You PM'd me wantin to do topical..
..so here we go!
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Topic: Betrayal
Stryk9
ILLunatic
You PM'd me wantin to do topical..
..so here we go!
10-20 Lines
Normal rules
Topic: Betrayal
Last edited by ILLunatic; March 19th, 2004 at 03:00 PM
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chekin in
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Betrayal , cutting out your heart and your mind
its like a videotape you can never rewind
since once its done it cant be taken back
forever like george up and fucking iraq
Wether your betrayed for love lust or just some money
it will make you cold as stone inside , make cloudy what once was sunny
Its a knife in your spine after your given a lobotomy
your wifes on the line and she just forsook her monogamy
Its like your best friend left you to hang with another crew
because in this life "image is everything" as opposed to mountain dew
being betrayed can happen to anybody with anyone near them
and you can cry your fucking eyes but it wont get rid of the serin(searing)
When your alone in the world you feel as if your in prison
Theres no shoulder to cry on and nobody to listen
theres mine
i dont topical much and your like topical master but i like feedback
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"Betrayal"
We've been friends for the longest time, this i never expected
You stabbed a knife in my back, now our friendships infected
I woulda never suspected, that you'd actually do this to me
Do you see, i trusted you. which i guess was a fool of me
The pain you have brought to me, it couldnt' be worst
Before my depression burst, you had to do this to me first
I dont understand, why'd you have to do me like that?
We was like brothers man...why'd you do me like that?
Still.. i ask myself... Why did this happen? why'd he betray me?
Does he hate me... or was our friendship a joke to play me?
Its a shame this had to happen, after all the times i had your back
When kids said you was wack, I was the one to help you forget that
Homie..........I never thought our friendship would end in Betrayal
Everything was a mistake... but to me you are to hard to hate though
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wtf was this.............................................. .....
........................ILLunatic by a lot had way more potencial.........
had a lot of story to it and flowed pretty good...................
..........................................man y im i even breaking this down.....
S9 was whack and fell of subject more than once..........
.......................................ill say ILLunatic won this with out a doubt..
stayed on topic and i injoyed his more and thats it.............
.....................................blah......... ..................................
vote/ILLunatic, and vote on my battle wtf i asked you to like 10 times..
nice battle i thought.
stryk9- you came pretty good i think. you had sum really nice lines. your structure kinda had me doubtin that, but you proved me wrong. the way you summed up betrayal is commending. that was a great way to show all the instances. you had a different techinique then ill's.
illunatic- you came just as dope. except you had a different style. instead of explaining betrayal, you showed it. the scenario is common but you still managed to give me good feel of it. really nice.
vote- illunatic...this was close, but ima give it to him for having imagery. its hard to judge two different styles tho. could been either or based on wutever we like best. and i tend to go with stories more. props to both.
peace
ps. could you please vote on this in return. 1 more vote to close.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120227
thanx.
peace
Uppin#1
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Nice verse ill , upin i guesse
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stryke your fucking wak as fuck man..shit verse no vocad shit structure and shit flow
you ndidnt touch on the topiuc really man eloavte.........ill dogg nice verse you did what you had to do looked alot nicer and hit alot more on the topic.nicer drop by far thaT SIMPLE
v-ill
plz plz hit this man http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120266 .thx ......
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Uppin#2
I'll it up links when i get back tonight.
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MY VERDICT
Strk: man stick to battle rapping from ur spit i saw u havnt topicalled before. But since ur a newb to topical i have to take it easy on you you spit was kinda slow no heat wasnt any good imagery and u wrote it in a general perspective you should of focused on using a past experiance or make it more personal,yet sumtin ppl can relate to.
ILL: good spit , i really related to it beacuase i recently got stabbed in the back even though yours was personal it was deeper and a much nicer read nice multies made your structure and flow better you had nice vocab as well and u only used 14 lines wen u could of used 6 more to make ur point so very well done.
this was a one sided battle but still strk try harder next time in a topical and remember its topical not battle so try to base it on urself instead of the other person or general perspective but keep up the writeing please remember this is constructive critism not hate so keep it real and make it deep....peace
Flow:ILL
Multies: ILL
Structure: ILL
Punches: ILL
MY VOTE: ILLunatic
^i feel ya..
UPPIN#3
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Damn I got to give it up to tha both of these cats,
shit wuz tight, And Ill has elevated alot, this wus a tough one to call,
flow wuz a tie, subject, Ill, interesting, both, overall Ill, ayo this wuz jus my
opinion fell'as not hate what so eva,get @ me
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