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Thread: I Remember (dope)

  1. March 15th, 2004, 04:08 PM #1
    LM
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    I Remember (dope)

    --CHORUS--SING--X2
    I remember all those years
    I remember all those tears
    I felt safer when you were near
    You scared away all my fears

    --VERSE 1--RAP--
    You were my only father figure since I was very young
    And you were always proud...
    ...I remember all the songs we sung
    Like a lung you were essential to me, helped me breath
    But now your gone...
    ...I suppose everybody has a time to leave
    And I believe that we'll meet again at the pearly gates
    I dont know why...
    ...But I look forward to facin my fate
    I contemplate my place in society sometimes I wanna die
    There's a reason for that...
    ...I never had a chance to say goodbye
    And I aint gonna lie, I honestly miss you every single day
    I wish you were still here...
    ...So I'm a make you proud in every way
    Maybe you'll look down on me and be able to smile at me
    And I'll know when it happens...
    ...But til then I'll just have these memories
    Now God has set you free, and you aint in no-more pain
    But the truth is...
    ...I miss hearin your voice and talkin your name
    I'm goin insane, In every lyric I write there's a part of you
    I've had many a bad day...
    ...But the worst is 14th July 2002

    --CHORUS--SING--X2
    I remember all those years
    I remember all those tears
    I felt safer when you were near
    You scared away all my fears

    _____________
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...73#post1270473
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...31#post1267631
    Last edited by LM; March 24th, 2004 at 12:05 PM
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  2. March 15th, 2004, 04:17 PM #2
    Freeman
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    My cap goes off to you..

    Loved it..

    Nice flow, transitions everything..

    Would only change some of the wording, in a few places..

    That is it..

    RIP, Harry..

    Pz out, bro..

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  3. March 16th, 2004, 12:49 AM #3
    ACcentuous
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    would like to hear this in audio. The chorus was nice short and to the point. wished the verse was a little longer but it too was short and to the point. Good flow and emotion.

    7/10
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  4. March 16th, 2004, 12:50 AM #4
    Mistral
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    You need to leave 2 links of replies and post them in here or this gets closed, Thanks.
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  5. March 16th, 2004, 12:52 AM #5
    The Realist
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    I like the flow on this...very easy read
    The emotion was there but if you expaned the piece im sure you could have developed more into that aspect

    nothing major wrong with it, just maybe fixing flow a little and rhyme scheme

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  6. March 16th, 2004, 06:08 AM #6
    LM
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    Thanks....

    I'll get links later and edit my post
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  7. March 16th, 2004, 06:12 AM #7
    Laureate
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    Its sad that something depressing can inspire such gretness. This was really a well done piece LM. The chorus was ok, but the verse was great. Emotion took over and I really felt your verse. Imagry was present at times also. Great job man

    Can you please peep my piece in the Poetry forum. 'Winter to Spring: Memories' thanks a lot, it should be at the very top
    A few achievements here and there

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  8. March 16th, 2004, 03:52 PM #8
    idle
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    great
    the rhyme scheme was constant and the song all together came off dope
    i give respect to you for writing this song, i felt your emotion on the track and it had the feel of a professional rapper

    I remember all those years
    I remember all those tears
    I felt safer when you were near
    You scared away all my fears

    the chorus was great (basic but memorable), i think your a talented lyricist and you have a good ability for expressing your feelings through rap
    what a great way to remember your mate.
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  9. March 18th, 2004, 06:50 AM #9
    LM
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  10. March 19th, 2004, 05:11 PM #10
    LM
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  11. March 19th, 2004, 05:37 PM #11
    Born To Kill
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    Very good read, my friend...

    If only I could feel as you do...

    Short, sweet, well, bittersweet...

    Nice vocab, nothing too complex, I feel emotion gets fucked with dictionary words and since this was all about emotion, I'm glad you didn't use any.

    Good hook, great flow...
    The message was deep and sincere.

    Very nice, friend...

    Peace
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  12. March 19th, 2004, 05:38 PM #12
    YJ
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    nice drop LM
    very emotional yea I liked the chorus
    nice flow keep droppin

    oh yea me and freelance's collabo

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120351
    Last edited by YJ; March 19th, 2004 at 05:42 PM
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  13. March 19th, 2004, 05:52 PM #13
    HeXen
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    Dis was good.....

    Kept it Simple and it was efective.....

    Vocab was basic but it worked.....

    Structure was nice and well layed out.....

    Very Fulent......

    Keep It Up......

    Pz.......
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  14. March 19th, 2004, 06:01 PM #14
    LM
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    ^^^Dont like your font but thanks anyway
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  15. March 22nd, 2004, 06:44 AM #15
    LM
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