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Thread: Anopheles

  1. #1
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    Anopheles

    when that pupal skin splits..

    i tread water and wait to dry
    in a godlike manner
    this pond was once my manor
    but now i must fly
    and now i'm despised
    cos me and my army make the deaf privilleged
    we'll pillage a village
    or two
    the villains who witness that blood is not red but blue
    and chances are
    you've bled when we used a tube
    and left your veins abused
    i'm a noisy acupuncturist
    and you're thinkin
    i ought to have you done for this
    but whats the harm?
    its just a bit of blood between friends
    from your leg,face or arm
    and if i've been spotted you might just extent
    a hand
    resulting in a bloodied palm
    but the sullied calm is short
    the swarm will attack from their aeronautical fort
    but of course
    you can net the windows and spray a myst of molecular police
    however
    there'll always be a hum to wake you from your sleep
    and the swat team keeps
    missing by a mile
    and thus
    in a beat of wings..
    i spot a body of warmth
    standing in the crop
    his young face mourns as he meddles in the plot
    and the dark sunken eyes drop
    as his skinny extended stomach
    demands and summons a square meal
    but bare heeled
    he conceals his hunger and almost beckons my bite
    so i strike plunging my proboscis
    into the bony skull of lost wits
    i plunge my needle nose
    skin deep and more
    into the dermatitis of woes
    and the nectar flows
    into my belly
    which is rapidly swelling
    now i've turned red
    and the dark skin from which i've fed
    doesnt notice a thing
    cos the sting swells up after i've had a drink
    and it wouldnt be fair if i took without giving

    cos that living person i just bit
    was a kid
    and now he's sick
    he just doesnt know it
    injected with an infectious disease
    he'll join the 1 million others who are buried
    as their families shed tears of grief
    at the grave side crumpled at the knees...


    dont share fuckin needles?
    tell that to the African children of the fields
    who's crop yield..
    was Malaria
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  2. #2
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
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    iight...

    Strong message your getting through there... Its so true...

    Imagery was good... You can picture him standing there...

    A like the flip on how the crop was the disease... Make me think... How fortunate we are in countries such as the UK and USA...

    Good vocabulary... Really made the piece hotter... Good...
    Flow wasnt consistent... Your rhyme scheme was very different... But it worked...

    Im guessing your experimenting...

    Keep it up man... Nice piece with a strong message...

    Hit up the links in my sig...

    Thanks...

    Pz...




    [/i]
    Last edited by Freeman; February 9th, 2004 at 11:29 AM

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  3. #3
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    Very nice - I liked alot. Well described situation with strong closing point. I don't see anything to really criticize so I'll leave it at that.

    Looking for some hits on my "Broken Metamorphisis"

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    I'm dead.


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    Hence Forward

  4. #4
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    This should not be slept on...this piece was Dope!...your imagery was out of these world..and just like your last piece..you made it very easy for a reader to follow you..yes your scheme was a bit different but it worked out well...you vocab was good..this flowed very well..very nice...peace...I'm in Eclipse now.... ^^

  5. #5
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    .,.
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  6. #6
    beyond dope.
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    and chances are
    you've bled when we used a tube
    and left your veins abused
    i'm a noisy acupuncturist
    and you're thinkin
    i ought to have you done for this
    but whats the harm?
    its just a bit of blood between friends
    from your leg,face or arm





    Whooooohooooo, .. nice story mate = ) .. to bad you cant be in the european championship .. 6-0 o.O .. meh but this was good man, good vocab strong immagery, concept, well used & written, very nice!, ..Up this yellow duck.

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    - Artificial Intelligence

  7. #7
    G-Duck.
    Guest
    Shit this was some dope shit!,.. =)

  8. #8
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    Damn .. First off .. Let me say this .. Vocab and word usage was very high above average .. A couple times caught me like "Wat the eff?" .. LoL .. Had to re-read a couple parts a couple of times .. With that said .. This piece was dope .. I definitely felt how U explained and portrayed a simple thing so complexly .. And it felt as though U got it off so easily .. Endin' juss killed the piece man .. I was definitely feelin' this as a whole .. But to be true I didn't know wat the hell the title meant .. LoL .. But I guess I understand it now cuz I do understand the piece .. Keep writin' man .. Ur stuff's gettin' better everytime I read a piece from U .. One

    A.i

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    *Click one of ^those to check out my music and shit

  9. #9
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    upping
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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  10. #10
    Newbie
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    Man I loved this piece. VERY creative. Mosquito's perspective. Loved the line about "the mist of mollecular police" lol that shit was crazy. Best thing Ive read today. true hip hop...dope rhyming....dope concept.....dope message. Outstanding! I loved it.

    if you get a chance peep my verse tell me what you think.

  11. #11
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    upper cut
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  12. #12
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    wouldnt mind a reply.
    or reply plural
    drop link and i'll reply bak
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  13. #13
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    dope as fuck!.
    legend
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  14. #14
    the medicine man
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    nice piece the immagery was dope,
    i liked the short structure,
    nice and creaitve, not boring to read either like some OM's are.


    i liked the point of view it was from dope peace man!!

    peace

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    leave feed and a link i'll return it


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  15. #15
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    nice vocab..content creative..nice writing skillz....imagery was nice as stated above..quality peice here...good work


    rep1
    My WRECKord...::74-11-54 TkoZ

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