Angel..

[Freeman]

My angel is with me through thick and thin.. Its there all the time
It assists me in unimaginable ways.. Would push me up if I couldnt climb
My angel is sublime.. Its amazing gold beams give out a glowing heat
Flossy wings erupt from its spine.. Its truly an awe inspiring elite
It makes my life complete.. No retreat.. With it I move ahead
It fills me up with happiness.. And completely dissolves the dread
The love it spreads.. Through peoples heads.. Looks after me when im asleep
Not for one second.. Did I ever think.. That my angel would turn out cheap
It was a creep.. It never liked me really.. Was jus playin a game
It killed a block full of people.. And then gave the police my name
Look who took the blame.. Guess what I became.. I was hunted
And I got what you deserved.. The masses got me and I was confronted
My mind became blunted.. They caught me.. And I was the one who got shot
After all your lies and games.. I took the bullet that you should of got
My soul in your hands lies forgot.. I cant hold on to any shred
My life is almost finished.. Im only an inch away from being dead
And as I lie on the hospital bed.. Life escaping my body.. I gasp a farwell
I thought you would look out for me...
... But you didnt..
.. My supposed angel

[Freeman]

Links..

#1
#2

Lets go..

[Chris Black]

*highlights the verse...copies it...pastes it in Word Perfect...increses font size....begins to read *

This was a nice piece. I like the emotions. Flow was decent. I like how you flipped it halfway though. That kept it interesting. Very original Idea.

“It fills me up with happiness.. And completely dissolves the dread
The love it spreads.. Through peoples heads.. Looks after me when im asleep
Not for one second.. Did I ever think.. That my angel would turn out cheap
It was a creep.. It never liked me really.. Was jus playin a game”

I love the transition from good to bad in these lines. This was a cool read. Keep up the good work

[Topic]

wow different peice...as i read the first few lines i though it was going to be a love song but then BAM it changed to a sad song. Good imaginary good vocab and great flow. Great peice overall. nothing i can tell you to really work on

[Ace of Aces]

tight. not an uncommon topic but not too common either. but you had a really nice switch there halfway towards the end. nice little lesson to learn in this. the way you expressed this was just as good as what you expressed. it was simple in the sense of vocabulary, but you mixed it up with the multies and the scheme changes. nice job. i liked this. keep it up.

hit mines in return plz. thanx. 'Love for a Brother'

peace

[Endeva.]

^^lose the sig fag... lol.... anyways to the verse.... i thought you got a nice feel to it, your style is different to mine, your lines are a bit stretched out, the scheme was pretty consistant, a couple of lines lost it a bit, with jus the one rhyme, no intrenals or shit, which knocked the flow, but only very slightly... pretty flawless other than that... one of your better drops.... UK!

[FormulaMC]

Originality. . holy shit. LoL. This was very nice, as Dev said, one of your better drops. Structure was fine, flow was kept some-what consistent, althought some lines were stretched just a little bit. I love the content though, and the topic. You hit this well. This was different, and I thought it was quite ill. The way you described what the angel does for you in the beginning was good. . everything else was nice too. Keep this original shit up, and we're going to collab soon, ho.

[SMZ]

Dammit you reply to every one of my pieces so now I'm obligated to do likewise.

The first two lines were stretched but the flow got on track after that. Vocab blah. Nice switch up. Interesting original piece. Keep 'em coming. Since you're the only one who consistently views my stuff without my asking you to - I'm going to ask you to go vote on my battle - It's in Elite against Phrantik. Anyone else reading this feel free to go vote too.

[Freeman]

Thanks to you all..

I really enjoyed doing this piece.. Was fun..

Up..

Pz..

[Freeman]

And still no replies after the whole weekend.. Oh dear..

Up..

[Reeco]

ok.....

nice piece free, i thought this would be another love story about an angel or some shit like that, but ya put a good twist on the topic!! i'm guessin the angel was ya boy or somthin and he wernt there for ya when you needed him!!

structure was nice and simple, like it it woz easier to read that way, i dissagree with the other comments, i didnt think ya lines were streched at all.

Flow was good and conststant, also made it an easy read!!

this is one of ya better drops like everyone sed, keep it up!!

Fav line = And as I lie on the hospital bed.. Life escaping my body.. I gasp a farwell
I thought you would look out for me...
... But you didnt..
.. My supposed angel

^^ that shit was dope. hoe. lol :-)

pz

[rule]

This was pretty good, the emotion you painted was very good, your opening was tight..rhymed well, structure was good. very creative on a usual topic...you made it interesting very good work man keep it up

[ELEETE]

I agree Free.....this was probably one of your best pieces ive read from you.....

I guess its a toss up between The Sky and this for my favorite Freeman piece....

Your imagery wasnt as good as in The Sky i thought....but your story-telling was dope.....Your flip up in this piece left the piece in awe....which made a great ending....

All in all this was dope.....everything was pretty much on point....Great job once again Freeman.....

9/10

[Ron B. Vicious]

nice piece, it combined raw emotion with a story which isn't something easily accomplished. Nice piece one of my favorites from you. Keep dropping and i agree with Devoe Lose your sig thingy whatever your name is, shits corny

[Freeman]

=)..