Thank you for that feedback, much appreciated.
This is my old structure that I used all the time.
I started experimenting with others.
Now im back to my favourite one.
.
Surely this should be nominated for something.
I think it deserves it.
.
Up..
.. Peace.
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keep this style^^^^
nice flow and feeling
the vocab was aight
kep your messgae through the whole thing
nice drop
ORIGINAL BADASS
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A very nice piece, good flow thought the layout made it a bit diffficult to read. You choice of wording conveyed your message really well and your imagery worked well
Too many good lines to quote just one, the whole piece was really good.
Have you shown it to your gf yet? She should be really pleased
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~Current Battles~
...
Hayley aint seen it yet..
.. Gona give it her next week, I think.
Might just write her another one though.
Up..
.. Peace.
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flow was pretty good - scheme was good - some nice imagery driven vocab - overall quite good - just a few criticisms - some lines seem a little cliched, ie:
Im here with evidence to change your view on this theory
Determined to let you know..
.. Im shouting for you to hear me
the line about shouting seems kinda useless - it sounds nice but doesn't really contribute anything to the point - anyway keep dropping - peace
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I'm dead.
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Hence Forward
Ok, thank you.
Peace out.
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i was feelin that dog. NIce rhymes and good flow. I could sense those multies. Keep spitin like that.
fav. line:
Condense the problem with our defence..
.. And crush it
Put all our worries and troubles in the toilet..
.. And flush it
nice verse here man. lovin' the multies and the flow. kept me reading obviously. love is a played topic, but you played it well. real good job on that. i enjoyed this man. keep at it.
peace
iight, thanks to all of you.
Had to say thank you.
Dont want anymore replies though.
So dont leave feedback if you were going to.
Peace.
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