User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: School

  1. #1
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14

    School

    Wake up at 6:30 to have a shower//
    messed up i gotta be awake at this hour//
    sit at my table eat my breakfest//
    get in the ride let me head meet the headrest//
    Arrive in town for another day at school//
    ready to watch fuckers act hard and break the rules//
    I alwasy get their early so i wait till the bell rings//
    highschools the place to garner shit and sell things//
    Go to english its my first class/
    listen to illiterate teachers tell me my words clash//
    "IS your mind behind a metal door//
    your looking at a question mark and tell me its a metaphor//
    Times up the class is done for good //
    either the teacher didnt hear the bell or she misunderstood/
    I guesse shes getting old frail and dated//
    its not her fault but students feel alienated//
    the class average drops below the door/
    and parents go to war//
    theirs kids failing they wanna know the score//
    be in control and hold the sword//
    and i listen to this gross discord//
    I go to break, and old mistake//
    I eat junk food and feel sick//
    and real quick my stomachs rotating on a steel spit//
    Look over to see the headclan talking//
    IN highschool if you piss em off your a dead man walking//
    wether its an out of fashsion shirt or a red tan stalking//
    If highschool doesnt matter//
    why do kids commit suicide with a concunsive shatter//
    over stuff people say and do//
    look theres a lame ass crew//
    looking for sacred places to bring they spray cans too//
    When your labbeled you cant act like everydays brand new//
    people need a damn clue//
    why be good when evil understands you//
    Sometime i wish everyday of schools the last day//
    Its like tv show as i watch everyones acts play//
    What type of place is it when you cant talk the way you were raised to talk//
    but i guesse your accepted as long as you wear fubu and praise tupac//
    go back to the days you though that being nice was cool//
    now you wearing ice to school//
    and forgetting what your parents said//
    with a hairless haid or a mohawk//
    "FINE" revolt but dont go coke dawg//
    Everything you aim for in life is a false hope//
    climbing walls of hypcrysy is a tall slope//
    schooling is neccessary to making lots of money//
    but what your soul knows can put you in the thoughts of somebody//
    Think about how a nuns money goes to christ//
    learning compassion is something you can hold for life//
    damn i day dreaming in math class//
    but i laugh last cuz i supassed you hald assed cats//
    Are you people anything without your social//
    first take away friends who play you like a poker hiest//
    Snap to attention my god the days done//
    shouldi change my ways or let the race run//

    Plz kid go home be yourself wit your dad or mom play at pool//
    at least you can act that way till your next day at school//



    Feeback plz


    feeback i left-here
    Last edited by Stryk9; May 7th, 2004 at 03:00 PM

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    Banned Ace of Aces's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Home
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,767
    Battle Record
    44-6
    nice job on this man. haven't read your stuff in awhile. anyway, here's my favorite part:

    the class average drops below the door/
    and parents go to war//
    theirs kids failing they wanna know the score//
    be in control and hold the sword//
    and i listen to this gross discord

    ^nice multies you got lined up there. real ill flow. i was feeling this piece. i can basically relate to the entire thing, except for the fact that i wake up at 5 am instead. but other then that, this was a real nice piece. i don't know if i coulda done it better myself. you basically covered all aspects of school in there. props on that man. real nice. this was an interesting read. kept me up. keep writing yo.

    hit this up in return plz:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=127796

    thanks.

    peace

  3. #3
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14
    Thx for the feeback any contructive criticism or feeback is welcome

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave a link to a open mic that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thank You My Good Man!

  5. #5
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    your actual story was decent, but you came with a very simplistic approach... and id work on your syllable count a bit too... also you lacked in ther vocab area, its not a necessity but it helps add to the the read... all in all liked the story, relatable, well it was when i went to school, namy years ago..lol.... jus work on the execution some.... one..
    ... hit my latest plz
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  6. #6
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14
    thx for feeback

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. Old School RB
    By DJ STYLZ in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: November 10th, 2008, 10:49 AM
  2. So my school
    By Ryan in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: May 20th, 2008, 03:37 PM
  3. How's school going for everyone?
    By Split in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: August 24th, 2006, 12:00 AM
  4. No School
    By Mike G. in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: December 9th, 2005, 05:41 PM
  5. school???
    By conquistador in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 91
    Last Post: June 15th, 2004, 03:26 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •