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Thread: Anthem Finished

  1. February 17th, 2004, 10:10 PM #1
    Masahiko.
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    Anthem Finished

    it wasnt finished before.. hit this up tho

    [Intro]
    I Speak These Words Because This Is Me..

    [Hook]
    I Know It's Hard
    To Step In A Kid's Body With A Mind Of A Man
    I Know It's Hard
    But God Give Me Hope.. A Sign Of A Plan
    I Know It's Hard
    To Keep Away Your Skills A Overflowing Wanigan
    I Know It's Hard
    But These Are My Struggles And I Will Conquer Them


    My Song My Athem Compressed With Emotion
    All Those Past Years Did It Have A Different Notion
    Why Fight For Somthing Not There.. I Gotta Stay Focused
    Please Believe.. I'd Rather State This Motion
    Sealed Within My Soul, I Dont Hold The Answer
    My Uncle Died When I Was 10.. No Not From Cancer
    Suicide...... His Thought Of Life Was Rancor
    I Still Stay With My Pen and Paper.. My Deadliest Weapon
    I Rep My Asian Backround.. Pride Till Death Kid
    My Life Normal, But Consolidated With Conflicts
    I'm A Rebel, A Hero No I Cant Let This Harm Stick
    Pain Sorrow and Hate All Together Condensed
    Math Im X......... The Way I Never Stay Constant
    I'm Never Noticed Matter A Fact Im Impersonal
    Nobody Knows Or Cares And That's The Worst Of All
    First Born........ Does This Mean Im First To Fall
    Am I Cursed........ Or Is Everyone's Life Ill-Fated
    If I Ever Have A Chance To Make A Difference I Will State It
    This Is My Song, My Anthem, In Epic Porportions
    I Speak The Truth Im Not Fake I Will Inform This
    This Is Me, My Rules........... I Will Inforce This........
    Please Believe

    [Hook]
    I Know It's Hard
    To Step In A Kid's Body With A Mind Of A Man
    I Know It's Hard
    But God Give Me Hope.. A Sign Of A Plan
    I Know It's Hard
    To Keep Away Your Skills A Overflowing Wanigan
    I Know It's Hard
    But These Are My Struggles And I Will Conquer Them



    Blacks Complain Abot Discriminating Whites
    Yet They Do It Everytime We Pick Up A Mic
    Do They Think Its Funny Or They Picking a Fight?
    No This Asian Aint Hatin So Face It
    Didnt You Know 7/10 Blacks Are Racist
    Not All, So Dont Get It Twisted Or Bent Man
    I Have No Room To Hate Love Is What I Sent Man
    But Is It Me Or Does It Seem Im Not Virtous
    No Excuses Because I Wont Exert To Fuss
    I'm Good In My Heart So I Will Make Sure You Trust
    Saying I'm All Good Would Be Making It So Simplistic
    I Got My Own Problems Deal With Yours, Go Fix It
    Deal With Both? Man Be REalistic
    My Dream.. I Missed It, Good Bye I Kissed It
    I'm Pretty Much Neglected And Never Respected
    I'm Trying To Get But Its Less Then Expected
    But Its Hard To Be, Im Not Conceded
    My Hopes And Dreams? They Pretty Much Depleted
    My Song, My Anthem, So Please Be Seated
    I Try My Best In Life But End Up In Heart Brakes
    As I Speak My Jaw Shakes,.....
    ...........Ya Know What Kinda Toll This Song Takes?
    Please Believe

    [Hook]
    I Know It's Hard
    To Step In A Kid's Body With A Mind Of A Man
    I Know It's Hard
    But God Give Me Hope.. A Sign Of A Plan
    I Know It's Hard
    To Keep Away Your Skills A Overflowing Wanigan
    I Know It's Hard
    But These Are My Struggles And I Will Conquer Them

    [Outro]
    I Know It's Hard
    I Know It's Hard
    I Know It's Hard
    The Legion

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  2. February 18th, 2004, 12:14 AM #2
    Masahiko.
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    this is dope!
    The Legion

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  3. February 18th, 2004, 12:17 AM #3
    Bottom Line
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    Nice piece. I didn't expect this. Nice Imagery, flow, and vocab.

    7.5/10

    drop feedback on my piece:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115121
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  4. February 18th, 2004, 12:20 AM #4
    Masahiko.
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    damn i thought this shit was conserversial... alot of my lyrics should of brought up questions.. did you really read it?
    The Legion

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  5. February 18th, 2004, 01:14 AM #5
    SmokaJoka
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    niceness here.....very rarely do i reply to an open mic....but this deserves some recognition.....u had nice flow and multis......good vocab....and showed great emotion, imagery, and concepts of thought.....

    Best Line Of Verse:
    Originally Posted by TiLLEyEDiE
    Blacks Complain Abot Discriminating Whites
    Yet They Do It Everytime We Pick Up A Mic
    Do They Think Its Funny Or They Picking a Fight?
    No This Asian Aint Hatin So Face It
    Didnt You Know 7/10 Blacks Are Racist
    Not All, So Dont Get It Twisted Or Bent Man
    I Have No Room To Hate Love Is What I Sent Man
    ^nice thoughtful questions and facts.....good emotion...and good to see pride in ur race...

    Key:
    poor = 1
    ok = 2
    good = 3
    very good = 4
    excellent = 5

    BREAKDOWN
    Emotion - Very Good
    Multis - Good
    Vocab - Very Good
    Concepts - Excellent
    Resources - Excellent
    Flow - Very Good
    RhymeScheme - Excellent
    Overall - very good drop without a doubt.......ur hook was emotional.....ur verses showed thought and good points and good questions....

    Rating
    9/10

    peace

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  6. February 18th, 2004, 01:17 AM #6
    Laureate
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    Wow O valiant leader..first time I seen you post anywhere besides battles...whats next...*gasp* a cypher? lol

    Annnnnyway....Tilleyedie..Much respect dawg..This shit was ill..Vocab and imagry was oof da hook..also a good peice cause it got me thinkin about what you were stating and that takes doin lol. Dope vocab and wordplay..Keep at it bro
    A few achievements here and there

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  7. February 18th, 2004, 05:11 PM #7
    Masahiko.
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    up for feedback!
    The Legion

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  8. February 18th, 2004, 06:19 PM #8
    Mike D
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    good job man

    hey man this was really good and so was the first one
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  9. February 18th, 2004, 06:27 PM #9
    FreeThinker
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    That was very good man . emotional stuff i rated it. You came good in all aspects and killed it with emotions. Like Smoka quoted those few lines were fucken nice man . What can i say .. it was a very dope piece... keep it up

    plz return the fev if u can
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115041
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  10. February 18th, 2004, 06:47 PM #10
    Throwaway123
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    This was good, very emotional, only thing is your mind set would wander off a bit during the piece, you'd bring up a good point but then come back with some stupid line to ruin it. Your flow was alright. This was a pretty good piece, and yes like smoka said, those were some of the best lines..

    hit me back
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115266
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  11. February 18th, 2004, 10:31 PM #11
    XNottyxBabeX
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    ricardo!! boi i'll tell you like i tol you before.. dys was da best shyt ive ever seen you ryt! i jus luv how is was so full of your emotions and you really did a good job wit puttin it togetha to be a very hard hittin piece. i tol ya at skoo dat you myt bring up sum controversy wit those fisrt few lines in yo second verse, but i like how you put them up hurr neways regaurdless of wut ppl myt say cuz they really do make ya think ... you should post more shyt in tha open mic section cuz boi i no you got sum good shyt that you have ritten...

    luv ya
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  12. February 19th, 2004, 07:34 PM #12
    Masahiko.
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    up it
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  13. May 4th, 2004, 05:55 PM #13
    Masahiko.
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