[Wk3]Taktik vs Bare Knuckles

[Maven.]

Verses Due: Sunday, February 29th 2004
Voting Ends: Thursday, March 4th 2004

Topic: Into The Sunset

[Taktik]

Should be good ....

Check

[Bare Knuckles]

I`ll TRY and drop by Saturday, if not, I`ll drop Sunday.

[Bare Knuckles]

Come. Take a walk with me.

I’ve got something to show you that you ought to learn today
But if you’re the faint of heart, then you must turn away
Cause this walk is serious and will display the bitter truth
Of how the lamb is slaughtered and we each wear its knitted wool
I don’t know our destination, but bring a cistern to pour your cries in
Cause all I know is we’re heading for that sunset kissing the horizon
…
I saw a boy with a smile on his face, he was skipping and his heart was
Full of joy as he ran through the waves of the sprinkler in his garden
He ran round and round and was always merry, though
It’s too bad he was caught in a “wrong place, wrong time” scenario
Cause the next time I saw him I could barely recognise his face, his
Blood was staining the lawn, and his eyes were empty and vacant
A car came with an empty bottle of vodka inside of its trunk
Then it skidded over the road & hopped the sidewalk: the driver was drunk
The car flew into the garden and the poor boy was caught in its way
The boy’s parents will cry forever, but the drunk driver has nothing to say
…
I saw a soldier at the recruitment centre, he was eager to sign up
He was eager to hold a rifle for the beliefs he’d fight for
He wanted to be a singer, he still had his whole life ahead of him
But it’s too bad that his heart stopped beating and now he’ll never sing
Cause the next time I saw him he was dead in Iraq
He was lying lifeless in the Town Square with his head in his lap
A missile from an enemy launcher had left his chest in his back
And it had all happened when his platoon were caught in a trap
But now he’ll never open his eyes again, his soul is gone with the wind
And his mouth will never release the words he so wanted to sing
…
To the left and right, this street is littered with death
With scenes of bones and flesh in the gutter that I’ll never forget
This world is far from perfect, and everyday it’s getting colder
So how can I laugh now & cry later when everything is worth crying over?
We can’t escape death, and I can’t help wondering where the love went
But I can no longer look to the sun…


Cause this red sunset is just a reminder of the bloodshed.

[Taktik]

world once virgin
only to surface
as an evolution
loosing the purpose
to look to the skies
as I ask why is this?
to watch the sun rise
as do eyes of scientists

Start in Athenic times with chariots & stallions
& grand mystery earth...thunder struck with rebellion
while philosophy birthed, gods grew strict & exact
to hault any voyage of earth, to withold proof of it flat
as the stories grew, without leaving minds circular scape
ships were built, voyagers sent to prove earths circular shape
& the myths of dragons, deep sea creatures were birthed
only to prove ourselves wrong, along with many features of earth
to this very day, we hunger more, discovery, our appetite
from pictures of red rock, oceans floor, to hovering satellites
when really fear is fuel, & burns more than economy
eyes fixed to the silver seed above, & away from the poverty
yet we disect mother nature, infect her, causing her doom
& only to prove, our assumtions true, yet infecting her womb
As we clap for accomplishment, turn around & take a gaze
that mysterys will always be, an an infected child dies in pain
when really the mystery is the human race, & within
our bodies of rusted gold, with our ignorance, we win?
doubting advancement, we watch as dark days raises fear
as we dig deeper, travel further...when the mystery is here
as we look at solutions, leaders promise that & action
smiling with star stripe shields, as voyage provides satisfaction

& In life as is now, we only hide our troubles with fallacies
When we'd rather hide AIDS with travel, & war with mallace, see
as children cry, look above, witness earth's suprising hunt
we continue to send mother natures polluted seed...to a new home
in the sun


meh

[Mr.W.Rong]

Knucks- You came good as usual & gave a very interesting
story for me to grasp. The lil boy WAS at the wrong place
@ the wrong time as I later found out. Your flow was sometimes
choppy which kinda killed the flawless-ness that could have been
But to be Honest your Imagery quickly made up for it.
Overall a Very good piece.

Taktik- Surprised me here immensely. I expected some good writing
but your originality was real nice here. You gave a good account
& there was a metaphorical significance. You used the Evolution/
exploration account brilliantly. There was facts etc to bk your
piece up. Your flow stayed consistent.

Due to just liking that piece that extra bit more...

V/Taktik

*Be sure to check Me Vs Walter Wall pz

[TheUnderRated]

bare knuckles ...good emotion in this peice its that kind where when you write it your hand starts to shake, Good imagery the use of descriptive scenes was definitley there..you had a weird rhyme scheme but not all topicals/poetry type writings have to rhyme...some things to work on...you need to be more descriptive still....i wanted to know more you caught my attention and then when i was thirsting for more to read you moved on to the next scene....overall a very good peice .......felt it ..

Taktik.... Nice way to come at the topic very creative...gave a nice account of history..i enjoyed the higher level of vocab that was used in this peice and the overall scientific viewpoint that you took...your imagery could be a little better in this case...but it wasn't really an imagery kind of spit...it was more of a philisophical questioning make you think kind of thing....a very good peice man i felt....you should maybe work on puttin more emotion through words..even with scientific viewpoints it wouldn't hurt to add emotion to your piece....and don't type MEH at the end of your shit totally ruins the aura...the moment the feel.....

Good battle guys i don't wanna choose a winner but i think bare took it cause tatik lost his feel when he typed meh...and in my head i pictured him not puttin alot of emotion into this one.....either way guys no hate NICE BATTLE pz.

[Bare Knuckles]

^ So did you ACTUALLY vote, or what?

[Taktik]

1-1?

uppin

[Bare Knuckles]

Fair 'nuff.

Ups. Good battle by the way, Tak.

[fastforwords]

Up over closed.

[Taktik]

UP this battle or the kitty gets it

[fastforwords]

Draw.

Deciding vote-

both verses were dope. flow was on point, but i think it was
quite clear who came doper. (not to degrade anothers verse) but
i feel Bk edged this out. not easily, but its quite apparent with his
verses appeal, the language, flow, representation. vote : bk.

Bareknuckles wins.