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Thread: Revolution again.

  1. May 6th, 2004, 02:46 AM #1
    Forlorn
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    Revolution again.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=127354&page=2

    Revolution Again


    The new Kingdom arose of somewhat of a bodybag shortage
    We lost and won some, got shot, A flashing black/white montage
    A downloadable cause, but none the less an untangble meaning
    Not even a slight pause, but i guess we did try to do some healing
    The feeling was strong, as we rode forth against the democrasy
    The weapon was a bomb, to stop all this constant hiphopcrisy
    A Red army, the sickle the communist youth, fighting for peace
    Crying Dissarming, a continuing growth, hoping for some lease
    We are downloading a cause, just to stop this corporate takeover
    We are founding a war, to give the ugly face of greed a makeover
    Were rebelling just by bootlegging but unlike them were not eating
    Cos' there not selling, deeper they are digging, but there not defeating
    I tye myself to my own death, Just so that i can die for a purpose
    I kidnap a suit, watch his step, Cos the youth has become lifeless.
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  2. May 6th, 2004, 04:26 AM #2
    Ace of Aces
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    the best thing about this was what it was about. the flow seemed a bit stretched in places but it was nice either way. the structure was perfect and the vocab was suitable for this kind of topic. the imagery was good in this, even though this isn't really a unique topic.

    We are downloading a cause, just to stop this corporate takeover
    We are founding a war, to give the ugly face of greed a makeover

    ^my fav. 2 lines. great personifation in that. thats another thing i enjoyed about this piece was your metas. props on that man. i haven't your stuff much before but i'll be sure to. i enjoyed this. keep writing.

    hit this up in return plz:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=127796

    thanx.
    pz
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  3. May 9th, 2004, 10:27 PM #3
    Forlorn
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  4. May 9th, 2004, 11:29 PM #4
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    upping yo.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
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  5. May 11th, 2004, 03:00 AM #5
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  6. May 11th, 2004, 08:30 PM #6
    Forlorn
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    This is fucking gay. Can i have one reply Please
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  7. May 13th, 2004, 03:25 AM #7
    Prince Adem
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    I liked your lyrics alot this time... excellent vocab, fit in perfectly with the theme of the piece... You used some decent internals and it all came out reading authentic... I liked the topic you chose, and you touched on some deep issues in your writing... I also thought the twist at the end of your piece was good

    What I didn't like was the flow... it was kinda off in a few places, but it didn't really mess with the piece as a whole, just made it a little harder to get a feel for it...

    I also thought you could've taken this story a bit deeper, but it was nice nonetheless... keep it up Emotion your improving with each piece you post
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  8. May 14th, 2004, 08:43 AM #8
    Forlorn
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  9. May 14th, 2004, 01:00 PM #9
    Thrust
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    good job my buddy emotion..short n sweet how i usually like them...
    good take on the topic here..i liked the approach and delivery you gave it
    flowed basically which i don't mind...content was decent also...
    vocab good, imagry good, but the story line is what really got me...

    props
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  10. May 15th, 2004, 04:04 AM #10
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  11. May 16th, 2004, 05:39 AM #11
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  12. May 16th, 2004, 06:16 AM #12
    GroundZero
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    shit was hot visually....mechanically could use some work, but the idea behind it and the way you crafted it together was impressive.....like they said, the flow kinda stretched and didnt meet up some, but its good shit...good shit...
    i like some shit that comes out big in a little piece of writing....

    you ever give any thought to spoken word poetry??? thats what this reminds me of.....

    stay up...

    PEACE AND ELEVATION
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  13. May 16th, 2004, 06:40 AM #13
    Forlorn
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    cheers upping
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  14. May 18th, 2004, 02:51 AM #14
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