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Thread: Turning the pages ` Ft - Nahlidge & Fgee

  1. #1
    beyond dope.
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    Turning the pages ` Ft - Nahlidge & Fgee


    Turning the pages `

    Edicius

    The letters slowly pass me by
    forming a story, far from a lie..
    with emotion far from logically
    `necessary consequences
    could be interpretated as shy
    but still with the power to imply
    and me not realizing any things around me that occured
    my mind in this story ..
    blocked from reality as i preferred
    reading & creating my own world..
    As the author try's to sympatize
    im drowning in his story..
    realizing its not all ` clear blue skies
    & a strong exceedingly defective voice
    of wich one was writtin.. truth was within..
    a story line` for readers to make a choice
    yet that option was allready set at the beginning
    Ive read all the pages yet the answers remained, not to find..
    all the chapters reflected a little..of my life..
    still its not precise` resambling all thats going on in my mind..
    so as im slowly turning my pages ..
    life and reality evaluated ..
    in good , bad , and several other stages..

    Fgee

    Encased on a piece of paper bound in a spine
    i'm forever reading chapters till i find mine
    some sticky with grime others unctouched
    i've never ever read or thought about so much
    and of course the dust settles all around
    but the words are absurd without any sound
    now im drowned in an ocean of nouns and verbs
    and im perturbed at these words which leap from the page
    through the candle lit sky and the eyes that it craves
    to an age where thoughts generate an image
    of far away places and faces id like to visit
    not just in spirit but to witness the writing first hand
    as the ink hits the sheets in search of thirsts gland
    an immersed man flicking past the scriptures
    picking the sheets wisely and glancing at the pictures
    hoping he'd whisk her away, his wife that is
    to a happier sight instead of the negatives of his
    of a delicate bliss where the hits dont happen
    he couldnt help himself and the stress from rappin
    just an old mans past reminiscing about his ways
    a tear drops an blots the writing on his diary page..
    he'll keep on turning..

    Nahlidge

    As the page turns the world burns
    While others are lost in fantasies
    Randomly catchin' diseases
    Plaguin' death on innocent families
    Insanity spreads while stories are read
    Paintin' pictures in their minds
    While they're readin' between the lines
    The picture in my eyes could make them blind
    10 times the holocaust
    Written in fictituous fables
    People struggle, and are unable
    To put food on their kitchen table
    Blood's spilled and love kills
    Some only dream about it
    On a page it can be seen
    But you can't hear them scream about it
    The real world, a real girl
    A real wound, a real death
    Real pain can make you stressed
    Unless you choose to read about it instead.

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  2. #2
    beyond dope.
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    Replyed to Nahlidge & Sureal

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  3. #3
    Khôi NguJin
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    edicius.....i felt that...your scheme is really unique and easy to read....comprehendable content and deep thoughts....multis are in the right spots and the flow never really fell off.....the only thing i didn't like was your finish ....but ioono the collab isn't finished....i could quote basically your whole verse, i enjoyed it a lot..

    yo fgee, your part was equally dope as edicuis.....

    and im perturbed at these words which leap from the page
    through the candle lit sky and the eyes that it craves
    to an age where thoughts generate an image
    of far away places and faces id like to visit
    Felt that the most in your part...

    Very nice imagery in your section, and unique scheme once again, word choice is key,and you expressed everything with emotion and the grimy scenes of a guy looking through past diary pages....crazy thoughts...

    mentill...wow...sick sick flow nearing the end....maaad props...

    The real world, a real girl
    A real wound, a real death
    Real pain can make you stressed
    Unless you choose to read about it instead.
    Thats some real shit..

    I felt your whole part...again unique scheme...

    i feel u all complimented each other very well and dropped a superb collab that is almost worthy of RB Legends...if not.

  4. #4
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    Really nice piece here. Each writer contributed to make this a well-rounded and dope drop. Edicius, I like your structure. Easy read. You had great content, descriptive lines and shit that just makes you think. I was really feeling your verse. Flow was on-point and the multi's didn't hamper the flow, it only helped. At first, they were, because of your structure, but I read again and the flow was there. Fgee, your part was exceptional too. Great flow, great descriptions, just an overall nice verse. Structure, once again, was good and you added some great things to this collab. Nahlidge, dopeness again. You guys together makes this piece incredible. Like the guy above said, the flow was excellent near the end and content was great, all of you excelled in that department. Structure, good. I felt every verse in this collab and you guys leave me wanting more, something not many writers here can do to me. So, continue dropping. Possibly another Collab with all three of you ? One can only hope. Great job all of you. Pz.

    - Check out "I Cry" when it's up , Thanks -

  5. #5
    this buds for you Thrust's Avatar
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    very good collabo like whoa... each n every single one hit this with a pretty decent style and good content along with the imagry really showed up in all pieces
    Ed-your flow was ok...hard to get in the mix of it but yea i like the different styles a lot and you handled it well...good job
    Fgee-best verse of the bunch, greatest content in the whole collab, usage of vocab here really propelled your verse, good jjob
    mentill-nice short ending there...your flow wasn't as good as the other two but it didn't seem like you intended it to be...it was a good read from you...good job

    and again...good job


    o and uhh...please find the kindness of your hearts to leave feedback
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  6. #6
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    This was a great piece, all three verses really stood out...the rhymes were well conecting...flow was good but the concept and description of emotion was awesome...very good...

    *Nominates For Legends*


    Check Out My 'Gods Laughing...yous might like it.
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  7. #7
    beyond dope.
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    thnx yo ` Up..

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  8. #8
    ||RythmicTendicies|| 'PercepTion''s Avatar
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    sorry this isn;t as long as i usually do..

    "Edicius":
    I thought your flow was brutal, you came out strong on this...had some dope inetrnal rhymin' goin on there. You outshone on your imagry as well...I really felt in direct contact with what you were sayin' and you built up a perfect picture...big props on that....

    "Ive read all the pages yet the answers remained, not to find..
    all the chapters reflected a little..of my life..
    still its not precise` resambling all thats going on in my mind..
    "


    "Fgee":
    You had a different flow from Eddy, but honestly just as dope....some nice internals and nice fluency about it....your vocab was another thing that really shone...you always come nice on this...dope terminology and everyhting slotted nicely together....was feelin' your imagry as well, thought it was ferocious as usual.. :thumBup:

    "now im drowned in an ocean of nouns and verbs
    and im perturbed at these words which leap from the page
    through the candle lit sky and the eyes that it craves
    to an age where thoughts generate an image"


    "Nahlidge":
    Your flow i felt was weaker...it seemed to eb alittle too simplistic...there were nice internals but still it came off a little weak..your imagy however was tight...you really exceleld on this aspect and because of this i really felt in touch with what you were sayin'..dope...

    4.7/5...one of the best collabs i've seen in a while...from 2 of my favourite writers (not seen much of your stuff Nahlidge, but i will be looking out for it in future)..deserves to be in legends no doubt..
    Open Mic's


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  9. #9
    The League's Bill Parcell
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    Of course... this was a nearly flawless
    piece. Nice work guys... let the shadows
    grow. We're almost there.



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  10. #10
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Eddy=M!sf!ts!!!!!!!!
    Menthol=My Boy`
    Fgee=Cool myterious dude..(Read my Torment Story you!)

    ^All three in -Eclipse-
    This collab in Legends....

  11. #11
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    Penny! stop with the shitty replies :P

    Edicius-Your style always befuddles me. Sometimes it seems so good, and other times it is decidedly unappealing. This was one of the former times. I quite liked this because your entire piece was simply put...the words were simple and yet as deep as they could have been. Very nice.

    Fgee-Your imagery was golden...from the start, you described a book (without saying the word) and then proceeded to make it personal with the next line. Your entire verse was riddled with that nice schtuff. You write in a very cool way.
    but the words are absurd without any sound
    now im drowned in an ocean of nouns and verbs
    and im perturbed at these words which leap from the page
    through the candle lit sky and the eyes that it craves
    Mentill-You capped it off perfectly...your verse added to the other two, but seemed to be much more finite. It was like the period at the end of you last line said "that it, biznatch!"
    10 times the holocaust
    Written in fictituous fables
    People struggle, and are unable
    To put food on their kitchen table
    that stuck in my mind because it is just straight forward "look at the world'.
    good work you guys.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  12. #12
    beyond dope.
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    I love those indepth reply's thanx you guys, & maven get to me on aim =( .. up

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  13. #13
    beyond dope.
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    Rofl, @ ` over a 100 views.. and err..8 replys.

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