but very good view here..flow'd coo
and setup was dope....good shit
nice drop you 2 dopeness...keep at it

[LM]

Uppin

[Genocide21]

this verse was pretty tight...you must listen to lots of music...I could sense emotion here...it was pretty dam good...I must commend you....it was good.....NICE JOB.....
keep working on raps...good

[Regret]

very original.. both came flawless.. but some of the rhymes were real basic.. bleh neways this is a very good piece i think.. and yall should collab more.. u two are a good combo!

[LM]

Uppin again....

More feedback please

['PercepTion']

LM:
You had good flow, consistent & fluent. It
also had some nice internals in there, but it
was very simplistic, i was expected some
more vocab in this, and your rhyming abilities
seemed to be restricted for some reason. But
you had some nice emotion and it panned out
pretty well.

Dimez:
Nice flow, it was very fluent and rolled off my
tounge[sp?] almost. You had slightly more of
a complex feel to this, your vocab was better
and it just seemed to be more depthful that LM's.
Nice emotion and a nice ending to it, you came
strong.

was a nice read, nothin' spectacular or anything,
but still, it was good...."3.8/5.

hit my Roses piece up plz...