... As The World Turns...

[Negative]

We live life day...by day not thinkin of when u wake up u might be dead...this is just whats going on with the world...i noticed...


...I can still remember when the parks was played safe...
...All the local heads chillin' out there until way late...
...Never had to hesitate though many sprayed weight...
...Long as they knew ya name then you stayed straight...
...Spittin' a mouthful... for a crowd hood rats helpful...
...Nowdays they jack you with box cutters and scalpels...
...Under microscopes really ain't a damn thing change...
...Funny how the future constantly rearrange the game...
...No face the same, streets is stained with mirrors blame...
...More kids growin' up with a deep fear of their brain...
...Can't think for self, in the park thinkin' drinks will help...
...Mom's home scarred they not know her feelings felt...
...Lives put in risk... soon enough they cease to exist...
...Not saying don't enjoy life kids but don't get dismissed...
...Fam's will be missed... revolving in the full rotation...
...You can dodge death but to bullets there be no evasion...
...Happiness decreasin'... safe paths we always preachin'...
...Understand your life is not owned... ya just leasin'...

Enjoy. and Critize.

GhosT Writer.

[ELEMENCE]

This was a pretty dope piece man.....I was off on the subject at times but you spoke a lot of truth in this.....I can appreciate stuff like that.....your words were great in expressing this....keep it up....hit up my latest.....the one in my sig.....thanks man

[SMZ]

Nice flow - you loaded it with rhymes but I didn't notice any that seemed forced. Vocab was straight. Nice topic - in just a few lines you got your point across. Keep writing. Hit something in my sig, preferably Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't yet.

[Baron Mynd]

Not bad man, flow was straight as i read it - wording was cool .. transitions were a little sketchy i thought - multi's were there, just try not to force them as much, let them come naturally. Its the content that matters more, waaaaaay more than the multi's in a piece,try to give them an equal balance.B You rounded it off on a high note, i liked that. A little short in my opinion, would of liked to see you expand on this but ehhh .. for what it was it was cool.

Not a bad effort man. =)

[Negative]

Thankz............

[inspire]

Wow, this was wack. =P

Leave short shitty replies and you shall get them in return.

pz.