Offers...

[The Beat Mod]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119920
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120089

Sacred Scriptures people said I need to be more poetic...So imma practice that here. Try to implement the elements of song writing into this poetic feel. Enjoy.



Offers...

Offered my dreams, Everything I've ever wanted...
powerful riches to be flaunted, Money, which once left me taunted
Live Life at it's peak, Compared to impeccable paradise...
Living the High Class life, but at a high-classed price...
Could only glimpse, the offerer, stood marvelously-bright...
I figured he was God-Sent, only they possessed that light
He showed me everything I ever wanted, no need to think...
I instantly signed on the dotted line, on his paper with my ink
Now I was see'ing, What I had always been flee'ing...
I felt power, and hunger, like every other human being...
It seemed odd, Life taught me, everything good has a cost...
So I pondered and thought about what I might have lost...
My friends were still here, Still inspired to write song...
But seems like I lost the biggest thing, The presence of God...
I gave the Devil me, All because of Greed...
Was caught up in what I wanted, rather than want I need...
Now the Devil follows me, He acts as my lifes holder...
I've lost God, his angel no longer stands on the other shoulder
Lucifer accounts for my doings, He judges my action...
Every whole of a fraction, he determines my reaction
And to think, I lost all that I could of gotten...
I had a Golden Apple before me, and I ignored it to turn rotten...
Where are those good things now? seemed the promise was reversed...
I could of avoided all of this, if I just put god first...



At times in our lives...We all forget our priorities...what should be most important to us. We are privelleged to live where we are...We have the choice to determine whether we shall follow the right path...or go down the wrong road. Remember this saying...Things that you work hardest to keep...are those worth keeping.

[ELEETE]

^^^Nice West.....An very true as well my good man...You made a lot of good points in this verse...

My friends were still here, Still inspired to write song...
But seems like I lost the biggest thing, The presence of God...

^^So true bro...I feel like ^that^ in my life right now...as if though ive lost my sight in God...I really need to find him again...

Anyway dawg this piece was pretty nicely written...You said you wanna practice your poetic skills in song an you did a good job here my friend...Nice piece...Great Job...

[The Beat Mod]

thx for the feedback. uppin.

[FaceFuckaMidget.]

nice ish westie..........lol..............never expected to see you in this forum.....

but you layed it down nicely.......a different approach than normal........but delivered nicely.........

[Born To Kill]

Real nice verse...

Good recycle of an old concept...
(Selling your soul to "make it")

I stumbled on your flow in a couple of places, not sure if that was your fault or if I'm just sleepy and high this morning.

Good vocab, some nice lenghty words, but I didn't need to locate a dictionary to get their meanings...(I hate it when kids do that, use long, complicated words no one would ever use in real life, blah, rap is suppossed to be real)

Good message, good way of relaying it.

Peace