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  1. #1
    Pot 'Ed pot1ent's Avatar
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    16-25

    .

    .. I was bored one sunday morning .. parents were out all day ..
    .. Figured id watch some DVD's to while to hours away ..
    .. Flicked through the various titles, hoping dad had got some new ones ..
    .. " Seen .. Seen .. 'The Suicide Teens' ?! Cool, sounds gruesome" ..
    .. I popped the case, and opened up the DVD's disc tray ..
    .. Hit play .. the opening scenes showed a switch blade ..
    .. Cutting slowly through pale flesh .. & as the camera panned back ..
    .. It revealed a teenage girl, naked, clutching the hand that ..
    .. She'd cut moments before; the flesh now crimson tinted ..
    .. Dressed in blood. The cold steel blade within inches ..
    .. Of her forearms .. I couldnt stand another second of this ..
    .. So i hit stop, then paused before ejecting the disk ..
    . . .
    .. Later that night .. as i slept, i dreamed ..
    .. Or rather, fantasised, about the sights id seen ..
    .. There was something 'bout the flesh & the knife that cut it ..
    .. Something about the pain that i found highly erotic ..
    .. Home life was always controled, this was me breaking free ..
    .. It offered me an escape each time i played the scenes ..
    .. Repeatedly id watch, to ease me feeling bleak inside ..
    .. Relating the pain they caused themselves to my sleepless nights ..
    .. The older i grew, the tighter depression cuddled my soul ..
    .. And id cut Myself to escape all the troubles at home ..
    .. I saw it as punishment; & though home's where the heart is ..
    .. I reached a point i felt as if i lacked a heart to start with ..
    .. My rays of hope suspended from a shoe string harness ..
    .. Next to my coat of Arms; covered in cuts & scarred flesh ..
    .. Id always kept bottled up, never did have much to say ..
    .. But the longer life prolonged; the deeper those cuts became ..
    . . .
    .. Last year, a letter to me arrived at that same address ..
    .. Both my parents opted to open it, as i had left ..
    .. " Im sorry it had to come to this mom, but your 'loving husband' ..
    .. would wait till you were at work, then he'd make me touch him ..
    .. Ask him about the times he'd offer to wash my back ..
    .. Ask him about all the times he'd sit and watch me bath ..
    .. He's the reason im fucked up; the reason i feel like shit ..
    .. He's the reason i felt my only option was bleeding wrists ..
    .. The reason you're reading this .. the reason im down & out ..
    .. They say that Pain is Love, & i believe ive found that now ..
    . . .

    R.I.P
    Liam James Rollison
    1989 - 2004
    Pot` Ed.

    I dropped to show RM what hot was;
    And this faggot got Butterflies in his stomach the size of Mothra

    Your text is just another weak display
    One fist to your eye'll make it go through that black album remix phase. - Saviour Arraign

    <center>The Faculty</center>

  2. #2
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Awards 1-2 Punch HW Champion Legendary Member Legendary OM OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted
    I replied to ..

    Penskill last one
    Dev's 'the internet' one

    a couple others .. ehhh = /

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    This was dope, at first i thought you were just going to say shit about the movie so i was going to stop, then i thought you were saying how watching kids kill themself was making you horny or something then i was really gonna stop, but the intelligent always read 2 the end.

    This was a dope ass piece, good imagery and rhyme scheme not that many multies but i don't understand why people think every drop has to have them. Good shit
    I'd appreciate it if you return the favor.

  4. #4
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Awards 1-2 Punch HW Champion Legendary Member Legendary OM OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted
    ^ Drop a link and i'll respond, i always do. Hemnce - my threads usually get 93485098696 replies to them.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Very nice lil story Cam. I like reading your Open mics
    coz there is always that originality about them.
    Ima take big tips off your flow here. It was absoloutly
    flawless. The subject was touching, excuse the pun,
    but it is something that I wanted to read more &
    I could feel the emotion so much. Even tho you piss me
    off sometimes you really brought tears to the eyes w/ this.
    Its b/cause it is pretty much happening everyday &
    shit like this never comes out untill the victim has passed away.
    Anyways apart from me sounding like a pussy.
    Mad props.

    *When you told me about Multis, I dint listen that much
    but seeing your use here. I know what ya mean.
    I'm using them just not in the right way.

    Hit this up-
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118022

  6. #6
    beyond dope.
    Join Date
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    Very nice story telling,

    .. " Seen .. Seen .. 'The Suicide Teens' ?! Cool, sounds gruesome" ..
    .. I popped the case, and opened up the DVD's disc tray ..
    .. Hit play .. the opening scenes showed a switch blade ..

    .. lol @ using matt for this.. o.O ..

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    - Artificial Intelligence

  7. #7
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    I didn't know you were baron mynd...
    Anyway...

    Damn, this was ill. It started ok, but got much better as it went along. The last verse is pretty deep. Even the second verse. First verse has nice imagery, and sets up the rest of the story well. I like how you decided to tell the story with time. You know? Like the movie to you to cutting your self then flashback to what happened in the bathroom before you watched the movie, then back to the present. Rhyme scheme a little basic, but its still decent, and the flow is easy. This was and enjoyable read. Worth the time. Keep up the good work.

    Please drop feed here:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117801
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! southsideloco's Avatar
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    yo homie...this drop was hot tho it confused at the end but i understood after readin it more...newyayz this was strait dope...the imagery was there, nice vocab..no big ass words jus plain understandible words...n the flow was on point all the way like water...in otherwords dope piece n hope to see sum more..keep spittin

    Peace

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  9. #9
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...82#post1236782
    ^ Brix City
    I'll edit the others here as i do them ..

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  10. #10
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Awards 1-2 Punch HW Champion Legendary Member Legendary OM OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  11. #11
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Ill drop. Fantastic story telling here..something i would generally write about. Good multies, good flow, good structure. This reminded me of Penskills in a way. Only fault in this was...you arent Penskills! 10/10, I liked this. Return the favour.
    can I kick it?

  12. #12
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Awards 1-2 Punch HW Champion Legendary Member Legendary OM OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted
    I was here and archived in RB legends Looooooooooooooooong before Penskills even registered at this board. :^)

    I'll reply in a mo ..

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  13. #13
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    ahhhhhhh *vomits*
    I hate wrist slitting. shit seriously bugs me.
    but this was a good piece, decent storytelling....a little bit of a twist at the end, but not so much as a lot of pieces I've seen from you.
    What I would like to know is, any reason for the name? Liam James Rollison? because tehres usually something behind the names you use.
    as for everything else, great imagery, decent writer's voice yadayadayada.
    you know it was dope =)
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  14. #14
    Free, As A Bird
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    Thats why i never feed his shit...Cuz he knows allready...Hes only doing it to show off..lol...=P

    But, It was Nice man...Keep it up..Ill be lookin forward to readin more of your shit, YO..!!
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  15. #15
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Awards 1-2 Punch HW Champion Legendary Member Legendary OM OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted
    Liam James Rollison = the name of my nephew actually, Touch To Gold here at RB .. lol ..

    He's only 11 :^)

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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