Topical: The Internet

[Endeva.]

Its Electronically powered, at ya finger tip for hours… modem based
IP traced connection to the archives of a virtually placed space
That’s infecting the globe like the 60’s space race… without haste
Reflecting in the amount of peeps signing up each day…
…yes, alotta peeps work… but fuck that… I prefer to play
that’s my economics and from it I create and coordinate my way
With its addictive taste, web like base it captures passing prey
So remember be safe don’t stray cos an offender could be posing
Anyway… that’s my moral slipped cos its ultimately free roaming
Like nomad cloning, it’s a zone in where your name is chosen
And your profile atoning to you, your preferential settings
If you wish, fake confessions cos it’s a community of inventions
From hippy’s messing, progressing to the modern internet
The seated dialect fetching unity to each and every racial sect
Combining cultures without reject, its only boundary being supply
Cos without energy the line is lost… and the whole thing would die


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...057post1224057
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117095

[SMZ]

I think you should get drunk. This was alright but the couple pieces I saw of yours before were much better. Flow was pretty good and vocab was good as well but didn't really feel any emotion. Kinda short - seemed like it ended too soon - the closer didn't seem like a closer - just another line. Just some honest feed but keep writing and hit my Lamentations if you can.

[FreeThinker]

Yeh Dev this wants your best, even though it was still very good. As the post above said i felt the flow and the structure as well as the contence. But the thing missing was the motion that usually come with your drops. I mean some of your previous work was way more emotional... But i suppose this wouldnt be a subject you could really spill emotion into... unless talking on how it ruins your life.... keep doing it man

[Endeva.]

it aint supposed to be emotional... its the fucking internet...lol...

[SMZ]

"it aint supposed to be emotional"
I understand that - I'm just saying it didn't seem to me that you really cared about what you were saying. I didn't feel like you were involved with this piece - seemed more just like you wrote something because you had to - Like I said it would be good coming from most here - but based on what I saw in your last couple - this was a little of a letdown. Peace.

[Endeva.]

aight man... thnx for the honest reply... i'll get to your drop soon enough.....

[Baron Mynd]

Dope topic, lol. Not really a bad verse, content was decent but it would be sooooooooooo much better if you started using multi's man. Alsooooooo .. dont make your lines so long, it throws the flow off unless you rhyme on some Tonedeff tip when reading it .. lol .. I had to go over the opener three or four times before i found any type of flow ..

Its Electronically powered, at ya finger tip for hours

^ That flows, adding the extra bit throws it off. Just something you might want to work on. Not a bad piece, the first ive read from you, you've got potential. Fix up the flow - add multi's, work on the internals more - Give it more of a writers voice .. something to hold the readers attention and get your point across. Vocab doesnt matter at all, if anyone tells you different, ignore them.

Just my .02 :^ )

[Savir]

hmmm....

didnt really enjoy the topic..
it was kinda blah...no feeling to it..no emotion...
i see u made it that way...but i dont like....
vocab coo.....it flowed to me...except the opening..
so overall...i didnt really enjoy this...it all starts with the
topic and i didnt like....so it went blah from there...
but u got skills i see...please hit up original comp. in my sig..peace

[Baron Mynd]

I thought this topic was dope, im gonna jack the topic and write my own piece to it.


Look for it.

[Koalatee]

el oh el - dope sig ^ . . Get Touch to Gold on the remix tip.

[Lingwistik]

yah the topic was ok, but u made into sumthin good. good flow, good ryme, multies, it is tru, the world is pretty much run by the internet, the structure was good. good opener, i wasnt feelin the closer hat much but it was still a good verse, those are the only things i wasnt kinda feelin, the topic n the closer but other than that everythin is fine, peace

o and can u please give eedback on my open mic, thanx

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...60#post1224960

[Endeva.]

thnx peeps.... think today ill write sumthin emotional... show that i can, when i aim to...lol.... so hit it when its done...then tell me i got no emotion....j/k... lmao...