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Thread: Till Eye Die Anthem (struggles)

  1. February 12th, 2004, 12:14 AM #1
    Masahiko.
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    Till Eye Die Anthem (struggles)

    {Hook.. i guess lol}
    I know its hard...
    to step in a kids body with a mind of a man..
    I know its hard...
    but god send me a message.. a sign of a plan..
    I know its hard...
    to keep away ya skill an overflowing wanigan..
    I know its hard...
    But these are my struggles and i will conquer them..


    My song my athem compressed with emotion
    All those past years did it have a different notion
    Why fight for somthing not there.. i gotta stay focused
    Please believe.. I'd Rather state this motion
    Sealed within my soul, I dont hold the answer
    My uncle died when i was 10.. no not from cancer
    Suicide...... his thought of life was rancor
    I still stay with my pen and paper.. my deadliest weapon
    I rep my asian backround.. pride till death kid
    My life normal, but consolidated with conflicts
    I'm a rebel, a hero no i cant let this harm stick
    Pain Sorrow and Hate all together condensed
    Math im x......... the way i never stay constant
    I'm never noticed matter a fact im impersonal
    Nobody knows or cares and that is the worst of all
    First Born........ does this mean im first to fall
    Am i cursed........ or is everyone ill-fated
    If I ever have a chance to make a difference i will state it
    This is my song, my anthem, in epic porportions
    I speak the truth im not fake I will inform this
    This is me, my rules........... i will inforce this........
    Please Believe

    {Hook.. i guess lol}
    I know its hard...
    to step in a kids body with a mind of a man..
    I know its hard...
    but god send me a message.. a sign of a plan..
    I know its hard...
    to keep away ya skill an overflowing wanigan..
    I know its hard...
    But these are my struggles and i will conquer them..
    Last edited by Masahiko.; February 14th, 2004 at 12:25 AM
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  2. February 12th, 2004, 01:41 AM #2
    Masahiko.
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    up it jeez feedback would be nice
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  3. February 12th, 2004, 01:46 AM #3
    Ace of Aces
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    well done. the beginning was the best part of this i'd say. some of
    the rhymes were lost but it still made for a good verse. i was actually
    impressed by it, seeing your record. but then again, records don't
    mean diddly squat if you think about it. but i got several images in my
    head from this one. the structure and flow was good, with the exception
    of rhymes missing. the vocab was nice, and i felt the topic, it had heart.

    hit this up in return plz
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113569

    keep writing. pz
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  4. February 12th, 2004, 02:23 AM #4
    Masahiko.
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    up it
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  5. February 12th, 2004, 04:48 PM #5
    Masahiko.
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    up it
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  6. February 12th, 2004, 05:48 PM #6
    Masahiko.
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    feedback pleez
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  7. February 12th, 2004, 05:51 PM #7
    M.Perror Ming
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    This was a good Open Mic. I like how you put your struggles into it. It was good and had good vocab.
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  8. February 12th, 2004, 06:18 PM #8
    Masahiko.
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    up again
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  9. February 12th, 2004, 06:27 PM #9
    Nic Caesar
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    This is feedback...

    lol jk... nah this was actully ok... vocab lacked... but it was nice dunny... i mean i read it so it had to be atleast decent... (lol jk)... i'm such a joker...

    Peep out my H.E.l.l. OM ... its nice too

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  10. February 14th, 2004, 12:20 AM #10
    Brother Blue Collar
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    nice drop had a good flow and nice vocab while i was reading it it was like struggles were mine it gave me that type of feeling
    I believe i'm making some good music, please just wait for me




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  11. February 14th, 2004, 01:00 AM #11
    SMZ
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    Several nice lines, liked the emotion you gave. As mentioned there were some missing rhymes. Liked this line:
    Math im x......... the way i never stay constant

    ...and what's a "wanigan"?

    Hit something in my sig - thnx. (Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't yet preferably)

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  12. February 14th, 2004, 01:10 AM #12
    Masahiko.
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    a word..
    definetion..-a chest for cherished items
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  13. February 14th, 2004, 09:05 AM #13
    G£s†U®£s
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    o man this is better than i thought.....lol.......hellz keep reppin azn pride.......yo this shyt was hot, but i didnt know wat a wanigan was untill i read the post^^^lol.....overall i liked it so it pretty good.....check out mah collab with krogenix called....was that ur aimmm..trust me its worth reading
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  14. February 15th, 2004, 01:33 AM #14
    Masahiko.
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    hey hey thanx for the feedback lets get some more...
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