(Soft Focus vs (V.O.T.S) Topical 'Emotion vs RythmicTendecies'

[rule]

Topic: Lint In My Pocket
Check In Due: Saterday Jan. 14
Verses Due: Tuesday Feb. 17

Good Luck

Edit. RT..thanks...lol..

['PercepTion']

shouldn't it be...FEb 14th..?

anyway, i'm checkin' in....will have my verse up by sunday/monday.

[Forlorn]

in................................................ ..........

['PercepTion']

got to be one of the simplistic and basically worst topicals i've done..."Lint in my pocket" WTF!!!...lol....

A Innocent lint spiralling into the depths of my pocket...
I’ll admit that it is influenced by all the satanic presence around it...
It sits, blissfully unaware of the evil presence, quietly surrounding...
All it’s attempts of godliness and white light are rebounding...
The pressure is mounting, Is it really of that extreme importance...
Or just a grain of sand, in a beach world with no chance to advance...
A loser, exiled from the wonderfulness of the admired machine...
Considered Obscene, & Thrown into a war like a marine...
It battles, to escape my boundaries, to run away and be free...
But the lint is blind, the ‘cave’ is deep and it cannot see...
It’s considered a nuisance; It lies in a mood of mulish defiance...
A terrible creation of the dick rode & praised Kitchen appliance...

*sigh*....good luck emo dawg.

[Forlorn]

nice drop, ill try and drip tonght it dont understand the topic though....lol.....

[Forlorn]

Oh ok had to ask inspire what lint was but i did it.

I dont want any herb votes, just read mine pls and if you dont understand something ask me, theres a few things hidden, but just read it okay, i sorta liked it, thanks

..This world is full of many things that are considered expired..
..Full of many uncomplex theory's that should have been wired..
..So when a bum on the street isnt spared any change..
..You think that its not the possobility of aliens that make this place strange..
..So take Little cute Johhny, Never fucken had a chance to grow-up..
..But had to do stuff for drugs that'd make anyone throw up..
..Sell himself, his body on these hard streets, take these hard beats..
..Get knocked down but left with no pride to get himself up, get going..
..But meet little suzy, she said she'd do anything just to keep the money flowing..
..So when she's ' working' she pictures a cool place with the wind 'blowing'..
..A flower that grew from out of the concrete stomped on and became a thorn..
..So back to reality why was she cursed when she was first born..
..it's a simple question, why do we reguard these people as less then worthless..
..When we started this mess, poverty can be fixed, lint can be cleaned..
........Or it should be-But being normal can always be dreamed........

[Brethren]

hmmmm...

I give this battle to Emotion, Rythmic had really nice vocabulary, but flow was really off. Concept's are good, but Emotion got you thinking more. I didn't like Rythmic's very last line, kinda makes you wander off. Both good imagery, Emotion's finishing line was really good.

[Forlorn]

thanks, yeah i wasnt aiming at vocab, just telling a good story

[Prince Adem]

At first I was leaning towards Rhythmic... his vocab blew me away, and I love vocab... I kinda liked his fairly abstract approach, and his rhyming was decent... What I noticed missing was the flow... I tried rhyming it back to myself 3 different ways and it still didn't sound good... I also don't think it was good that he went for a witty ending when the rest of his verse was quite dark...


Emotion had decent vocab, but nothing on Rhythmic... but Emo's depth lies in his storytelling... he had a more direct approach, and I didn't know what a lint was either... Emo's verse made me understand it better, so that's a plus... his flow was also better, although Rhythmic's lines were easier to read...

In the matter of multies, neither had many... so I'll say tie... overall I liked this topical alot... learnt a new word too... but I'm gonna vote for Emotion

Vote = Emotion

Good piece from both, good luck in the future

[Forlorn]

uppin............................................. ...........

[rule]

Uppen this battle....don't sleep people

[Forlorn]

upps.............................................. .................................................. .............

[ILLunatic]

Damn.. Hot shit

RythmicTendecies
A Innocent lint spiralling into the depths of my pocket...
I’ll admit that it is influenced by all the satanic presence around it...
It sits, blissfully unaware of the evil presence, quietly surrounding...
All it’s attempts of godliness and white light are rebounding...
The pressure is mounting, Is it really of that extreme importance...
Or just a grain of sand, in a beach world with no chance to advance...
A loser, exiled from the wonderfulness of the admired machine...
Considered Obscene, & Thrown into a war like a marine...
It battles, to escape my boundaries, to run away and be free...
But the lint is blind, the ‘cave’ is deep and it cannot see...
It’s considered a nuisance; It lies in a mood of mulish defiance...
A terrible creation of the dick rode & praised Kitchen appliance...

Blah..
To much vocab
Imagery not that great
Alot of wordplay
But... honestly
i couldnt' get an image
of what your saying..
Overall.....11/20

Emotion
..This world is full of many things that are considered expired..
..Full of many uncomplex theory's that should have been wired..
..So when a bum on the street isnt spared any change..
..You think that its not the possobility of aliens that make this place strange..
..So take Little cute Johhny, Never fucken had a chance to grow-up..
..But had to do stuff for drugs that'd make anyone throw up..
..Sell himself, his body on these hard streets, take these hard beats..
..Get knocked down but left with no pride to get himself up, get going..
..But meet little suzy, she said she'd do anything just to keep the money flowing..
..So when she's ' working' she pictures a cool place with the wind 'blowing'..
..A flower that grew from out of the concrete stomped on and became a thorn..
..So back to reality why was she cursed when she was first born..
..it's a simple question, why do we reguard these people as less then worthless..
..When we started this mess, poverty can be fixed, lint can be cleaned..
........Or it should be-But being normal can always be dreamed........

Eh..
Nice flow
Decent imagery
Decent wordplay
Stuck to the topic nicely
Overall.....13/20


V/Emotion
He had a lil bit more imager
Than RT did...Nice battle tho

[Forlorn]

thanks uppin............................................. ......

[Forlorn]

comeon lets get this finished
...................