PM me for a collab,,,,, im taking a leaf outta your book, ya get me?.....lmao
PM me for a collab,,,,, im taking a leaf outta your book, ya get me?.....lmao
[youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]
This was a sweet drop, I don't know if I've seen anything else on this site that I enjoyed reading as much, keep droping and I'll keep reading.
Originally Posted by Dev
Freeposter!!!!!!!
dope as usual..i look forward to ur shit now
Always Impervious an Axis Power.
Supermod Me.
iight...
Ive got loads of time for the moment...
So... Ive decided to breakdown this piece...
Going for the longest breakdown of a piece ever...
A think it deserves my time...
Here goes...
My deepest decision led to leaving town for three days,
Our arguments escalated, soon speeding down the freeway,
Putting miles between us, hearts grow fonder with separation
Suddenly stomped on the gas, and shot the Honda acceleratin’
Should’ve just been patient, but made the wrong decision
Tire popped on a rusty nail, barricades sent the Honda flippin
Blood pooled up on the asphalt, death was likely for this creature
Medics freed the mangled body, arriving right before the Reaper
This like, sets the tone for the piece... Establishes it nicely...
Nice wordplay in this... Excellent vocabulary aswell...
Painted the image of what was happenin right into my mind...
Like about the car flippin... Reminds me of the advert on the TV...
The one about driving while tired... So im picturin that right now...
And the closer on this verse...
Blood pooled up on the asphalt, death was likely for this creature
Medics freed the mangled body, arriving right before the Reaper
Whoa... That was clever... Brilliant concept...
Leaves it hanging... Makes you want to keep on reading...
Attention grabber... Thats what it is... lol...
On the hospital’s third-floor, inside the Intensive Care Unit
In a trance, unable to speak, I'm just sittin there clueless,
Needles pierce pale blue skin, metallic probes Mesh with flesh
Machines constantly beep and hiss, monitors Protect from death
Mind replaying life’s memories, in fast-forward than rewind
When I see a flash of her face, I shed a teardrop every time
The crash has left me blind, I rely on memories of her smile,
The girl I fell in love with, possibly the mother of our child.
wanna see her laugh with glee, cant ask if she’s mad at me,
If I could take my decisions back, we could be a happy Family
I feel her presence every day, checking up & wishing well
Still unable to respond, mind stayt frozen in a living hell
Im locked away like prison cells, if it weren’t for love I’d die
My Emotionless face stays solid, eyes are tearless but I cry,
Once again...
You can imagine the needles in his body...
And can imagine him sitting there in a stupor...
Portrays the minds picture excellently...
Good explanation of how the machines are keeping him alive...
Whoa... The emotion in this verse is amazing... Fuckin Hell...
You can just tell how much he loves that girl...
And how she is there... But he can only sense that she is there as he is like in a sort of a coma or summin like that... Whoa...
Excellent wordplay... Excellent vocabulary... Once again...
How he has to rely on the memories of her smile... Dope...
You can just imagine the torment going on in his head...
How he loves her... Yet he cannot do a thing about it...
Apart from thinking about her...
How he is crying inside... Yet not showing anythin on the outside... Whoa...
Mind replaying life’s memories, in fast-forward than rewind
When I see a flash of her face, I shed a teardrop every time
That was my favourite line of this verse... Brilliant imagery...
Light rain drops splash rhythmically, against the window pane
Show patience with coma patients, pretend there is no pain,
Many bandages have been removed, black and blue shades fading
Possibly the storm has passed, it appears a new day’s breaking,
Silently sitting across from each other, we can’t share a word
Our auras roam in different realms, still our prayers are heard..
What we had was true love, the crash took her Away from me
She left after bitter arguments, while discussing the pregnancy
Showed me what true faith was, everytime we made love,
I’ve said a million prayers hoping God will make her wake up,
Sitting across from you in a daze, now all that’s left is wishing
I’ve spent 6 months reliving love, can’t live a life of reminiscing
Her physical condition’s slipping, she’ll be visited by the Reaper,
I take a large gulp of the poison, I’ll be on the other side to meet her,
She awoke for the final second, let out a scream to breaking water,
Than cries, “what have you done? I gave my life to save our Daughter”
It was too late for her to save me, inside my spirit wasn’t there,
We fell down into the bed, lifeless eyes locked in a loving stare...
Fuckin Hell... Best verse... This is like, Summin the other 2 up...
This has by far the best imagery of all the verses... You can imagine the pain that he feels...
The physical pain... It is nothing compared to the emotional pain...
Once again... A can just imagine exactly what is happenin as it is being told...
The lifeless eyes locked in a loving stare...
Whoa... Amazing...
It was too late for her to save me, inside my spirit wasn’t there,
We fell down into the bed, lifeless eyes locked in a loving stare...
Such a brilliant ending to the whole piece...
Excellent...
This deserves Legends... Its too damn good...
Maybe after this breakdown...
They might realise... lol...
This is the closest thing to flawless...
Best OM ive read...
And ive read hundreds...
Thats why this deserved the super-long breakdown...
OUT
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^ Wow..thanks...
feel like uppin all my shit..
Freeman....I was going through this and I just read your reply again...
Possibly the best Breakdown anyone has ever given me..thanks dude...
and to all those OM'ers who think they are Legends staus...Blah~~~foo~~~
LMFAo~~~~~~
What more can I say, Penny? You are dope with imagery, flow, vocab, structure, and everything under the sun. You have rare talent; use it to the fullest.
can I kick it?
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