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Thread: World Crisis

  1. March 15th, 2004, 05:00 AM #1
    Reeco
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    World Crisis (vet Opinions Please)

    .

    World Crisis

    War And Apathy


    DIsmembered mental state-oblivious to the world,
    contemplating if hell awaits~

    Solaitary confinement, social reclinement, rejected the human race,
    plead with God to reconsider my position because ive been misplaced~

    Evaluate then let me evaporate to a place less fake...
    ...dictated by the Britton and united snakes~

    Pre decided-fates, at the end of the day it comes down to size of plates~

    The demise of grace, The ridiculing of morality,
    the by product is more catasprophey~

    We sit back and watch it happen, victims of the deadley sin of apathy~

    Gradualy, the powers that be install there inclinations,
    this creates expectations~

    On weaker nation's, to carry out support based on other's perservations~

    Just a few aspects of our world's crisis,
    reported by a kid trapped in a storm with a disrturbed IRIS

    World Crisis-Different Aspect.


    Alone in a cold room lies a Young girl..
    ... terrified of the Events that she knows will take control soon~

    The highlight of worring would be to hear footsteps, Heart shaking,..
    ...Violent images attaking her mind with persistance~

    Should ONE MAN Be aloud to Haunt this young girl's existance?
    Knowing dam well she had no means of resistance~

    The girl begins to believe her prayers were neglected sends,
    Thinking her case wasnt enough for God to be interrested again~

    Was the man doing this to her Devil's specimen? Or is he weak,
    unable to control his rotten charteristic's~

    Fufil his greed and keep his conscience at a distance,
    Pretend he didnt know what he done to this kid,...
    ....oblivious to the pain he's inflicted~

    That man will die lonley, Who knows where his soul will travel
    ....when his body withers in his grave...
    ....He left behind a child with a chip on her shoulda that refuses
    ....to go away,
    This is just one example of something that happens every day~

    Most pretend people like this, dont exist absorbed in their ignorance...
    .. rely on the incompetant police to clense our world~

    Fuk what u see on the news, the truth is no one understands the CRISIS were living in until you trade eyes with that little girl..




    Links - http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119570
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118852
    Last edited by Reeco; March 15th, 2004 at 08:47 PM
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  2. March 15th, 2004, 05:02 AM #2
    Horud Skys
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    dope piece....nice vocabulary.......imagery was cool....goodwriters voice .... well written....... i really liked this one cuzzo.....different aspect was the best part i think......

    Fufil his greed and keep his conscience at a distance,
    Pretend he didnt know what he done to this kid,...
    ....oblivious to the pain he's inflicted~

    sick. great drop yo.


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  3. March 15th, 2004, 06:18 AM #3
    Freeman
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    Well..

    My man.. Im impressed.. This was a very nice piece..

    From the start you established a nice flow.. And kept it up throughout most of the piece.. Dropped a couple of times.. But nothing major..

    Vocabulary was nice.. You had some nice inners and multi's too..

    Wasnt feeling the rhyme scheme though.. It worked.. But ive never liked it when pieces rhyme like this one did..

    Was your best drop.. In my opinion..

    Now..

    Hit everything in my sig.. ..

    Or I will shoot you.. .. With your own gun.. That you were holding in your sig a while ago.. Lmao..

    Thanks.. Much appreciated..

    Pz..

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  4. March 15th, 2004, 06:23 AM #4
    Endeva.
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    i thought this was pretty good, you portrayed the topic well, with some nice immagery, the thing i didnt like was the structure, dont see why you have spaces between your lines???, other than that nice
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]
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  5. March 15th, 2004, 09:05 AM #5
    Reeco
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    ok thanks so far....uppin...........................
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  6. March 15th, 2004, 09:42 AM #6
    Reeco
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    uppin again!!!...............................lookin for some topical haeds to give an opinion!!
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  7. March 15th, 2004, 11:38 AM #7
    Reeco
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  8. March 15th, 2004, 01:02 PM #8
    cheeze_n
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    yo diz waz gd. nice piece. gd vocabulary. well written. structure was a bit confusin
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  9. March 15th, 2004, 07:13 PM #9
    Reeco
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    uppin.............................................
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  10. March 16th, 2004, 08:57 AM #10
    Reeco
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    ummm this is really getting slept on....come on!!
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  11. March 16th, 2004, 09:17 AM #11
    Penskills
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    Timeless....I never paid any attention to any of your works before..
    After this one...I probaly still won't..<<--He thinks that was Funny

    I'm impressed by your work here...your writers voice really stood out..
    That's what imprssed me the most..I know lot of OM'ers on here who think they can write,But they are really just average..I think you have the potenial to move to the next level...Good Work..
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  12. March 16th, 2004, 09:29 AM #12
    Trahedy Siphon
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    Nice Vocab...some good wordplay in here,
    & some of the imagery was tight....Topic
    was on point 2....
    Boom tick its Brix!

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  13. March 17th, 2004, 03:51 AM #13
    Reeco
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  14. March 17th, 2004, 05:49 AM #14
    UNDEAD.
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    good piece man really nice i think one of your best , can u hit up my Open Mic Love 2 Hate and plus bro u need to vote properly on my battle against diverged thanx ...peace
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  15. March 17th, 2004, 05:51 AM #15
    LM
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    This was nice.....except the structure

    Nice vocab, flow and creativity. You'll be brilliant at OM with a bit of practice.

    Overall. Good drop
    LM
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    ...The Rhymes
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