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Thread: Check my keystyle...

  1. #1
    Intoxicated
    Guest

    Check my keystyle...

    Aight i'm new here so i guess i'll show you what i can do in a keystyle... not tryin too hard here...


    I yield the strength to move n lift boulders/
    you aint a 'match', want proof? i spit 'sulfar'/
    beatin kids, breaking all their teeth and ribs/
    kill you in court ... so you'll really plead to live/
    lyrically... I'm a force to reckon with/
    wreckin shit, cuz physically -
    i'm known to bust some Tekken shit/
    Go to africa hunting lions in leopard skin/
    at local villages my spits are used for medicine/
    i can take on reptilian forms n also shed ma skin/
    or mutate into viruses ... leave you dead within/
    inject mass doses in you with a lead seringe/
    so ya poisoned n down for the count like wresting pins/
    i'll land on ya throat from the top rope... youll never win/
    beat your ass like NWA so youll have to check ya chin/
    Tox lose?? think that'll happen?? bitch ya damn wrong/
    you punchin but i absorb the hits like ya fists were tampons/
    stole Psoidens trident n dipped the tip n a virus/
    threw it at ya face n made it stick in ya iris/
    stole Zuess powers and threw lightning at Hades/
    every god wants to kill my offspring and babies/
    feared throughout the universe, im a human curse/
    at night i become vampire cuz the blood fuels my thirst/
    before existance, ive been known to rule since birth/
    i developed the original deathstar designed to shoot at earth/
    rip black holes, smash meteors n play pool wit planets/
    release gas thats deadly till every fume has vanished/
    punchlines so brutal they leave ya bruised n damaged/
    you'll gonna get burried alive like running lose in sand pits/
    crews peep my shit and want me in... pagin left n right/
    Just remember: this shit was ill n im a free agent on this site//

  2. #2
    Intoxicated
    Guest
    ............give Some Feedback Please.............

  3. #3
    Kwizikal
    Guest
    wasn't bad...aight wordplay n vocab but flow was off at times....all in all tho...good attempt for a newby....

    Hit my bitchslapped up if u want so we can battle?

    Oh N hit my open mic up 2

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    615
    ok verse topics a bit used, try something new next time.

  5. #5
    Intoxicated
    Guest
    Aight thx for the feedback - guess i need ta work on my shit some more...

  6. #6
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    ..I really wasn't feeling this..yes it was a bit played out topic..but..your flow and wordplay made it boring..keep up..you'll only get better..

  7. #7
    Intoxicated
    Guest
    Alright - so youre saying i need more creative/complex wordplay and a more advanced flow structure?? I used to rhyme like with multi syllables...

    xxxABC xxxABC
    xxxABC xxxABC


    I stopped because i was told my bars were stretched...but then im told this is too basic.... any suggestions??

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