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Thread: Inpureities

  1. #1
    Free, As A Bird
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    Inpureities

    As i Walk Freely over dirty terraine,Im gettin stabbed by Used old Needles//
    Syringes peel back the skin of my feet,The babies Scream like Culled baby seals//
    A system designed to take back what we earn,Is it rbbery,No-its TAX//
    Therapists Ask always how we feel, "Im OK!",the governments on ya back//
    Wage more for war that we all dissagree,silent night bombs take the homes of peasents//
    No home to sleep in they serge for food, their father killed for stealin pheasent//
    Laws dont concure to be left un-aided,wre branded thieves wen though shalt not steal//
    But how we ment to take on a meal. Come on Tony Blaire, act up. Be real//
    These dangerd species we call fine people, are all cut down, shared out to minoritys//
    Periodicly were makin moves, to stoppin our nation discriminating stereotypically//
    re-animated to be taken for gruanted,these antics crowned are the ones to be given//
    if were a problem for Britain my leader,why is it at birth u let us poor ones be living//
    my thoughts are strong now for instance im ressurecting,the late,the fallen TuPac//
    So i can rebel against comercial Bitches,and i can pop him, and send his ass back//
    im not the one who cares all about me, i mean im never the kind for security//
    I like to think of my self as an Outkast, the kind who point out his planets Impurities.......

    *All diffirent things that we call Impure...
    All diffirent things that we can call Clean...
    Are devided up into two diffirent Tiers...
    One is real life and the other a Dream..*
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  2. #2
    Banned
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    You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

  3. #3
    Free, As A Bird
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    Ur Welcome
    ArcBiggEZ

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  4. #4
    Free, As A Bird
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    Tecnician
    Too Easy
    Dialekts
    ArcBiggEZ

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  5. #5
    Free, As A Bird
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    Uppin....
    ArcBiggEZ

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  6. #6
    Free, As A Bird
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    Uppin Part 2
    ArcBiggEZ

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  7. #7
    True-Souldja
    Guest
    That had a very decent flow, and some good meta's and shit. The topic is awesome, and the scheme is good. work on some more complicated rhymes thats all i can say as crit, if it is crit.

  8. #8
    Free, As A Bird
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    lol...Thanx...And its E Z breh...!!
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  9. #9
    s.R.
    Guest
    Good Good Flow, And Meta And Rhyme Scheme Were Pretty Sick...Vocabulary Was Good Too...

    8.33/10

    return the favor....Peep "DRINK LIQUOR FROM A CHALICE"

  10. #10
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    Aight thanx bro
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  11. #11
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    vocab and ideas in here were strong although some multis wouldve helped the flow of this, the bar length was a little too long as well, although i like the revolutionary raps which people seem to have forgotten about.

    a notch above what i usually read i here, good work.


    p.s: s.r. if youre gonna rate a rhyme out of ten, why the hell do you keep using decimels? the whole POINT of rating someone out of ten is to use a whole number!

    SS League Record 31-8
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  12. #12
    Free, As A Bird
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    LOL @ decimals....

    Im glad some1 relises the bar length..Its not something im trying so hard to do, but i thought about it, and decided to jus chek it out.....The multies and internal rhymin is somethin im sick of doing at the mo....So i decided to have change....Make it just a message verse or whateva... thanx all the same
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  13. #13
    Newbie butcher's Avatar
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    your alright man,youve got good vocab but your topics are abit too deep for people to relate to and understand, dont get me wrong though it makes sense
    Banned: butcher = Alter = KaYne

  14. #14
    Free, As A Bird
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    Thanx for ur Oppinion Mate..!!
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  15. #15
    Newbie 3rDegree21's Avatar
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    yea this was soild... keep it comin
    Imma stay in the shop/ chopin the cane/ till it look like nigga's play hockey on my chain

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