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Thread: Sit down and write

  1. April 5th, 2004, 10:52 AM #1
    f-gee
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    Sit down and write

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=123186
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=122908

    I'm in the state of mind where thoughts randomly combine
    And align into a blind alley of rhymes in these dark times
    You see i cant think of an original topic and theres nothing to stop it
    So lets take a peek into the coffin that lies behind my optics

    Well its a grey matter to say the least a moist walnut of thinking
    And as i type abstract, thoughts overide the blind corners with an inkling
    Almost flinching, hell lets get a crowbar and crack open my cranium
    But the birds are still drinking on dictionaries so toast to the crazy one
    And to the beat of lazy drums i raq my brain and ask whos to blame
    I found politics, over here! and my guess is saddam hussein
    Am i insane? I just took a leaf out of Bushs' book, the one without a cover
    So i didnt judge it by that, he simply looked like a mother fucker
    Another corrupted Bush thats got aides in the form of Rumsfeld and Co
    Delete file?Yes..i'll show my brain who runs this dam show
    Well hello i just entered a scenario of me actually getting replies to this
    Am i thick?Shit my memory just blanked and my surmise is a textual lisp
    How do i get to grips with the images and visions that fill my head?
    Cos my thinking process is going to be warped and living till im dead
    And how predictable was that rhyming,my complexity has all but vanished
    TV has made me a cabbage vegetating on the sofa with hand on sandwich
    Devolving into a bandwidth and the piece of furniture that worships the screen
    Has been adorned with other media that gets greedier for my pupil team
    Power Off, i should be concentrating on my english usage on the computer
    But i cant focus on the locusts of words which are acting as looters
    So need I to go to the toilet and flush away my shit
    And look that piss i just took will end up in a bottle of 'mineral water'
    And i'll pay end up paying for it labeled 'Natural French Spring'..for 2 quarters
    Cornered in this film of life that only shows the negative sides
    Fuck a Kodak & Fuji i dont need bears and mountains to survive
    Now these scribes have ended and need not be extended
    Cos i've entered a different hemisphere from the Abstract tarmac road..
    Last edited by f-gee; April 5th, 2004 at 12:53 PM
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  2. April 5th, 2004, 11:29 AM #2
    YJ
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    I liked this it was dope it flowed nicely and it da vocab was good
    there was no flaws to me
    keep droppin!
    BEST OF YJ
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  3. April 5th, 2004, 11:54 AM #3
    Edicius
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    Another corrupted Bush thats got aides in the form of Rumsfeld and Co
    Delete file?Yes..i'll show my brain who runs this dam show


    dope man, good wp .. i liked your flow allot .. solid read.. vocab was good ..
    good abstract writting..
    concept was dope.. very very nice.. the way you described it and the whole feeling you gave the reader was pretty dope..

    i will nominate this for Rb legends .. i liked it allot.. very good job man ..

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  4. April 5th, 2004, 01:18 PM #4
    Ace of Aces
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    unique. im guessing that you really did those things one day becuz it was easily imaginable wit the imagery your verse created. maybe it had an inner meaning to it that i didn't sense. but it was a good verse either way. it showed your outlook upon America in a political sense and then you went into what you're doing and so forth. unique. the flow in this was good, had sum good multies. structure was good to. props on this man.

    peace
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  5. April 5th, 2004, 01:31 PM #5
    Epical
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    Original in a sense.I like your POV in this piece.
    You brought out and made a strong statement without sounding dumb or cocky.
    You also made this an interesting read.
    RB is starting to impress me with the talent.
    Good work.
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  6. April 5th, 2004, 02:42 PM #6
    Nahlidge
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    Am i insane? I just took a leaf out of Bushs' book, the one without a cover
    So i didnt judge it by that, he simply looked like a mother fucker

    Those 2 lines were dope as fuck man .. I was really feelin' this piece a lot .. Had some very dope content .. I was definitely feelin' the ideas behind this piece .. Flow was nice .. Like 2 parts/lines where the transition was off a bit but it didn't hurt the piece .. Nice to see another OM from you .. Hope you get back into it .. One
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  7. April 6th, 2004, 09:59 AM #7
    f-gee
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  8. April 7th, 2004, 04:07 PM #8
    f-gee
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    thanks^
    upper cut
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  9. April 8th, 2004, 05:31 PM #9
    f-gee
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    thanks for all the replies...
    that havent been rolling in..
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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  10. April 8th, 2004, 07:37 PM #10
    ILLunatic
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    Good wordplay, nice emotion. Very easy to understand the concept you was sending through. Font was a bit small, and a little harder to read, but it was a good piece.
    Very authenticated, and interesting to read. Very unique writing skill as well..
    Keep it up fgee. Props man.


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  11. April 8th, 2004, 09:01 PM #11
    Mag...
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    I'm in the state of mind where thoughts randomly combine
    And align into a blind alley of rhymes in these dark times
    You see i cant think of an original topic and theres nothing to stop it
    So lets take a peek into the coffin that lies behind my optics
    ^^kinda weird phrasing... I dig... but something could be done to tighten this intro up...

    Well its a grey matter to say the least a moist walnut of thinking
    And as i type abstract, thoughts overide the blind corners with an inkling
    Almost flinching, hell lets get a crowbar and crack open my cranium
    But the birds are still drinking on dictionaries so toast to the crazy one
    ^^pretty much... the same as above... I like the simpler multis... wondering if you couldn't develop some creative wordplays...

    And to the beat of lazy drums i raq my brain and ask whos to blame
    I found politics, over here! and my guess is saddam hussein
    Am i insane? I just took a leaf out of Bushs' book, the one without a cover
    So i didnt judge it by that, he simply looked like a mother fucker
    ^^here we go!... this is the ish... last line felt like it needed a flow tweak tho

    Another corrupted Bush thats got aides in the form of Rumsfeld and Co
    Delete file?Yes..i'll show my brain who runs this dam show
    Well hello i just entered a scenario of me actually getting replies to this
    Am i thick?Shit my memory just blanked and my surmise is a textual lisp
    ^^fuckin fgee... startin to roll with it... your voice just popped out and started goin loco... it's nice to see the active tense used...mmm

    How do i get to grips with the images and visions that fill my head?
    Cos my thinking process is going to be warped and living till im dead
    And how predictable was that rhyming,my complexity has all but vanished
    TV has made me a cabbage vegetating on the sofa with hand on sandwich
    ^^ironically... this is perfectly...bad... it seems to complement the content... which im sure is intentional... nice

    Devolving into a bandwidth and the piece of furniture that worships the screen
    Has been adorned with other media that gets greedier for my pupil team
    Power Off, i should be concentrating on my english usage on the computer
    But i cant focus on the locusts of words which are acting as looters
    ^^eh... the first two here are odd... and maybe need another multi for flow...

    So need I to go to the toilet and flush away my shit
    And look that piss i just took will end up in a bottle of 'mineral water'
    And i'll pay end up paying for it labeled 'Natural French Spring'..for 2 quarters
    Cornered in this film of life that only shows the negative sides
    Fuck a Kodak & Fuji i dont need bears and mountains to survive
    Now these scribes have ended and need not be extended
    Cos i've entered a different hemisphere from the Abstract tarmac road..
    ^^weird ending man... it's very loose... and im not sure I like the flow at all... but it's different and you have to applaud the attempt... content was on tak...

    overall a skilled drop... seems you just got bored and decided to blast off on a couple things... it's a nice read... but nothing epic...

    keep it up bro...
    Hence Forward
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  12. April 9th, 2004, 03:32 PM #12
    Freeman
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    I liked the intro.
    Wow, the politics thing is dope.

    Am i insane? I just took a leaf out of Bushs' book, the one without a cover
    So i didnt judge it by that, he simply looked like a mother fucker

    Judging the book - yet it has no cover - Dope.
    Your voice shows nicely about halfway, nicely.
    I like this piece.
    The closer is abit... Wierd?
    Isnt really a 'closer', so to speak.
    But it doesnt damage the piece, at all.
    Very nice, man.
    Keep it up.
    Pz.

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  13. April 9th, 2004, 03:40 PM #13
    f-gee
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    Cornered in this film of life that only shows the negative sides
    Fuck a Kodak & Fuji i dont need bears and mountains to survive
    Now these scribes have ended and need not be extended
    Cos i've entered a different hemisphere from the Abstract tarmac road..

    okay..i refer to film..then i refer to fuji and kodak which are makers of film
    and i flipped that (i was in an abstract mind frame) into mount fuji..and a kodak bear which is a species
    and the end was me leaving that abstract mind state
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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  14. April 9th, 2004, 05:03 PM #14
    John Kerry
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    Book by its cover / film lines were cool. Some of the opinions were cool, others I disliked; but hey, it was well-written. What`s your AIM again? I was wondering about the state of our collaboration - just get @ me.
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