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Thread: Flashback On Progression. . .

  1. #1
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    Flashback On Progression. . .

    April 28th, 1988
    Found my way through the tunnel N escaped
    Most can relate to nine months straight
    Cramped in the damped womb, waiting for fate
    To take it's course, I came out crying
    Looking for attention, if I said I wasn't, I'd be lying
    Trying to see who my mom's was, saw her eyes drying
    What the fuck ? I just got passed to someone
    "That's your brother Travis" oh, he looks like the dumb one
    Next ? Dad, how's it going, you might wanna watch out
    Don't mean to sound blunt, but I gotta piss N my cock's out
    Shit, where am I going ? Get your hands off me!
    Why do I gotta lay in here ? Mom, they're assaulting me!
    Few days later, N Hi Mom, Ain't I Cute ?
    I fell outta the bed, didn't know about them parachutes
    Pampers hamper my ass, can I get some powder for this rash ?
    I'm gettin a little smarter now N I know about the candy stash
    One thing I noticed is it was never "Hand him to Dad"
    He wasn't there alot, no relationship we coulda had
    But I ain't mad, cause Momma, she was incredible
    Intellectual, My early childhood was daddyless but special

    Flashback on Progression {x2}

    Started school, and fuckin right i'm smart
    Math, reading, N writing, shit i'll even own you with finger art
    Out spoken, the clouds broken, sunshines N i'm popular
    "Reach for your dreams N grab, ain't nobody stoppin' ya"
    What my grandma told me, N she was right
    I always kept good grades all up in my eye sight
    But I pushed myself too much, pushed by my parents
    But wait, I forget about all the shit when the snare hits
    I'd be zoned out, phones out, what's this ?
    Rhythmic reasoning riding in my ear
    Hip Hop, the shit i'm grinding on this year
    Parents was country though, they didn't approve
    Of Pac, Big, or Dre, so music relations ain't improve
    But aside from that, everything stayed basic
    I admit I was spoiled by my Pop's good paychecks
    That was the only connection, never really stressed it
    Just hung out with Pops on Saturday when he was sober
    Any other day N the friendliness was over
    Steppin' further, outta middle school, N here comes the turn for
    The worst, everything before this is what I yearn for

    Flashback On Progression {x2}

    High school, yeah, I went to school high
    Introduced to the streets, hustle to get by
    Most I've ever cried is when grandpa died
    This is shit is real, I want to turn back time
    Push that dime, smoke that L, move that brick
    Bush those not down for mine, stack them chips
    Griiiind, This is when shit hit the downward spiral
    Tears spread through my family like an infection of virals
    My mom cheated on my dad, never saw it coming
    Almost pushed the suicide, I ain't hide nothing
    You fucked with me, I'd bust ya shit
    Don't trust a bitch, During hard times I'd brush a hit
    My parents split up N it seemed like my mind opened
    Dreams seemed hopeless so I slept with my eyes open
    I had to move away from what I knew, Why ?
    Do my eyes get red now but I just can't cry
    I miss all my friends, I'm gonna graduate
    With strangers, N my anger collaborates
    With a pen, Always writing about my life
    Despite all the wrongs, I strive for right
    With my passion maxing to Christ like
    Proportions, I'm so on point Nasdaq can't handle my artist stock
    Flashback on Progression to now, '04. . I Am Now Hip Hop. .


    Replied To :
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117890
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...46#post1237146
    Last edited by FormulaMC; March 4th, 2004 at 07:04 PM

  2. #2
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    Wow, mad sleep.

  3. #3
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    Nice work - flow seemed off some but content kept me reading. You displayed the perspectives pretty well. The baby lines were comical. Well told story of your life. When you say "Flashback on Progression x2" do you mean simply saying that twice or was there supposed to be a chorus? If you're just saying that twice then I think you could maybe work on the chorus a little too. Pretty nice work - keep writing.

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    I'm dead.


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    Hence Forward

  4. #4
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    ^ ^ It's a chorus. . since each verse is 20 lines, I don't need a long, drawn out chorus, ya know ? Anyway, up.

  5. #5
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    I can see that you are developing a new style,I'm feeling this somewhat...
    You have lot of potenial in this topical area(I don't know if I should be judging people or not,,Since I'm still learning my self)anywho,I'm liking this..Peace..

  6. #6
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    i liked dis a lot i can relate to it....
    but two lines stood out the most and to me made dis whole piece

    My parents split up N it seemed like my mind opened
    Dreams seemed hopeless so I slept with my eyes open

    perfection....i found beauty in dose words..
    only bad about dis was vocab and sometimes flow wasnt there...
    otherwise best ive read today ...

    keep writing dawg peace
    hit mine up if u feel like it

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118654

  7. #7
    Hey MC watsup dawg!? I can see this is different from most of your pieces but interesting ina good way...I look i displayed the progression of life throughout this piece...the first verse had me chucklin in a lot of parts. Good job...

    You know i actually thought of doing a piece like this but never got aound to it...i think you did a good job in doing it...

    This seemed like it would sound pretty good in audio...at least i mean hearing it would be better than reading it...but its cool...good job Formula!
    "ELEMENCE" AKA "ELEETE"

    -=:The Lighter Side Of Darkness:=-


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  8. #8
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Flow was good. Middles of the last verse rhymed better, but besides that, i'd say work on rhyme scheme. This was an easy read.

    But I ain't mad, cause Momma, she was incredible
    Intellectual, My early childhood was daddyless but special

    ^nice line.

    This was decent, but kinda cotradictory in parts, cause you said your dad got big paycheck, then all of a sudden, your selling drugs to get by? Besides that, this was a cool drop. Keep doing what you do.

    Please drop feedback here:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17#post1246817
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

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