Controversial Freestyle

[True-Souldja]

Beat - Eminem . My Name Is

This shit is sad, like yall viscious n mad,
Lame comments that hardly disses my dad,
We say eh and you say huh, aint no diffrence,
Cant even tell its winter when yo leg stiffens,
You dont even know the name of our Minister,
Or the canadian booze it was that finished "her",
See any mistakes? Cause I certainly do,
'How long does this take? I think ya hurtin me dude!'
Thats coo, and while Im at it, Ill become a drug addict,
Start sellin coc and wonder why all these "thugs" panic,
This aint a diss, Its list of facts makin the world pissed,
Yall take punches, try ta throw em and its a Plural miss,
Yall maniacs, the wackest rappers and these mainly facts,
Its like a broken down engine when ya brain reacts,



Yo no beef wit americans, just to the people who diss me in battles because we say eh, or because we be Inuits in igloo's or some shit, I guess yall havent seen Rick Mercer talkin with Americans. Maybe you should.
Pz.

[True-Souldja]

P.S.

I aint no Inuit livin in an Igloo by the way... Shit.

Anyway those of you who didnt take this serious (which is what I expect everyone did) please give me some feedback on this little freestyle. Thanks.
Pz.

[Obscure]

it was iight..
shorter than i expected
alright rhyme scheme
topic sucked
7/10 structure
5/10 mulits
overall 6/10
didnt enjoy it much either

[Endeva.]

ok i suppose,,, but the topic lacked..... it flowed ok and the structure seemed ok.... the scheme wasnt bad, but maybe could have been elaborated on some... the main concern is the length....with such short drops.. ya cant really hit the topic enough.....pZ.......

[True-Souldja]

thanks guys, appreciate the feedback.
But this was just something too say against faggets who try n make personal punches by telling me I say EH. Its so fuckin lame, I couldnt help but make my own shit dissin them cause they american... So saying the topic sucked aint gone help me... But next timeI'll make sure its longer so it can hit the topic to its fullest potential.
Pz.

[Penskills]

..this was wack!!!!!!!!

[Ron B. Vicious]

did this rhyme?Show me a scheme so to be honest i even put on that Eminem beat and tryed to hook it up and it aint work not at all not even a tad bit.

[Penskills]

Originally posted by Gunman tha Great
did this rhyme?Show me a scheme so to be honest i even put on that Eminem beat and tryed to hook it up and it aint work not at all not even a tad bit.

..you two have the same avy...
..this clown PM'ed me and start crying about,why I thought he was wack!

[Ron B. Vicious]

yeah he stole my avy in an attempt 4 me to adopt him, i refused so now he is depressed.

[Born To Kill]

Decent rhyme all in all...

Nothing spectacular in the way of vocab or flow, or really anything.

In fact, ya even used a quote that was pretty close to, "put down Christopher Reeve's legs" with that "hurtin me, dude" line...

So, points off for not being original.

But not bad all around.

I kinda missed the controversy, but I supposse the dissing could have been read like that.

5/10

Peace

[True-Souldja]

Shit Penskills and u other fagget all be trippin, this is supposed to be a little stupid thing thats funny, funny to me anyways. and for the guy who tryed it wit the beat, I guess you gotta different style then me and it dont fit in wit the beat using my words. Dont mean it doesnt flow wit u fucking asshole, and Penskills I emailed you too say that if thats the only comment u can come up wit then u obviously dont know shit, like fuckin tell me what too improve on dont tell me Im a wack. Fuckin assholes.

Obscure, Dev, and Born to Kill were the only ones who actually said what they thought... without saying i was wack. I think If all you assholes think you so good you should prove it by replying to an open mic properly.
Pz.