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Thread: Fear Of Commitment

  1. #1
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    Fear Of Commitment

    I rip myself to shreds because infinity is short
    when jumping on the bed was an olympic sport
    to keep clean or distort? I was only being honest
    exhaling contorts; rethinking what was promised
    beyond this; somewhere between handcuffs and tights
    underneath the heavy breathing at night with dim lights
    hands stay cold, like your smile, kisses become dry
    unlike the eyes full of sadness, making the heavens cry
    weather won't back up the feeling that is empty in my soul
    cause tears and fears will keep ears from hearing the goal
    stuck together in a hole that is only a half note
    stuck beside my role, just a simple laugh. Don't
    mistake it for uncaring...thats not where my heart lies
    all of the wearing and tearing is staring in my eyes
    while commotion fights emotions; devoting is questioned
    I will not use the lotion cause I haven't learned my lesson
    how I have yearned for sessions, where we could be alone
    and I wasn't even nervous as I hung up the telephone
    you didn't ever deserve this; I had invaded your home
    taunting lovingly but you won't throw a dog a bone
    my feelings all over the walls, but woe covers the floor
    as much as I detest it...I don't love you anymore


    (I wrote this while I was in the mindstate that I didn't love my girlfriend....I figured out that it was only my fear of a serious relationship)

    Peace
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  2. #2
    LA4Lyfe
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    i thought it was a hot piece very universal
    good multiez
    7.5/10

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    yea this was a nice decent Piece man i think it was a good write..ya structure was good and ya had really nice Flow Man Real Nice ya Had a nice use of it...ya vocab was was really good and ya had very well used multis in there...keep it droping man...PeacE...

  4. #4
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    thank you...I wasn't really focusing on the technical aspects in this piece, but hey, at least ya noticed em
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  5. #5
    Banned
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    this was avery nice piece..
    The flow was great
    The structure was like wooah
    the concept, and overall read was fantastic..
    After reading this, im going to look for some more of your reads.
    Dope piece..

    I was wondering, would you like to do a collabo with me?
    P.M if intrested.. could be me you and deacon, if you wish.
    again. Dope piece
    pz

  6. #6
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    ..I'll keep it simple.."ILL"..what more????

  7. #7
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    superman
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

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