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Thread: Da Vinci.

  1. #1
    Fucking SEXY! Bare Knuckles's Avatar
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    Da Vinci.

    Picture...


    Authored by authenticity, the papyrus hides in shades of grey
    And now the blues die and the once blossoming reds fade away



    I was made this way: tone def from every common note
    All because the withered brush couldn’t deliver a proper stroke
    So now I’ve got a white sheet to hide me as I’m a tragedy
    But still I wait for the day I’m unveiled and crowned a masterpiece
    ...I waited and waited, being encircled by looming vultures
    But was finally greeted by a whimpering sky that boomed with thunder
    Its harsh winds smudged the colour ‘til there was no hope to dry
    As an intimidating rain precipitated from the broken skies
    There was no sunshine, no shelter to stow me away
    Just clouds whose silhouette made me grow cold and decay
    The once beautiful hues faded with no struggle or fuss
    Blistering the canvas ‘til there was nothing but a puddle of mud
    And when my artist found me, he couldn’t even think or react
    All he saw was his dreams of a masterpiece sink through the cracks...
    ...Of the canvas, and the broken rooftop that had dwindled his talents
    But he couldn’t stay like this, so he picked up the palette
    Then grabbed the blotched pastels he had dug from the dirt
    And placed the canvas against the wall with his feet in the Earth
    He hated unfinished business, so he suffered in hurt
    But no matter his disappointment, he still published this work
    ...At the unveiling of his art, I was set on a board onstage
    The once white sheet hiding me was now red from the core of pain
    My artist’s forehead poured with shame as he got on his seat
    Then I was unveiled, and everyone burst into laughter at the mockery...
    ...Displayed before them, and feeling blinded from the light’s rays
    I was now in the public’s eye, gripping the heat from its bright flame
    The room grew colder and I must bare the screams it brings
    As the papyruses kneaded strings unfolded from the heated ink
    I panicked, beads of sweat fell and softly I prayed...
    ...That the Heaven’s would open with rain and wash me away
    So my life as an art form is over, I’m forced to be traipsing this land
    And I - the artist’s lifetime work entitled “The creation of man” -
    Was a catastrophe, a waste of the artist’s talent and nothing more
    So God, I think it’s time you go back to the drawing board...

    Because man was a failure.


    ...Perfect
    It's me - Bare Knuckles!
    Yes.. the rumours are true.

    Alias: Atheist.

  2. #2
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    I'd copy and paste my reply from RnR, but that would be pointless.
    This is one of the best pieces I've read in ages, flawless flow, beautiful wordplay and the whole concept/metaphor/orgasm was just fucking wicked.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bare Knuckles
    ...I waited and waited, being encircled by looming vultures
    But was finally greeted by a whimpering sky that boomed with thunder
    Its harsh winds smudged the colour ‘til there was no hope to dry
    As an intimidating rain precipitated from the broken skies
    That is really good imagery.
    Amazing piece dude.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  3. #3
    Fucking SEXY! Bare Knuckles's Avatar
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    What's your name on RNR?
    It's me - Bare Knuckles!
    Yes.. the rumours are true.

    Alias: Atheist.

  4. #4
    ...practice makes poetry
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    It takes at least two reads to really grasp the scope in this piece...well done though... i see a lot of care in the craft... You should try making some intrinsic metaphors go deeper... im just not sure if the weather, and thus nature, is the culprit of man's imperfection or just a vehicle for imagery... I mostly unsure because I feel like im lead to believe the Artist/God figure is the one failing the Painting/Man... How does the Rain with in?

    keep doin what you're doin

    {Peace}

  5. #5
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bare Knuckles
    What's your name on RNR?
    Jax
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  6. #6
    Fucking SEXY! Bare Knuckles's Avatar
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    ^ Haha, word.
    It's me - Bare Knuckles!
    Yes.. the rumours are true.

    Alias: Atheist.

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Nic Caesar's Avatar
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    Ayo dunny this ish was MADDD NICE... it took me like three reads to get the whole ish... but mean imaginary was out there... i mean really... i don't know... this was nice... couldn't get iller lol yes it could.. flow was there... everything.... good ish

    Peep my ~A Bullet for yo thoughts~

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    The Forgotten UnMasked Legend... Is Back...

  8. #8
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    dope
    alway dropping goodness..
    and this piece was ill..
    the whole piece showcased your talent and hit a chord with my brains thinking process
    the references to the canvas etc were nice as hell
    i take it the verse was a metaphor for the life of the person

    'The room grew colder and I must bare the screams it brings
    As the papyruses kneaded strings unfolded from the heated ink
    I panicked, beads of sweat fell and softly I prayed...
    ...That the Heaven’s would open with rain and wash me away
    ^ill..feeling that


    'The once beautiful hues faded with no struggle or fuss
    Blistering the canvas ‘til there was nothing but a puddle of mud
    And when my artist found me, he couldn’t even think or react
    All he saw was his dreams of a masterpiece sink through the cracks...
    ^that also

    the long bar scheme was masterfully used..
    props BK

    please reply to my Anopheles piece..
    slept on
    appreciate it
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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  9. #9
    Fucking SEXY! Bare Knuckles's Avatar
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    Bounce.
    It's me - Bare Knuckles!
    Yes.. the rumours are true.

    Alias: Atheist.

  10. #10
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    consistent multis and well written at that. stunning originality to this peice, strong vocab but not over the top. but the picture you were painting (excuse the pun) was excellent, your use of imagery really brought this piece to life.

    good work man. keep on posting.

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