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View Poll Results: Rate 1-4 1dope -4 go home based on diff aspects...

Voters
2. You may not vote on this poll
  • Dope

    1 50.00%
  • Needs work

    1 50.00%
  • wtf?

    0 0%
  • go home!

    0 0%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: James Jr. 1st open mic....

  1. #1
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    Exclamation James Jr. 1st open mic....

    I'll get straight to it......

    (you can tell I'm new to the site)

    I.
    You've never met a sick lyricist
    You need to sit here and think
    Nothing is as severe as this
    I'm here for the kids
    ~
    Who said I had to spread negativity?
    It's been plaguing me since a teen, with rage and defensive speech
    Just let me be... Just let me breathe...
    ~
    It is as clear as the sky
    I'm here to survive, don't come near...come LIVE
    They're fearing my vibe... Their fear is described
    ~
    I'm a product of consumption
    Too much chronic, thought of as nothing
    Until I got up & was dumping, then they got slaughtered for fronting
    ~
    No compensation...! this is my inauguration
    Stick to your job or occupation
    I'm flipping the script, I'm dropping the statements
    Giving crooked cops the payments
    To look over my Glocks just in case this....
    ~
    Turns to bitter conflicts, sinister contents
    So I let my thoughts reflect, considerate, confidence
    Bullets riddle your dawg's chest... shot to death
    You lost, what's the cost of death?


    James Jr.

    (need beats!!!) so.. was done to "New York, New York" Instrumental
    Snoop, feat. Dogg Pound
    Last edited by JamesJr.; January 30th, 2004 at 05:22 AM

  2. #2
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    Exclamation 2nd edition

    2nd edition

    II.
    Imagine every kid rapping, anything could happen
    Plenty of bling, plenty of platinum
    But really every kid can't have some
    ~
    Dawg just conserve your energy,
    You'll get burned relentlessly, I'm here forever to beef
    Don't ever intend to think you're as clever as me
    I'm a mother fu*&%$g pedigree,
    ~
    Designing rhyming schemes, On point like 9's and beams
    Cowards still rhyme with fiends... trying to get free
    But are barely alive to breathe
    ~
    Don't waste potential time with this,
    Noone wants to lose
    It's a case of defensive rhyming sh*t,
    Something noone wants to choose
    ~
    I tried to live righteous, yet have made many mistakes to date
    My mind just likes this, but has the hate to change today
    ~
    I didn't make the game,
    I only enabled it... so I could rape the game
    Only this rage and pain, could reveal the way I've changed
    My name is ....James

    James Jr
    (AGAIN no instrumentals) so... done to WW3

  3. #3
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    N.E.England
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    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    you definatley need to work on evening ya bars out, the syllable count, so it has a smoother flow to it, some of what ya was saying was decent, but other places were weak, try to be consistant,....
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  4. #4
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    44
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    Your Structure Lacks....and It Seams As You Disdnt Milk Your Idea But Instaed Dragged It.you Are Not Garbage But Do Need To Elivate Keep At It.
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  5. #5
    Banned
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    Mifflinburg, PA
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    Battle Record
    12-1
    This was ok.....strucuture needs fixed up a lot......you had multies through out the piece which made it a better read....had some ok vocab....the content in those were..ok...but just keep elevating and you will get there man....and keep at it.

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! DeadlySpitta's Avatar
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    Warsyde, Clipzburgh, Pistolvania
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    10-4
    it was nice... u just need to even out ur bars and work on ur structures like tha others said. other than that, nice shit u got here. peep my new piece which is tha preview of a new song ne and my boyz are workin on. holla back.
    Free Agent

  7. #7
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    Exclamation 3rd edition

    I tell em if you want it then come get it,
    Don’t get it twisted,Young and gifted, I’m the one spitting
    The sh*t is vicious
    That’s it you’re done bi*ching, I’m the one coming committed
    The mother fu*ker with the quick decisions,
    Bitch just listen...
    ~
    It was written since the day I was born!
    This sh*t is wisdom made from the way I was formed
    Through the days in the shade and the rain in the storm
    When I went through the pain and I mourned
    But the change would come forward
    ~
    Enlightening my life, Tonight is the night
    I planted the seed writing to fight
    Fighting to write,
    Not to be igniting the pipes
    It’s tight if it’s tight
    ~
    Now I’ll tell you why I hate the news,
    Besides the *fake staged debated views
    Fuck the ratings and reviews , Contemplating the way too change it
    But I think it’s too late to do, They’ve manipulated entire states
    Brainwashed the youth!*
    ~
    So to me their reputation is dogshit
    They owe a debt to the nation
    Not nonsense
    I’m sick of the constant conflicts
    Fuck Saddam bitch
    Where’s Bin Laden ?*
    ~
    Try giving the people some positive details
    Instead of just convicts that need jail
    With no conscience
    Your context is beef swelled
    Claiming to be honest when everyone knows you’re retail
    ~
    Corporate agenda passed down the pyramid of power
    Of course it’s to condemn us you can hear it in an hour
    It’s dictatorial distortion bow down fear it and cower
    Unseen by the ones sworn to defend us from the imperial cowards
    ~


    Peotry posts
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111087
    Please give me feed back

    1st battle
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111490

    1st Cypher
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...66#post1150366



    James Jr. @On The Spot Productions 2004
    Last edited by JamesJr.; February 2nd, 2004 at 04:09 PM

  8. #8
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    Lightbulb Is this improved??

    Feed back?

    On this verse
    improved?

    FAKE EMCEES
    Last edited by JamesJr.; February 4th, 2004 at 06:14 AM

  9. #9
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    This verse got slept on ....
    Up N for the second time honest criticism


    JamesJr.
    Feb 4th

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