Sloppy love

[ThAOnEFeMaLEe]

this sloppy love of mine
i rush into too fast
now im left with feelings made of glass
too fragile, yet so beautiful to break.
but it seems that thats a chance ill take
feelings seming to be mutual tend to make me fall
i fall too quick too willingly and i give my all
trust is something that needs a brushing off of dust
because i cant keep falling nd breaking for simple lust
i guess im mislead i dont get enough
and i use these misconceptions to lead on when times get rough
i linger far too long, longer then expected
misled by feelings,shulda follwed my mind, so they choose my heart to be elected
i pretend it dont bother me, but in the soul im a sucker for the lies,
i play the games nd end up losing, in the end its my heart that cries
everynite it sings the same old blues,
about how its owner need to decide how to choose
ill never give up on love though, not a risk ill take
cuz soon ill fall in love the right way and its the right choice ill make

[Civilized Rebel]

I notice, the only thing that needs tweaking is the rhymes. While nothing wrong with the rhymes themselves, it's good to be able to smooth them over to make them flow better. Try not having it be so forced. (On the other hand, it's by making them smooth that I myself can't ever finish a single line any more. So you may not want to listen to me.)

Anyway, as for the peice. It's name made me think of bukkake. If you don't know what bukkake is, do yourself a favor and never find out. I was thinking that this was a percision peice that, while not dripping of emotion, pin points the parts that pander your perrenial emotions and pursues to part them quite perfectly. So much respect for that.

~Shalom~