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Thread: The Struggle

  1. #1
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    The Struggle

    Sykotic Recordes
    Presents…
    Sylem- The Struggle
    Beat: Xzibit-Paparazzi

    [Verse 1]
    The struggle begins wit ever rhyme I have left,
    Wake from the debts and choke out of breath,
    Every step I collapse at the break of death,
    Kept the theft and listen sound grows profoundly deaf,
    Air filled with a deadly disease,
    I displease, & comes across a gentle breeze,
    Clock stops clicking when u see what I mean,
    Walk on my knees wit lyrical expertise,
    Im unease listening to the board of trustee’s,
    Children stand at ease hope learning ABC’s.
    Trust my expertise when I speak Annamese,
    Soldiers painted red as they die in groups of three,
    Read the precious books of my life’s creed and see
    The struggle continues living throughout me,
    Life gets harder and lauder wit my headphones blaring,
    Life’s more twisted than a rollerblade bearing,

    [Chorus by Syko] times 2
    It’s a game, living in the main frame
    Always stuck tha same, "nuttin moves"(nuttin moves)
    It’s a game, living in the main frame
    Always stuck the same "you disapprove"(you disapprove)

    [Verse 2]
    Like livin’ ina house surrounded without swearing,
    Constantly ridiculed cuz cloths I be wearing,
    Comparing me to gangstas saying im uncaring,
    People don’t see the deep malicious pain,
    Pain so deep it over rides my vertebral vein,
    Insane like seeing a freight train driving in the fast lane,
    Obtain lyrics and refrain from use of words I’d retain,
    Prosecutors from other side try and sustain,
    Trying to make my voice known and reach the Ukraine,
    But the struggles increases without the riddle,
    Gang fights breakout and children stuck in the middle,
    Amphetamines suppressant appetite for an emcee,
    To help my hunger beat and retreat the man in the street,
    Just to prove I still keep my rhymes elite,
    Conceit, of dead heat for defeat of grass covered concrete,
    Never catch me offbeat as I emotionally secrete,

    [Chorus by Syko] times 2
    It’s a game, living in the main frame
    Always stuck tha same, "nuttin moves"(nuttin moves)
    It’s a game, living in the main frame
    Always stuck the same "you disapprove"(you disapprove)

    [Verse 3]
    The struggle softens as I make my rhymes harden,
    Imparting the situation and mark territory charting,
    From day one realized theres no restarting,
    My skills expand and harden and look back on the starting,
    Remember keep ya head up when u at the bottom,
    When u at the top u must always the leaning ottum,
    Watch the record hop and never be forgotten,
    Never boughten into joining the rap world and misbegotten,
    Trying to pretend that u never meant to offend,
    Take this unnoticed trend and blend wit knowledge I impend,
    Commend this journey and the struggles have ended…

    “I never thought… id come this far, and throw it all away,
    It’s not gunan happen,
    Because my demons and my struggles…are gone…”

    [Chorus by Syko] times 2
    It’s a game, living in the main frame
    Always stuck tha same, "nuttin moves"(nuttin moves)
    It’s a game, living in the main frame
    Always stuck the same "you disapprove"(you disapprove)



    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112298
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...75#post1219075
    Last edited by KanseRous; February 26th, 2004 at 12:22 PM
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

  2. #2
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    yo man dats some real deep shit

  3. #3
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    Thanx man, i Appreciate ur comment. Truly! Thanks for taking the time to read it.


    Sylem
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

  4. #4
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    yeah man its coo it was hell long but i read it

  5. #5
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    You need to leave 2 links of replies you left or this will get closed, Thanks.

    But yeah this was alright here...Had some good emotion in it....The structure was alright, could be fixed up a bit though but still good....The flow was alright, it stayed on pretty good through out it....but overall alright piece.

  6. #6
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    why we gotta leave a link?

  7. #7
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    yo ill get right on that, but right now i gotta do some hoemwork, i dont wanan give quick judged feedback on peeps. i will as soon as possible. yo credz.. did ya read it to the beat???

    if u didnt.. ud see the flow and the structure fits the beat PERFECTLY! i wrote to the beat exactlly how it flowed. ima be recording this peice to the beat.. so before ppl make a judgement.. read it to the beat...please.. u will see how ill it already is. Than u, i will get on those links ASAP right after my homework.

    Sylem
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

  8. #8
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    Remember ya'll read it to the beat... u will see it flows right and the structure is right for this song. Thanx
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

  9. #9
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    Flow was quite good but I'd have to say vocab could use some work - not in that you needed to advance it but just that some words seemed thrown in there just because they could rhyme and they didn't really progress the thought or in some cases even broke it. Just giving you some honest feedback - so don't take offence. Liked your concept but as stated above thought you strayed from it some throughout. Pretty good chorus as well. Nice read overall and keep writing. Hit something in my sig if you can - preferably Lamentations

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    I'm dead.


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    Hence Forward

  10. #10
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    Thanx for the feedback, i appreciate ne 1 who actually took the time to actually read it.

    Sylem
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

  11. #11
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    I actually took my time to read this...this wasn't all that bad...it was borderline average..You probaly thinking<-Whatever,you probaly suck what do you know!->
    anywho...I can see that you have used your rhyming dictionary you got for X-mas..
    your flow was okay and your wordplay was too basic...your sturucture...you said read to a beat?...remember this is text! a beat is not included in this section...I'm sure you'll reply by saying..whatever! you don't know what you are talking about...

  12. #12
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    This was an alright piece.

    Good imagination and the flow worked well.
    Vocab worked nicely to the beat and this will make a dope recordin.

    Keep droppin
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  13. #13
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    Actually Penskills.. i feel ya on that subject completely. BUT as for the flow or vocab. i used simple understanding to make the song that more imaginary to the readers appeal. sometimes the most simplist things make that much of a song that much better. but i completely understand ur comments and feedback.. and i agree..to a certain extenet(which i just explained why).

    I wanted everyone who read this and whoever listens to it.. to understand the imaginary pictures that are painted and the hidden msgs understood. Its a deep song and i chose to use a structure so simple that it actually goes along way in the understanding, the reading, and listening part. this whole song is ment to be spitten to beat. i didnt wanan spit something no one understood for a msg i wanted to get across to be CLEAR!.

    i hope everyone understands that.

    Thank u LM for the Feedback. i appreciate ur comments.

    so remember ya'll... for some topics, the most simplist things.. go a long way..
    remember that for certain heartfelt songs... u want the msg to be understood, not misjudged...

    Sylem
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

  14. #14
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    uppin^^^
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

  15. #15
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    Uppin this!
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

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