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Thread: Alter Ego

  1. #1
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    Alter Ego

    Eeeego # 1:
    no hidden morals had his visions quarreled; he liked to sit on laurels
    and pass down stories giving oral, but his mind was living plural..
    didn't care he was laughed at, got past that;
    plus he didn't know who he was, at that -
    while some were masters at plans, and faster with hands,
    when a disaster began, he didn't go after it man.
    he liked to write to, relatives that normally fight you,
    a sad state of being, since he wasn't too bright too..
    he'd partake in deeds, those who had mistaken needs,
    debate for these, with his own problems shaken free..
    go to help others, selfless - not because he was helpless,
    but he was in the hearts of those he had helped with...
    he felt with the right cleaning - beneath the slight preening
    that our souls could all figure out life's meaning,
    didn't go w/ society - a true idol which few rival,
    he caused controversy in waves, his view tidal..
    even he had his problems few, and he absolved them too,
    the man you'd forgive if they were involved with you.
    cuz with a bad deed, he reminds of hurting, yet is the kind of person
    whose plain smile won't let ya kindness worsen
    talks simply w/ a trace of lisp , a flake or wisp,
    he was the guy who would never awaken kids;
    his traits were this; thats why you hoped for him,
    up until his second ego had broken in .. .

    Eeeego #2
    sorry but ego # 2 wouldn't let me post this

  2. #2
    at first it seemed like your shit was forced rhymes, cuz they kinda fell off sense-wise
    but then you picked up and i liked it a lot
    i have an image of this like shit and its hard to even explain,
    and also i really want to read the second part
    so POST UP haha
    Basement Productions Inc
    [ A-Dub ] - [ Freelance ] - [ PD ] - [ Twist ]
    *human complex*

  3. #3
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Man, Feebs...

    This was a really weird rhyme, man.

    Quite Sybil-esque.

    But, off beat, because the good side is winning...

    That rarely seems to happen anywhere, film, text, plays, whatever...
    You almost always see the good one being locked in while the evil inside is channeled and released through another personality.

    This one flipped it and that's a pretty dope concept.

    Flow was on mark, great use of multi's...
    Coulda been a bit longer, developed more.
    I'd have liked to see what the other side wanted to say or do...

    But the way you shut him down was pretty cool unto itself.

    Nice work, Feebs...

    Please, hit up either my Gauntlet Battle or my Open Mic, Disturbed...

    Thanks.
    Last edited by Born To Kill; March 19th, 2004 at 10:12 AM

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